Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Thursday Q & A
As you know -- as I hope you know, and are prepared for -- there's a full moon tomorrow night. I can already tell it's going to be one honkin' evil moon. Hell, it's already been bad and it hasn't even arrived yet. Anywho, what I wish to interrogate you about today involves moon stuff. Perhaps your answers will help me to be better prepared. Or perhaps they'll make me laugh, cry, or stomp off to the bunker in a snit. Either way, you have to answer them. It's Thursday.
1. Tomorrow night, would you rather meet up with: (a) a roaming band of moon-crazed werewolves; (b) a bunch of starving zombies; (c) a pack of estrogen poisoned redneck sluts; (d) a horde of bored celebrities; (d) a marauding gang of dyslexic juvenile cannibal Pygmies with anger issues; or (e) a rampaging crew of humorless men and women who've had no coffee all day?
2. I'm not stupid, I know the moon isn't really made of green cheese. But -- would you be willing to take a look at it through a telescope and report back to me on what you see?
3. If I decided to thumb my nose at the whole moon shebang and bungee jump, skydive, belly dance, or ride on a motorcycle without a helmet tomorrow night, what do you think would happen?
4. Can you recommend something from the corner bodega to keep me calm, soothe my roiling hormones, and shore up my mojo?
5. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to just go wild and OD on sugar all day long tomorrow (and if my butt blows up to twice its normal size, I'll just tattoo the moon on it). Good idea, or bad?
6. Since the human body is mostly water and we all know about the moon's gravitational pull on water, do you think it makes more sense to just spend tomorrow in a sweat lodge?
7. What do you think about this week's goings-on with FannieMae, FreddieMac, and IndyMac?
I'm not superstitious, but 7's a lucky number and I'm stopping while I'm ahead.
For our pre-Full Moon blasfomy rites (which don't necessarily equate to fertility rites, just in case you were wondering), TWISTED LINGUISTICS offers up these Words Gone Wild on the altar of unexorcised spelling. I'm not touching these sick puppies; they're all yours.
i got lead down the primmrose path