Monday, January 05, 2009


myspace layouts

I had to go back to work today, and I am not happy about it. I've been off for Christmas vacation since December 23rd, and getting up early this morning just about killed me. I got entirely too used to sleeping as late as I pleased, getting dressed when I felt like it, going without makeup (or underwear for that matter) if I wanted to, and just basically doing what I wanted, when I wanted. What I have discovered is that I have an intense dislike for regimentation and the requirement of doing assigned tasks whether I'm in the mood or not. I find that I don't care whether Joe Blow wants his divorce papers filed today, or whether Janie Smoe gets a hearing this month. Or this decade. I couldn't care less whether Lester Loudmouth's property ever gets transferred, whether Sissy Suckergirl's subpoenas go out, or whether Billy Badmouth's benefits administration company finds fault with the order I presented them with. All I really care about at this point is that I want my breakfast at noon and that I can wear jeans all day ... while I'm curled up in my recliner reading semi-trashy novels and munching Cheese-Doodles.

So come on, give me some clues about how to attain my desired lifestyle. What do I have to do to be able to answer to no one but myself and pay the bills at the same time? How sure a bet is this lottery thing? Perhaps I'd better not bet on making my fortune through gambling. How safe is it to knock off the corner Shop 'n Rob? What are the current penalties for bank robbery? Not knowing the answers to those questions, I'm betting a life of crime isn't for me. I think I need to give this some thought. All I know right now is that if somebody hands me a file with a "Priority!" tag on it today, I could go off with more fireworks than Mt. Saint Helens.

I need liberating! Any and all (at least quasi-legal) suggestions gratefully accepted.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS has some darling blasfomys for you to define today.

foreigh land
Litery Agency


G-Man said...

Two Words......

Sugar Daddy!!!!!

Bilbo said...

If I knew how to tell you to attain your desired lifestyle, do you think I'd be here now? Good luck.

Here's my first take on the New Years' Blasfomys:

foreigh land - a country where people are respected when they reach an advanced h. Sorry about that.

besmerch - belong to James Bond's cold war enemies club.

nieave - not only naive, but a poor speller.

Litery Agency - where poor writers get published.

vidio - why poor writers write poorly.

educaticated - see "vidio".

Mona said...

marry & divorce, marry & divorce rich men who can give you good alimony...

dons_mind said...

i heard it on the news this morning! all ya have to do is get your co-workers to start a lottery group - - make sure you buy-in for the first few months - - then start skipping or missing a few and when the rest of them hit the lottery - you sue for your share - after all, you started the group, you participated in most of the weekly deserve a share!!!! ta-da.......

Serena said...

But Galen, can a lady who's practically old enough to be a Sugar Mama get herself a Sugar Daddy?:-)

Now that you mention it, Bilbo, if you knew the magic formula, of course you'd be doing it yourself! Funny blasfomy definitions. LOL.:)

That ain't gonna happen, Mona. Next?:-)

Now, that sounds like a workable plan, Don. I'm going to look into that.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Well, Serena, seeking 'liberation' myself, I came close this past Saturday night. When I checked my Powerball number on Sunday morning, I came tantalizingly close...only missed winning the big 'un by having six numbers, none of which matched ;)

So I drug my regimented butt off to work at 4am LOL....

Serena said...

Dang, Skunk, you only missed it by 6?! Oh, well, you're probably better off. If you'd won the jackpot, those Russian brides would have been all over you. I, BTW, am happy to report that my regimented butt survived the day.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Ah, but the Russian bride scammers wouldn't a knowd it wuz ol' Skunk; they know me by three other names ;)

Mona said...

Well, what about marrying a loaded octogenarian suffering from a terminal illness , who would leave you an empire in ,say, within one week's time!

foreigh land : Eighth continent discovered

besmerch : Best from the merchant navy

Litery Agency : the agency which litters around

nieave : a simple bird

vidio : the idiosyncrasy of Indians ( who pronounce W as V)

educaticated : educated in the art of being catty

NYD said...

Another two words: Government Bailout!

Serena said...

Yeah, there is that, Skunk. I guess you're safe.:)

Nope, not that, either, Mona. LOL. Good job on your words.:)

Where do I get in line for my bailout, NYD?:)