That's not helping my surly mood brought on by the redneck neighbor's big-ass dog barking all night. That sort of counteracted my actually getting to bed before midnight for the first time in I don't know how long. Moron.
If you try four or five times to get your bra hooked and you just can't do it, it doesn't necessarily herald the sudden onset of Altzheimer's. Take a deep breath, and then take it off and make sure you don't have it on inside out. Duh.
I haven't quizzed my pretties much this week, so today's the day to pick your brains a little bit and have a little fun with you at the same time.
Get your fortune here:
|No person is without enemies. Except for you and Arnold Schwarzenegger|
|'What is your Fortune?' at QuizGalaxy.com|
What are some of your favorite things?
What famous movie kiss are you?
|Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Spiderman|
"I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"
Twisted Linguistics brought in these Words Gone Wild in handcuffs today.
pention fund - Saving up for a penthouse.
Stephin King - A stand-in for a famous scary writer.
alledged - Stuck on a ledge.
they have really took to it - LOL!
Today's Installment of Dear TWIT
Downtrodden author's reply to the company's last letter:
Oh, my God! FINALLY! My very own tone letter. Only $20 a pop? What, are your girls ugly or something? I can do better than that on the slowest corner downtown on a Saturday night.
Oops. Now you're never going to let me go, are you?
UNslave Me and I'll Pay You $20
Dear UNslave Me:
First of all, stop changing your name, we here at Putrid Publishing know who you are!
Secondly, you will never know what Betty, Betsy, or Bitsy look like because we are very careful to keep their pictures off the internet and we cover their heads during their "other duties." Do you think we're stupid or something, if we didn't we wouldn't even get the twenty bucks!
As for "unslaving you," we get far more entertainment out of knowing you are unhappy and stressed out than $20.00 could ever provide. So keep your $20.00, you're going to need it what with royalties coming up and all.
The Asshat Brigade
Dear Miss Uppity Tone Lady at the Asshat Brigade,
Never?! What if I offered you $40 and promised to stop saying nasty things about you? Man, them girls of yours must be truly awful looking if you have to cover their heads before you send them out to ... work. My names really bug you, huh? Apparently, you ain't all that up on who I am. PimpDaddy Billy-Bob put my real name in his trashy book and looks dazed and confused whenever he hears my dead and buried name.
Lady, you should never ask a pissed off slave if she thinks you're stupid. Duh! I do, in spades. NOW will you release me?
Let me ask you another question, AssHat Lady. If you people were to get out of the printing/pimping business and become a rap group, what would you call yourselves?
I Will Annoy You To Death If I Have To
Dear Annoy you to Death:
I see you changed your name again. Like every other AssHat hear I am going to ignore what you writed and answer your questions the way I wont to. We have many success stories. I can prove it, Hell I writed most of them. Can't you tell,? they are spelt rong. We have neber been late with a royalty payment. We do, how ever, forget to send them at random because it amuses us. You will be hearing from us shortly. Ha Ha go check your e-amil now.
Assistant Deputy director of Pimping
P.S. We don't know how to wrap, but we are holding a meeting with the big 3 to find out what it means.