As you know -- as I hope you know, and are prepared for -- there's a full moon tomorrow night. I can already tell it's going to be one honkin' evil moon. Hell, it's already been bad and it hasn't even arrived yet. Anywho, what I wish to interrogate you about today involves moon stuff. Perhaps your answers will help me to be better prepared. Or perhaps they'll make me laugh, cry, or stomp off to the bunker in a snit. Either way, you have to answer them. It's Thursday.
1. Tomorrow night, would you rather meet up with: (a) a roaming band of moon-crazed werewolves; (b) a bunch of starving zombies; (c) a pack of estrogen poisoned redneck sluts; (d) a horde of bored celebrities; (d) a marauding gang of dyslexic juvenile cannibal Pygmies with anger issues; or (e) a rampaging crew of humorless men and women who've had no coffee all day?
2. I'm not stupid, I know the moon isn't really made of green cheese. But -- would you be willing to take a look at it through a telescope and report back to me on what you see?
3. If I decided to thumb my nose at the whole moon shebang and bungee jump, skydive, belly dance, or ride on a motorcycle without a helmet tomorrow night, what do you think would happen?
4. Can you recommend something from the corner bodega to keep me calm, soothe my roiling hormones, and shore up my mojo?
5. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to just go wild and OD on sugar all day long tomorrow (and if my butt blows up to twice its normal size, I'll just tattoo the moon on it). Good idea, or bad?
6. Since the human body is mostly water and we all know about the moon's gravitational pull on water, do you think it makes more sense to just spend tomorrow in a sweat lodge?
7. What do you think about this week's goings-on with FannieMae, FreddieMac, and IndyMac?
I'm not superstitious, but 7's a lucky number and I'm stopping while I'm ahead.
For our pre-Full Moon blasfomy rites (which don't necessarily equate to fertility rites, just in case you were wondering), TWISTED LINGUISTICS offers up these Words Gone Wild on the altar of unexorcised spelling. I'm not touching these sick puppies; they're all yours.
insatable
despertly
councelling
reakl
perportioned
inonnocent
rude awaking
i got lead down the primmrose path
affraid
pruitans
tittilating
titalate
producat
13 comments:
The effects of the full moon are a combination tidal, mythical and mystical. However, for a portion of the population, the effects of a full moon are to bring out the half-assed in many ;)
1. The redneck sluts of course. Sheesh!
2. Sorry, all my telescopes are aimed at the neighbors like everyone elses
3. I think you’d be too tired to care about the moon after all those activities
4. Bodega, Columbia is just around the corner?
5. Always a good idea, I’d recommend Cocoa Puffs
6. Replace it with alcohol
7. I only heard about Big Mac
I remember the good old days, when FreddieMac was just another burger at MacDonalds. No, wait, that's not right...never mind...I'll just stick with the blasfomys...
insatable - unable to take the college entrance exams.
despertly - an otherwise worthless island group contested by Vietnam, China, and the Philippines.
councelling - totalling up the number of one's portable phones.
reakl - to akl again. God knows why, it didn't make sense the first time.
perportioned - allotted.
inonnocent - broke, as in not a cent.
rude awaking - the ruler of the Awas is an unpleasant person.
i got lead down the primmrose path - I went so slowly down the primrose path that it grew an extra m.
affraid - the police finally crack down on the affs.
pruitans - still opposed to everything fun, still backward. See, "Wahhabi."
tittilating - arriving late for one's boob job.
titalate - coffee served in a silly mug shaped like a...well, you know...
producat - poke your kitty to get him moving.
1. Rather meet up with...Him
2. Telescope report...pox marks
3. what woulld happen?..a lot of Adventure tourism
4.Remedy :Eucalyptus oil with camphor applied to temples, a hot oil massage and aromatherapy.
5. Idea? I don't know if its good or bad, I don't know about you, but I am going to stuff myself up with butterscotch icing cake as its my son's birthday tomorrow. & MY butt doesn't blow up... But if yours does, still I wouldn't advise a tattoo. It would look like a shriveled date stalk, when your butt deflates later.
6. Sauna bath sounds like fun on a full moon night!
7.Are those new burgers launched by MacDonalds?
Me thinks I am guilty of many of those spellings at some time in my life. Maybe I am a werewolf and it was the mystical full moons fault?????
I have sooooo missed your posts, its good to get back
Well, I'll tell you one thing, Skunk. It's sure brought out my sorry, half-assed dark side this month. Which is not to say I'm a quivering mass of rage or anything, but I'm definitely feeling discombobulated.:)
Oh, #1 - of course, VE. You all, meaning guys, like those, don't you? Grrrrrr. I like the Cocoa Puffs idea. Can I just pour beer on them?:-)
Great definitions, Bilbo. You have such a way with these troublesome words. I did wonder about the primmrose guy. I think he either got jabbed with a pencil or sniffed some bad paint somewhere down the path.:)
Which Him, Mona? One of the zombies, werewolves, Pygmies, or the coffee-deprived? LOL. I don't actually think my butt will blow up, but I suppose it could. Maybe I'll tattoo it anyway. The Macs are government-backed banks that almost went belly-up this week.:)
Hey, Queenie, it's good to see you back!:)
1. Tomorrow night, would you rather meet up with: (a) a roaming band of moon-crazed werewolves; (b) a bunch of starving zombies; (c) a pack of estrogen poisoned redneck sluts; (d) a horde of bored celebrities; (d) a marauding gang of dyslexic juvenile cannibal Pygmies with anger issues; or (e) a rampaging crew of humorless men and women who've had no coffee all day?
(c) a pack of estrogen poisoned redneck sluts. Please don't tell me you're surprised by my choice.
2. I'm not stupid, I know the moon isn't really made of green cheese. But -- would you be willing to take a look at it through a telescope and report back to me on what you see?
I see that the neighbor has killed his wife. But BEFORE that, she was slowly undressing. I was just about the get involved, but then he arrived and started on the second activity.
3. If I decided to thumb my nose at the whole moon shebang and bungee jump, skydive, belly dance, or ride on a motorcycle without a helmet tomorrow night, what do you think would happen?
I'd race to the scene an talk you into staying on-task with #2.
4. Can you recommend something from the corner bodega to keep me calm, soothe my roiling hormones, and shore up my mojo?
Yes. I recommend the Pug manning the cash register.
5. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to just go wild and OD on sugar all day long tomorrow (and if my butt blows up to twice its normal size, I'll just tattoo the moon on it). Good idea, or bad?
Good idea, as I just happen to be in Apollo 20, ready for lift-off.
6. Since the human body is mostly water and we all know about the moon's gravitational pull on water, do you think it makes more sense to just spend tomorrow in a sweat lodge?
No, it makes more sense for me to be velcro'd to your bedroom ceiling, in place of the mirror.
7. What do you think about this week's goings-on with FannieMae, FreddieMac, and IndyMac?
I think FannieMae ought to get her ass in gear. I'm also wondering: FreddicMac, when are you coming back? IndyMac is just a cheesy Johnny-come-lately.
perhaps He could be coffee 'depraved' if not deprived... :)
No, Puggy, I'm not surprised by your #1 choice. You are, after all, a male Pug. So, I guess this means you're not going to turn in the guy in #2? Yes, but what would you sell me for #4? Re #5, I thought Pugs were allergic to Velcro. What they need to do with the Macs and Miss Mae is bring in Mack the Knife to whip them into shape.:)
Mona, I'm afraid that by tomorrow night, everyone will be depraved. Those who've had their coffee might be a little more gently inclined. Or maybe not.:-)
1..A pack of poisoned redhaired sluts.
2..A guy that looks just like Galileo looking back at me.
3..The big fake navel ruby would pop out on the floor cause you are so skinny.
4..How about a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20??
5..Anything involving that cute ass of yours is a GREAT idea!!
6..Thats easy, just turn your A/C off..
7..Are those in Hackensack??
.
Please remind me to stay on your good side....Never mind, I'll be tippy-toeing thru the tulips till this cycle is finis...Au Revoir.
Mr. G...xox,,:-)))
Oh, great, another vote for the sluts. You guys have fun. I think I'm going to party with the zombies myself.:) I don't know what's in Hackensack, Mr. G. Probably nothin' good.:)
1. Tomorrow night, would you rather meet up with: (a) a roaming band of moon-crazed werewolves; (b) a bunch of starving zombies; (c) a pack of estrogen poisoned redneck sluts; (d) a horde of bored celebrities; (d) a marauding gang of dyslexic juvenile cannibal Pygmies with anger issues; or (e) a rampaging crew of humorless men and women who've had no coffee all day?
Starving Zombies. Because I have borrowed "The Zombie Survival Guide" from a friend, so I'm prepared. ;)
2. I'm not stupid, I know the moon isn't really made of green cheese. But -- would you be willing to take a look at it through a telescope and report back to me on what you see?
I would--but only if you really wanted to know. I know how the moon plagues you...
3. If I decided to thumb my nose at the whole moon shebang and bungee jump, skydive, belly dance, or ride on a motorcycle without a helmet tomorrow night, what do you think would happen?
Go for the belly dancing. The worst that could happen is one of your dangly decorations could get tangled up on a hottie and that could spark some stimulating conversation, or you may be forced to take him home with you. ;)
4. Can you recommend something from the corner bodega to keep me calm, soothe my roiling hormones, and shore up my mojo?
Warm lavender Oil and a massage.
5. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to just go wild and OD on sugar all day long tomorrow (and if my butt blows up to twice its normal size, I'll just tattoo the moon on it). Good idea, or bad?
6. Since the human body is mostly water and we all know about the moon's gravitational pull on water, do you think it makes more sense to just spend tomorrow in a sweat lodge?
Hmm...i don't know about that. Are their guys there? ;)
7. What do you think about this week's goings-on with FannieMae, FreddieMac, and IndyMac?
It's just a distraction from the rest of the crap that is going on around us.
Take care SJ and beware the moon!
--snow
Woo-hoo, Snow, #3 works for me! Now, if I can just get a copy of that "Zombie Survival Guide," I'll do #4 and check out #6.:-)
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