Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Serena's Big Adventure
Do I know how to live large and have a good time or what? You bet! Here's how yesterday went at the office.
- I walk in, and nobody's there but Skank Girl's lowlife husband, pushing a broom.
- I find Baby Lawyer out on the porch talking on her cell phone.
- Baby Lawyer shows me the handwritten note on a torn piece of yellow paper left for her by Boss Lady, informing her that due to cost-cutting measures, she can now offer her only 8 hours a week, at a rate lower than what she's paying Skank Girl.
- I help Baby Lawyer pack up all her stuff and, after a few curses and tears, watch her hit the road.
- I learn that Skank Girl has gone to court with Boss Lady; it was Boss Lady's first time in court since her stroke. Wonder why she picked that morning to do it?
- Since Skank Girl is gone, I have to answer the phones -- and it's Monday, which means all the lines are going crazy at the same time.
- At the same time, I'm trying to move into Baby Lawyer's office, where all my stuff has been thrown over the weekend.
- They moved my computer, but not all the drives are connected and one vital piece of software is non-functional.
- I had in my old office 2 desks, a hutch, and a credenza, all fully utilized. In my new space, there's only a desk and a bookcase that's already crammed with junk -- and I ain't cleaning it out. Therefore, I distribute all my stuff (my stuff that I can find, that is) on the floor and in what few boxes are available. I don't clean any of that up or try to put it in any kind of order, either. I'm sure, one way or another, it's only temporary digs, so why the hell should I?
- The only place for my computer is this little rolling shelf/cart thingey. I have to get Mr. Lowlife to remove the shelf so I have a space in which to cram my legs while I'm trying to use the keyboard.
- Skank Girl finally gets back shortly before noon. She's wearing a new dress, one in which no cleavage is showing. I figure Boss Lady must have taken her shopping for something decent to wear to court.
- Now that Skank Girl is back, I figure I can maybe try to do a little work.
- The new office is hot as hell, and the window AC unit is putting only tepid air. Still, after a couple of hours, it blew a circuit and my office went dark. I lost the document I had almost completed.
- I went home too pissed to eat and too pissed to sleep and not focused enough to read. I drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, and stared at the tube until I could decently call it a night and pull the covers over my head.
And today, I'll get to do a lot of it all over again. Maybe today I can see it as a big adventure. And laughable. Although I suspect the joke is on me.