Monday, January 05, 2009
I had to go back to work today, and I am not happy about it. I've been off for Christmas vacation since December 23rd, and getting up early this morning just about killed me. I got entirely too used to sleeping as late as I pleased, getting dressed when I felt like it, going without makeup (or underwear for that matter) if I wanted to, and just basically doing what I wanted, when I wanted. What I have discovered is that I have an intense dislike for regimentation and the requirement of doing assigned tasks whether I'm in the mood or not. I find that I don't care whether Joe Blow wants his divorce papers filed today, or whether Janie Smoe gets a hearing this month. Or this decade. I couldn't care less whether Lester Loudmouth's property ever gets transferred, whether Sissy Suckergirl's subpoenas go out, or whether Billy Badmouth's benefits administration company finds fault with the order I presented them with. All I really care about at this point is that I want my breakfast at noon and that I can wear jeans all day ... while I'm curled up in my recliner reading semi-trashy novels and munching Cheese-Doodles.
So come on, give me some clues about how to attain my desired lifestyle. What do I have to do to be able to answer to no one but myself and pay the bills at the same time? How sure a bet is this lottery thing? Perhaps I'd better not bet on making my fortune through gambling. How safe is it to knock off the corner Shop 'n Rob? What are the current penalties for bank robbery? Not knowing the answers to those questions, I'm betting a life of crime isn't for me. I think I need to give this some thought. All I know right now is that if somebody hands me a file with a "Priority!" tag on it today, I could go off with more fireworks than Mt. Saint Helens.
I need liberating! Any and all (at least quasi-legal) suggestions gratefully accepted.
TWISTED LINGUISTICS has some darling blasfomys for you to define today.