Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Week's Best E-Mail

I got a big chuckle out of this "forward," and I'm betting you will as well. I'm planning to stock up on Tide on my next grocery outing, and I'm going to stash it at the office. But you didn't hear that from me.

A Testimonial to Tide

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

If you have 21 seconds to spare before you go, watch this. I can't vouch for its authenticity, but it's very cute.


Anonymous said...

ah ha
haha hah ha
ha ha aha ha ha!


or, to an imperial roman centurion


your centurion name


× × ×


G-Man said...

And the Doggy's name is no doubt...Flatley!!

puerileuwaite said...

"If you're constantly preoccupied with getting bloodstains out of clothing, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem."

- Seinfeld (paraphrased)

snowelf said...

Don't forget--real friends will help you hide the bodies.


Serena said...

The Serenius is indeed Joyus, /t., that it's Wednesday. And Humpus Daus. Wishing you some joyus serenius as well!;)

It could well be, Galen. Their footwork is suspiciously similar. I thought he was mighty cute. The pup, I mean.:)

Seinfeld has his genius moments, Pugsley. And he's quite correct. I'm looking at this from more of a forensics perspective than laundry.;)

Oh, they will indeed, Snow. And it's a good thing, too, because these women I'm stockpiling the Tide for are heifers.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

I use Tide here.

Thus, remind me NOT to date a gal what's read this email...

Marion said...

I have to give Tide up many years ago. One not-quite-gallon size of liquid Tide costs as much as my monthly cable bill. What's up with that, anyhoo?? And don't even get me started on the Hefty bags. LOL! Nothing I own has a name brand label on it anymore.

But that is one of my favorite emails. I didn't know how true it was until MENopause came a knockin' at my door. My husband hid all the knives and I still can't find them....Great post, SJ! Blessings!

Serena said...

I think you'd be safe, Skunk, unless the girl was a homicidal maniac to begin with.:)

I use a lot of store brands, too, Dragonfly. Especially detergents. They're priced like they have gold in them! I never did use Tide; makes me itch. It's true that they hide the sharp instruments from ladies of a certain age. I finally found mine -- when I moved out. Now I won't have to put Tide to the test.:-)