As the Stomach Growls

I've been craving doughnuts. The fancy kind, with frosting and fillings and sprinkles and stuff. I've wanted them a lot, and I've wanted a lot of them. So far, I've been able to resist their siren call. But...

Will my resolve last? If so, for how long? If not, how long will it take the girl to cave?

If she gets them and devours them in a bacchanal of deep fried sugar bliss, will they make her happy? Will they adhere directly to her butt? Curse her with indigestion, zits, and fat rolls? If she gets zits, will she be able to cure them without the help of a dermatologist? What about the indigestion? Will it pass? Naturally? And will those rippling rolls of doughnut fat, never mind the sugary dough enhanced butt, require the services of a personal trainer? Or a plastic surgeon?

Oh, my God, this could become one of those never-ending serial stories. I wonder if Jenny Craig and Pepto Bismol would sponsor it?

And she wants doughnuts -- why?

Zombie Law

It's been a long, hard week and I'm feeling alarmingly zombie-like today. Really, I could have stayed in bed half the day if I didn't have things that have to be done. I worked pretty much non-stop all week, basically practicing law for He Who Is Too Senile to remember how. I seriously have to prepare his cases for him and send him off to court with "cheat sheets." And I have to stay on top of the other guy's cases that fall within my purview, too. Some days I feel like an assembly line. Today, I am more glad than usual that it's TGIF.

You guys have a great weekend! After doing the little quiz, of course.

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

Slap a Spammer Today

Don't you just love spam in your comment box? I don't know what its purpose is. Do these morons really think anyone is going to pay the slightest bit of attention to their stupid spam (which is probably riddled with worms and viruses and other nasty stuff)? Do they think we're morons? Don't you just want to slap the pee out of them?

My latest spammer is "Bak." No profile, of course. These freaktards never have one. They have nothing to contribute and no known reason for their existence. Their only purpose is to piss people off, as far as I can tell. Before Bak were Lu, Lin, and half a dozen others over the past month. They all use the same wording, starting with "Thanks for your sharing! Great helpful!" and ending with "Sorry for the bother, God bless!" Yeah, they're clearly really sorry for the bother to the great helpful one. Duh. Freaktard. In between is the body of their spam comment, consisting entirely of hyperlinks. God only knows where those might lead. I'm not stupid enough to follow one.

I get all of my comments via e-mail, so I see these idiots' comments even when you don't. Luckily, Blogger's spam filter works very well and only one or two of them have actually ended up on my blog -- and necessitated my going in to manually take out the trash. If these freaktards ever check back to see their handiwork for posterity, you'd think they'd know they never see the light of day. So what possesses them to keep on spamming? All I can think is -- sheer stupidity.

I'm rooting for God to bless them with lightning bolts, STDs, hemorrhagic fevers, and hordes of zombies. Let 'em hyperlink that.

My Thoughts Laid Bare? Not Today!

The purpose of a blog is -- what? We know that "blog" is loosely defined as a Web log; i.e., a log or journal or -- diary. We don't lock them with tiny keys and hide them under our beds, though. We write them online -- and allow virtual strangers to comment upon our innermost thoughts, our moods, our idiosyncracies, our glories, our weirdness.

But I'm not blogging, in the strictest sense of the word, today. Serena (a) no feel like sharing thoughts and/or (b) be too lazy to journal anything. Take your pick. And take the quasi-fun Zombie quiz.

Happy Hump Day!



god of the dead
Take would you survive a zombie rampage? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

you would make all the right decisions in battle and would laugh at a zombie attempting to eat your brains.

You Just Know What You Know.

It's going to be a busy-as-hell Tuesday and I, ever ill prepared, have no time to write an actual post. Therefore, let's just do a stupid quiz today. You have to admit, though, they are sometimes fun. Have a good Tuesday!

You Are 80% Intuitive

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right. You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous. When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

How Intuitive Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

Music For A Monday

Serena's Full-Moon Friday Playdate

I think (I hope) I've already been beaten up and banged around as much as I'm going to be by la pleine lune and that the worst is over. Therefore, I can perhaps chill just a little and actually enjoy my Friday. And you enjoy yours. TGIF!

You Are Fiction

You believe that life is magical, especially when you enter the world of ideas. You are highly creative and imaginative. The real world often isn't enough for you. You are optimistic and hopeful. You believe that we craft our own destinies. You believe that if you can dream it, you can do it. And you do a lot of dreaming.

Are You Fiction or Non-fiction?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

As Long As There Are Pink Slippers...

Weird vibe around the office yesterday. Bar complaint against the old dude. Inappropriate comments to a female prospective client. Oh, boy. It'll be interesting to see how this shakes out.

I had a headache from Monday morning to Tuesday night. That pretty well sucked. Last night, my toes cramped up, which also sucked. It was my own fault, though. High heels.

I was all the way down the stairs with the dog yesterday for our evening walk before I realized I was wearing my bedroom slippers. Which would be these:


Duh. I had to trudge back upstairs, dragging a recalcitrant dog who, I guess, thought in her little pea brain that we weren't going to walk after all. We got it done, though, and she was a happy little girl who got to go pee-pee on her favorite shrubs. The dog, I mean. I prefer the indoor plumbing myself.

My weekend starts after work today, and I'm going to have to spend some time with my checkbook tonight. There seems to be a discrepancy between the bank's records and mine. I don't like it a little bit when I appear to be missing $50. It doesn't help that Math is not my forte. I can add and subtract, however, and I don't think this is my "Duh."

Anyway... It's Thursday! Woo-hoo!! I'm thinking Chinese takeout for dinner.

Of Moons and Pigs

Hallelujah, the wind has finally stopped blowing, albeit a number of wildfires are still burning. With the unusually dry air the past few days, static was a big problem. I hate it when I get shocked trying to turn a light on. And with the hell winds, every time I stepped outside, I came back in with troll hair. I think I scared people. I know it scared me.


I rolled over and looked at the clock yesterday morning. Yep, it was 6:15, time to get up. I'd been to the bathroom, turned on the TV to catch the morning news, and turned on the coffeemaker (thinking I'd forgotten to flip the switch the night before) before I realized (from looking at 3 different clocks) that it was ... 5:15. Duh. It beat oversleeping, though, I must admit.

Behind Door #1, things are going to work one way. Behind Door #2, they're going to maybe work another way. Behind Door #3, it's not going to work by any hook or crook and there's a pass to take your losses and run. Which door are you gonna choose? It's a quandary.


The moon is getting fatter and fatter. So far, so good. I'm not inclined to hunker in, self-combust, tin foil the windows, go full-tilt boogie with a royal hissy fit, shop 'til I drop or go broke, whichever comes first, paint myself blue and yell at the stupid thing, or lock myself in the bathroom and write maudlin crap 'til I throw up. The orb is up there. All lit up. It does what it does. And ... it's getting bigger. It'll be in full zombie mode by Friday night. That's okay, I'm ready. Or I will be. Or I might be. Or I could be. Like maybe when pigs fly.

We're still in the clear today, though, so have a Happy Hump Day!

Wayward Critters and Stuff

The wind has been ferocious since mid-day Sunday, so before taking the dog out late in the afternoon, I looked out the front window to see how hard the wind was blowing. I was chagrined to see what I thought was a big dog galloping down the side street, headed straight for the highway. By the time the animal reached the center line on the highway, I realized it was a deer. Thank God there were no cars coming at that particular moment!

Yesterday, I ran a couple of errands after work. Approaching a red light at a major intersection, I saw an older woman on the sidewalk with a Corgi walking beside her. It became clear in just a second that the dog wasn't on a leash and, sure enough, it walked off the sidewalk and in front of the cars stopped at the light. The woman looked like she didn't know what to do and seemed to be mouthing the words, "It's not my dog." Finally, she stepped off the curb as though to go after him, while I had one of those heart-stopping moments and put my hand over my mouth. And then, the girl at the wheel of the car in front of me opened her door and, lo and behold, the dog jumped in. It actually took him two tries, because he was a little fat. Then the light changed, and she drove off while the lady on the sidewalk went on her way. I don't know what happened. Either the girl got herself a rescue Corgi, or she'd been driving around looking for him and found him. Whichever, it was pure serendipity, in my book.

There were roses on my desk yesterday morning -- from the elderly boss. He apparently had one of his softer moments for Valentine's Day.

And now, yep, the girl's got Spring Fever. You?

Your Spring Sense is Sound

You love the way the sounds change during the spring time. It's like the whole world is waking up. First the birds start chirping. Then the kids start playing. Before you know it, life is back in full swing again. You are observant, thoughtful, and even philosophical. You like taking the time to pay attention to things. You notice the little details that everyone else seems to overlook. And your memories tend to be extremely vivid.

What's Your Spring Sense?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

Happy V-Day

I dropped my tax returns in the mail this morning. I'm getting a little money back this year. Yippee! Not enough to buy the new car I've been wanting, but it'll help. I'd have mailed them off last week, which would have given the government a little less time to hold onto my money, but I was busy with work stuff and company for the pre-Valentine's weekend and didn't have time to get everything put together and signed.

It's starting to feel like Spring around here. Double yippee! It may actually hit 70 by Friday, which will be wonderful.

Have a good Monday, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Serena's Friday Pre-Valentine's Playdate

TGIF, Happy Weekend, and Happy Valentine's Day!

You Should Get An Adopted Animal

You have a big heart, and your perfect Valentine's Day gift gives back. Whether you get a real adopted pet or sponsor an animal somewhere, knowing you've made a difference makes your heart soar. You believe that love is about giving and sharing - not about what you get in return. You are a truly genuine person, and anyone would be extremely lucky to be loved by you.

What Valentine's Day Gift Should You Get?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

Like Candy?

Four more days.

See what your (dumb) candy heart says.

What will your Valentine Heart say?

Balance? What's That?

Five more days. Have you broken out the candy hearts yet?

Oh, and it's Wednesday -- Happy Hump Day!

Your Love Style is Balanced

You tend to approach falling in love practically. You don't let your heart get ahead of your head. You see love as the most important part of your life. You don't obsess over it, but it is what gets you up in the morning. You see love with your head, and you believe in working on a relationship. You think communication is key - as well as core compatibility. You are swept off your feet by words of love. A love letter or love poem from your sweetie can make your heart melt.

The Either Or Love Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Beware of Sharp Arrows

It's less than a week 'til Valentine's Day, and there are reports of Cupid on the loose. Look out!

Your Love Word is "Passion"

Love is something that totally consumes you. For you, love is a very overwhelming experience. You feel like you can't control who you love. Love just happens! When you're in love, you tend to have a few bouts of slight madness. You are prone to strong emotions. Love prevents you from thinking clearly, especially when you're around your beloved.

What's Your Love Word?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

V-Day is Coming...

...and you know what that means. Toys!

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

(Slightly Warped) Percentages

I suspect there are those who would say I'm slightly higher maintenance than this, but ... whatever.

Happy Hump Day!

How high-maintenance are you?

You are 41% High-Maintenance!
You're a little high-maintenance, but not that much. You like being pampered, but that doesn't mean you're afraid of hard work - you can get the job done, if need be.

The Zen of Tuesdays

After a blissfully warm weekend, it went back to cold, gray skies yesterday. Today, we're about to be waterlogged. But at least, it's Tuesday -- one day before Hump Day, two days before my weekend starts, three days until TGIF. I can see some room for optimism in that.

You Are An Idealist

You have your own quirky ideas about the world. Your mind just operates on a totally different plane. You like esoteric things, and you are attracted to people who are a little outside the mainstream. You are a big picture person. You absolutely can't stand dealing with details. You have no patience for small talk or niceties. You like to get down to what's important.

The Zen Rock Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!