Serena's Friday Playdate

Unlike last week, this week has flown by. Since I'm feeling better, I've been busier. And I'm working from home -- for both my old boss and my new boss. I've made it known that I won't set foot in the old boss's office and will do only certain pleadings for her. I demanded more money, too. Clearly, she was desperate. Ha-ha!

Anyway, TGIF! Have a great weekend!!

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You Are French Fries

You are friendly and easygoing. People can't help but like you! You are always welcome wherever you go, and people crave you more than they'd like to admit. You are extremely fun loving. You try not to think about responsibilities whenever possible. You are rich in personality and spirit. You have a lot to offer, but you never let it go to your head.

Are You French Fries or Onion Rings?

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The Week's Best E-Mail

Roxan sent me this and it made me laugh. I have to confess that in high school -- and maybe for a few years afterwards -- I'd have tried this. Less than amply endowed young ladies will try just about anything. Later on, you realize it doesn't matter. It is what it is and anyone who doesn't like it can look elsewhere.

Have a great Wednesday, kids, and a Happy Hump Day! Y




Doobies

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Smith advised her "Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'"

She did this faithfully for several months. To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs!

One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had
forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, "Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?"

"Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He winked and replied, "Hickory dickory dock..."

Things Are Lookin' Up

Yesterday was a good day, with the exception of missing my dog like crazy. Today, I'm going out. My neighbor is going to drive me to the bank and a shop I need to visit, and we might go have lunch. This is a definite improvement.


It cooled down yesterday. Yes, indeed! It was only 93, with lower humidity. I think it's going to be even "cooler" today.


Whatever you guys are up to today, enjoy and have a Terrific Tuesday. ¡Hasta mañana!

Yucka-Yucka-Ugh

I'm in a bit of a funk today. It's partly from frustration at my situation, partly from the ungodly heat and humidity of the past week, partly from pain, and partly from being forced to give up even one molecule of control over my own life. Ugh! Yuck!

My dog walker didn't show up yesterday. He forgot. I know, he's just a kid, getting ready to head off to college soon, and he got an invitation to do something else, and he forgot. When my poor sweet dog still hadn't been taken out to pee at 1:30 P.M., I gave up even more control and called my ex to come and take her home with him for a week or so. She won't be at the mercy of someone else's schedule, and I won't have to depend on someone who could show up at any hour, or not at all. I know she'll be looked after, but I miss her so much I cried last night.

I have three more weeks to get myself fully recuperated. Considering how long it's already been, it doesn't seem like very long. Hopefully, things will move along faster now. They'd better.

Serena's Friday Playdate

It's been such a long week. I'm bored out of my head. Sick of being confined. Frustrated. Still in pain. Annoyed at having to get everything done at someone else's convenience, even though I know that beggars can't be choosers. Concerned about my job; they said they'd hold it, but what if they don't? In any event, TGIF! Have a lovely weekend.

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You Are Patient Enough

In most cases, you are patient enough to keep it together. You may feel impatient on the inside, but you don't usually let it show. However, if you're made to wait for too long, you will usually crack. You're only human, after all. You don't like for your patience to be tested.

Are You Impatient?

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The Week's Best E-Mail

Skunkfeathers sent me this week's best e-mail, and it made me bust out laughing. Hope you guys get a kick out of it, too.

Have a good Wednesday and -- a Happy Hump Day!Y


An Alert for Older Men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also April 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

Let Me Eat Cake!

I am going stir crazy. I feel like a prisoner, which is a bit extreme for the crime of klutziness. Surely that's only a misdemeanor. I hate not being able to go where I want, when I want. I'm so used to indulging my whims, on a whim. I am chafing horribly at being curtailed.

My freezer and cupboards are well stocked and I'm in no imminent danger of starving. I have plenty of cookies and ice cream to satisfy my sweet tooth. But I keep wanting things to eat that I don't have, and it's driving me nuts that I can't go out and get them. I want a big fat cheeseburger -- and real fries. Since yesterday, I've had an ungodly craving for doughnuts and sheet cake, white with that fluffy white frosting and the flowers made from icing. Why doesn't Krispy Kreme run an emergency delivery service? I can't be the only woman in town craving doughnuts. I'm so desperate that I almost called up the Chinese place last night and ordered a boatload of food -- to meet the minimum for delivery -- just so I could get a couple of orders of those powdered fried doughnuts they have.

I take pride in being a strong woman, a warrior princess, but I don't know if I can take another 3 or 4 weeks of this. I'm feeling pretty wimpy at this moment. A birthday cake, or better yet, a multi-tiered wedding cake, would help a lot.

Y'all go eat a doughnut -- or a cake -- for me and have a Terrific Tuesday!

Some Music for a Monday

I felt SO great yesterday! I thoroughly enjoyed my day, but I'm afraid I vegged out when it came to taking the time to sit down and write something. Therefore, let there be music today. I absolutely love this and hope you will, too.

Serena's Friday Playdate

I have only one thing to say today -- TGIF! Oh, and maybe I have one more thing to say. That would be ... ouch.

Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy. You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself. Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal. You are most compatible with: A and AB Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

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You Should Get an Abstract Tattoo

Artistic and unique You're the most likely type to personally design your tattoo

What Tattoo Should You Get?

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Fun With Twisted Linguistics

I got my stitches out yesterday and the incision is healing nicely. I was completely nonplussed to be told, however -- two weeks post-surgery, mind you -- that the damage was actually more extensive than I knew. I broke the ball of my hip. Geez, you'd think they'd have told me that immediately while still in the hospital. Not only that, the veins or whatever it is that delivers and controls blood flow were damaged and had to be repaired. They didn't tell me that, either. But they did tell me yesterday that if the blood flow doesn't return to the area, another surgery will be necessary. Nooooo! They took X-rays yesterday, but apparently couldn't tell about that yet. I did get to see my shiny new pins. I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that if the incision is healing fine, the blood flow must be adequate. In any event, I'm house-bound until my next doctor's appointment on August 11. At that time, unless there are complications (and the unwelcome specter of additional surgery), I should be cleared to go back to work. I'm going to have to call my boss today and fill him in and make sure he's okay with this timeline.

My dog is giving me all kinds of sidelong suspicious looks, and not just because she never knows any more who's going to show up to take her outside. She's acting pissed because I stole her dog pillow to prop my leg up on. Well, what the heck, it's much more comfortable than a sofa pillow. She never uses it, anyway, so I think it's justifiable thievery.

I got some information in the mail yesterday from the Virginia Workers Compensation Commission and filed a claim online last night. However I decide to pursue it, my rights are now protected.

I'll be SO glad when this is all over and my life can return to normal.

Y'all haven't had any Words Gone Wild in ages. I know you must be itching to hone your skills, so how about defining these wily blasfomys that I've been collecting and saving up? Have fun! And Happy Thursday!

repeadedly
patholigical
cementary
chaprone
lutineant
tattic
semon
vice a versa
scereno
slinder
explanded
graditude

The Week's Best E-Mail

I'm going to the doctor today to get my sutures removed, and I expect to receive instructions on when I can do what. Hopefully, I'll be back doing what I normally do in another few weeks.

I had a good talk with my boss yesterday, and I do still have a job waiting. They're even willing to get me more comfortable furniture or whatever other "accommodations" I might need when I get back to work. My boss said he had argued with the Workers Comp adjuster about their denying my claim, to no avail. Now, he's going to compile a list of good Workers Comp attorneys for me.

The week I had my accident, one of the staff was on vacation and only two of us were working. When I got hurt, that left one woman there by herself. Yesterday, the boss told me that the woman who was working with me that week is out because her mother died, so now there's once again only one staff member. And the other boss's secretary who has been out sick for so long isn't coming back because now she's in the hospital again, this time with MRSA. They're looking for someone to replace her. The poor guy said he's starting to believe the place is cursed.

And now on to the week's funniest e-mail, which was actually an old one sent to me by Galen and still in my in-box. It's still funny, though.

Happy Wednesday, and Happy Hump Day!

How To Be Cruel to Old Guys



AARP EYE CHART

Serena's Big Adventure

Well, I'm going out today for the first time since my accident. I'm getting chauffeured to the grocery store and, hopefully, it won't be a big deal. It shouldn't be too busy early on a Monday, so there should be less chance of getting jostled.

On a less positive note, I got a letter from the Workers Comp carrier Saturday saying that my claim "doesn't qualify as compensable." Bullshit! I plan to call my boss -- or perhaps erstwhile boss by now -- this afternoon and try to get some direction here. If he offers no assistance, I'll be making some calls to line up a Workers Comp attorney. In my opinion, it's just wrong to deny a claim for a serious injury that occurred on my employer's premises in the course of my duties. It's not like I was running wild up and down the stairs in stiletto heels while drunk. Geez. The damned staircase is laid out weird and is tricky. My boss said that himself.

Whatever you guys are up to today, have a Marvelous Monday!

Serena's Friday Playdate

It's been a wild week for me. Hopefully, yours has been less eventful. In any case -- TGIF! Have a great weekend, kids.

Your Fortune Is: To make a long story short, don't tell it.

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The Week's Best E-Mail

First, is everybody experiencing the phenomenon of the vanishing comments? I get my comments via e-mail, so I know who's said what. When I've signed in to my blog to reply, however, they're not there. Or they're there one time, and invisible the next. What is up with that?!

I'm not getting my sutures out Friday as expected. The doctor's office called yesterday and rescheduled me to next Wednesday. The adjuster for the Workmans Comp carrier also called me yesterday and told me he'd let me know by Thursday if they're going to honor my claim. If they don't, I can guarantee all hell's going to break loose.

And now on to the week's best e-mail, this one sent to me a while back by Galen, because I know everybody could use a good laugh.

Happy Hump Day!

Senior Health Care Solution

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison.

There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.

And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you no longer have to pay income taxes.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

Maintaining

Yesterday was my first day "home alone" after my sister spent the weekend with me and went home Sunday. I did fine, was able to do whatever I needed to, and wasn't in a great deal of pain. It was the first day I was able to use my left arm without wrapping it in an Ace bandage, too, so that was good. My neighbors have been very kind about walking my dog for me and I'm going to do something nice for them the very first chance I get. I have someone coming Wednesday and staying for about a week who'll also be a tremendous help to me, physically and emotionally. I'll be going to the doctor Thursday to get my sutures removed and I imagine he'll let me know then what I can and can't do and how long I'll have to be off work.

In all honesty, I'm not sure that I -- assuming I, in fact, still have that job to return to -- want to remain in that job. If it's still there, I may go back and then continue job searching. I just don't know if I want to work in a place where neither of the two people in the office at the time of my accident offered to call an ambulance for me or even helped me up off the floor. Admittedly, they both said they didn't realize how bad it was. Frankly, neither did I. Still, when an employee has had an accident and says she can't walk, it seems to me that the decent thing to do is offer assistance.

I guess the only thing to do at this point is wait and see how things play out. For example, I expect to hear something today from somebody about Workers Comp. If I don't, I don't think it's too soon to start looking for a Workers Comp attorney. And I do know some.

You guys have a Terrific Tuesday!

I Got A Booboo

This is going to be very short, just to let you know where I've been and what's going on, because I don't feel at all good. Tuesday morning at work, I slipped on the stairs, fell off the next to last one, and landed hard on my left side. I ended up going to the Emergency Room because I knew something was pretty wrong since I couldn't walk or put any weight on that side. X-rays shows that I'd fractured my left hip and I had surgery Tuesday night to insert three titanium screws.

I got out of the hospital late this afternoon and, while I feel much better in my own surroundings, I'm in a good bit of pain. My neighbor, a nurse, has been kind enough to help me out a lot, and she and her son have been taking care of my dog. My sister's coming tomorrow, and another friend will be here soon to help me out while I'm laid up. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you that they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I obtained a walker, but I don't care if it does look "old lady." I'm scooting around quite well on it and can do pretty much whatever I need to, within reason.

I won't be going out -- which means up and down stairs -- for a while, but I'm doing okay. It could have been a lot worse. And the good news is that my boss started the paperwork for Workers Comp almost immediately. He told me this morning that the adjustor is giving him some problems about whether it is or is not covered, but he's telling them it is absolutely a valid claim and they're going to have to pay my medical costs. And he told me I'd still have my job when I recover, so that was a relief.

I'm probably not going to be on the computer much for the next little while, but I wanted my good friends in the Blogosphere to know I wasn't just vegging out. You all take care and, for goodness sake, be careful on stairs! I love you guys.