This "forward" I got recently is good for a few laughs. Enjoy, and Happy Hump Day!
A doctor on his morning walk noticed the old lady above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
And now, to continue getting you in the mood for Halloween...