Wednesday, July 16, 2008

MEME Me

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I've been thinking about the economy, fuel prices, bank failures, pork barrel spending, slush funds, yada-yada. This Meme just kind of evolved from that kind of thinking.

Meme Rules: You may answer the questions in the Comment box (in which case, please copy in the questions and supply the answers so readers won't have to go back to the post to see the questions), or you may port the meme to your blog and tag your readers if you wish.

**My Memes belong to me; however, all are welcome to use them. If you do, just provide a link back, please.


If you were going to sell your life on eBay:

1. What would be your biggest selling point?

2. What would be your opening bid?

3. What advertising gimmick would you use?

4. What restrictions would you impose?

5. What payment methods would you accept?

6. Would you offer free shipping?

7. How long do you think it would take to close the deal?

I doubt that these moldering blasfomys exhumed by TWISTED LINGUISTICS have anything to do with the economy -- but they could. I'll give 'em a shot, but see what you can do with them as well; i.e., put 'em on the rack, get 'em hot, and make 'em sweat.

worsstest - A premonition of next month's trying economy.

chauvanistic - Describes some of the politicians who got us into this worsstest mess.

dimned your witt - What will happen when school funding is cut.

had beed - He used to flit around like a happy bee; now he doesn't.

shrapnal - Sharp crap that hits you every payday.

I had a severed bout - And with no insurance, the docs didn't bother to sew it back on.

unnessasary - There will be no funds available this year for the annual Nessie hunt.

herrassed - Half-assed sexual innuendo in today's depressed offices.

13 comments:

Bilbo said...

worsstest - the next attempt at creating a yardstick for the No Child Left Behind law.

chauvanistic - overly proud of one's van.

dimned your witt - ratted out a former East German skating champion.

had beed - was homosexual (if not, the expression would be "had birded and beed").

shrapnal - a book of cutting hip-hop lyrics.

I had a severed bout - the stupid network cut to a commercial just as I delivered the knockout punch.

unnessasary - a place to store one's unnessas's.

herrassed - a German gentleman with a very unfortunate last name.

Skunkfeathers said...

Ha...were I to try to sell myself anywhere, I'd have to pay to be taken ;)

puerileuwaite said...

1. What would be your biggest selling point?

Does NOT cause chafing

2. What would be your opening bid?

Ten Hail Marys

3. What advertising gimmick would you use?

Free lifetime replacements! Just pay shipping and handling!

4. What restrictions would you impose?

Do not mix with ammonia

5. What payment methods would you accept?

Self-Discovery Card only

6. Would you offer free shipping?

No. It creates the illusion of desperation to move product

7. How long do you think it would take to close the deal?

Until the drunk enough to purchase / yet sober enough to complete the online transaction threshold has been reached

Kanrei said...

1. What would be your biggest selling point?

My lightning quick, but rarely funny wit

2. What would be your opening bid?
Best offer (actual money please)

3. What advertising gimmick would you use?
I would post a photo of my face over my face so people who met me would know what they were buying.

4. What restrictions would you impose?
Offer void in Tennessee

5. What payment methods would you accept?
Cash, check, and McDonald's gift cards.

6. Would you offer free shipping?
Yes, but it would be a limited time offer that ends just a second before you accept it.

7. How long do you think it would take to close the deal?
It has taken 37 years so far. I need a better agent.

VE said...

1. What would be your biggest selling point?

Batteries included

2. What would be your opening bid?

I would only pay somebody $100 to be me…

3. What advertising gimmick would you use?

Scares off children and solicitors

4. What restrictions would you impose?

Cannot sub-lease any parts

5. What payment methods would you accept?

Food

6. Would you offer free shipping?

With the airlines, NOTHING is free

7. How long do you think it would take to close the deal?

Two weeks. It usually takes two weeks for me to line up enough obnoxious pranks to be returned to sender

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Bilbo. You did a much better job than I today.:-)

Ah, don't sell yourself short, Skunk.:)

Close the bidding, Puggy. I'll buy. I was sold at #1, and #3 sealed the deal.:D

Kan, I have some McDonald's gift cards and I don't live in Tennessee, so let me get back to you tomorrow. It's payday.:-P

VE, I'm a sucker for anything that comes with batteries and scares off chickens and solicitors. That includes Jehovah's Witnesses, right? What kind of food do you want?:-)

/t. said...

happy...

TODAY!

serena joy!

(sorry, have lost track)

/t.

Serena Joy said...

Hey, /t. Let's get you back on the tracks, babe. It's -- HUMP Day! And I wish you a deliriously happy one.:)

G-Man said...

1..Guaranteed to bring a smile!
2..Make an offer
3..No reasonable offer refused.
4..Void in Maine and the District of Columbia.
5..Cash and Booze
6..No! But thanks for asking
7..SOLD!!!

...I'm sooo cheap and easy!
xox

Serena Joy said...

Since I don't live in ME or D.C., G-man, your offer is valid here. Since I can always use another smile, I'll make you this offer: 1 slightly worn red shoe (left), 1 whole and 1 broken frog earring, a ticket stub from 'Bambi,' and TWO working lava lamps. How 'bout it?:)

puerileuwaite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
snowelf said...

If you were going to sell your life on eBay:

1. What would be your biggest selling point?
I am low maintenance. Kinda like a cat--I pretty much take care of myself, I just like to be petted once in awhile. ;)

2. What would be your opening bid?
$32.00

3. What advertising gimmick would you use?
I'd get Billy Mays Hays to be my spokesperson. :) No reasonable offer refused. ;)

4. What restrictions would you impose?
No name calling. Ever.

5. What payment methods would you accept?
Well cooked meals.

6. Would you offer free shipping?
Yep. :) I'd go anywhere someone's going to cook for me.

7. How long do you think it would take to close the deal?
If you put a time limit on things, it seems to prod people into action. :P

--snow

Serena Joy said...

I think you'll close the deal with time to spare, Snow.:)