Friday, January 02, 2009

I Gnome It's Friday...

...and we usually play in the playpen on Fridays. But you know how I am with rules. If they weren't made to be broken, why on earth were they made? A pox on rules.

Do you know what this is?

It's a gnome! And what, you may ask, is a gnome? Well, there's the technical definition, to-wit:

gnome 1
1. One of a fabled race of dwarflike creatures who live underground and guard treasure hoards.
2. In the occult philosophy of Paracelsus, a being that has earth as its element.

[French, from New Latin gnomus.]

gnomish adj.

gnome 2
A pithy saying that expresses a general truth or fundamental principle; an aphorism.

[Greek gnm, from gignskein, to know; see gn- in Indo-European roots.]

All you need to concern yourselves with, however, is the fact that I adore gnomes. And (hint-hint) if anyone is inclined to get me a Christmas present next year, you should know that I find myself coveting my very own personal gnome.

Meanwhile, your assignment for today, which you have no choice but to accept, is to write me ... gnome poetry. I desperately need a giggle and I'm counting on you to give it to me.


dons_mind said...

that's so funny!! we've been watching, as we stop at flea markets and antique places, for one of those gnome things!! they're fascinating to say the least. i want it setting right outside our front door!!

good luck - - post a pic if you find one!

Beth said...

I don't have any gnome poetry, but here are some gnome songs that will give you a giggle :)

Skunkfeathers said...


I gnome he was there
when the sh** bit my ankle
and I punted him.

Free verse...

We had a tiff,
this gnome and me,
when he sez widda smile,
"I didn't mean to get short with you",
and I replied,
"you couldn't help it, ya little runt".
The fight was on...

Anonymous said...

this bit
of gnome wit


To gnome gnome gnome
  Is to love love love
      And i do
        Love me, too,
          Yes i do

ok, i'm reverting to witless now, but before i go...


¤ ¤ ¤


Serena said...

If and when I get my very own gnome, dons_mind, there will definitely be pics. I want a real live gnome, though; preferably one stupid enough to do my bidding:)

Beth, you came within about a gnome's whisker of having to buy me a dry pair of pants. I laughed out loud 'til I snorted. Thank you so much for those links. Who knew there was a whole Gnome Blogosphere?!:-)

Skunky, you've got it going on today. I love the gnome verses! Those led to yet more laughing out loud and ... near accidents.:-)

And the giggles just keep on coming. Thanks, /t.! You need to put a cover of that on YouTube. When I get my gnome, I'll force him to dance in your video. It'll be great! TGIF!!:-)

g-man said...

...What if someone was to give you an over-fed, long-haired, leaping gnome?

VE said...

You know what a Gnome lover I am.

Time for a parody...think John Denver...

Country Roads
Take my gnomes
to the place
They belong
West Virgina
Mountain mamma
Take my gnomes
Country road

Serena said...

Sure, Galen. If he'll do what I tell him and fetch me things, I'll take him. Oh, and he has to paint my toenails, too.:-)

LOL, VE. Ain't nothin' wrong with West Virgina gnomes - except that they might talk a little funny.:-)

g-man said...

Roguish little Gnarly man.
Guardian of yard and booty.
You aren't overly friendly.
But you are very rarely snooty.
They've been stolen out of gardens,
and they occasionally make it home.
And I'd give the world to have in my yard, a female, red-haired, gnome...:-)

g-man said...

Teasing again?...tsk tsk tsk

Serena said...

LMAO, Galen, but -- shhhhhh! We can't be encouraging rogue gnomes. I need my gnomes -- compliant. You can take the girl gnome but I get the boy so I can, like, get jars opened and my oil changed and stuff.:)

Serena said...


NYD said...

Hi Serena!
Just got back from some New Year's wandering and wanted to drop in and wish you a Happy New Year.

Like VE, I can't think of any poetry so here's a jingle. (Home on the Range)

I and a Gnome with hair thoroughly combed,went out to a party one day.
we got a litle too stoned on some good 'ol home grown. Then found out it was karaoke day

Gnome,gnome on the stage
With a microphone, beer and a "J".
Now it's time to go home,so I'll just pick up my Gnome. And say: "Thanks for inviting us,Yay!"

Serena said...

Hey, NYD, Happy New Year to you. I hope your New Year's wandering was fun. I love your little jingle. All these delightful Gnome Poems will get transported to Poetically Twisted as soon as I get off my sorry butt and do it.:-)