Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gunning for the Moon

Glitter Symbols -
Tomorrow night, the moon is full. Not that its imminence bothers me in the least. Why should it? I've been feeling the effects for days now. Things that I'd normally shrug off have been crawling all over me. I'm touchy, feeling hormonal, and am just downright peevish. I'm in one of those moods where if anybody dares to look at me cross-eyed, I'd just as soon slap them. And I am not a slapper. I know the moon is to blame, so there's no point in trying to convince me otherwise. What else could it be? It's up there, it's blindingly bright, it's all puffed up and full of itself, and it's looking down and sneering at all the havoc. Honestly -- and I haven't researched this at all but am thinking somebody should -- it wouldn't surprise me a bit to learn that every major flood, fire, earthquake, tsunami, cat fight, vehicular collision, structural collapse, Saturday night shooting, economic cataclysm, and/or schism in civilization in the entire history of the world has occurred under a full moon.

I'm making you a little proposition. You shoot down that smirking full moon and bring me the body and I will promise you -- anything! Of course, if there's a full moon at the time, I might not deliver on the promise, but you'll just have to play the odds there.

Meanwhile, perhaps the calming influence of a little offbeat music is in order.

We might as well torment a few blasfomys today while we're at it. Here's my take on them. What's yours?

embarisment - Consequences of appearing bare in public.

my firend - I think this is code for "my ass is on fire."

purebread dog - Rolling a dog in dough and trying to coax him into the oven; a felony in many states.

spay and newter - Something to do with the breeding of newts, I think.

woory - The art of wooing.

matabolism - Blood clots which occur in hyperactive matadors.


Anonymous said...

that explains
these hairy palms

or not


¤ ¤ ¤


Skunkfeathers said...

Sorry, Serena...I set up one of Bonco's BugaBOOMs to try and take it out, but it hasn't got the range. And no time to adapt Bonco's ICPR* (still under development) to deal with the rogue Moon. But I'll keep 'em after it fer ye!

* InterCelestial Planetary Renovator, guaranteed to reduce a full moon, or your money back (still working out the Disclaimer)

VE said...

But if you take out the moon...where will we get all our cheese?

g-man said...

We all have Dirty Little Secrets Sherry. Sometimes it's very hard to keep things quiet. It makes you want to EXPLODE!!!
A good cry helps.
Chocolate AND Ice Cream at times.
A careing shoulder.....
A box of smiles?
Move to a different Solar System?

Serena said...

Hairy palms plaguing you, /t.? Thank goodness werewolves are popular this year.:-)

The InterCelestial Planetary Renovator sounds promising, Skunk. I'm a little worried about the disclaimer, though. This wasn't invented by one of those Russian brides, was it?:-)

You don't watch much TV, do you, VE? The cheese will come from happy California cows, of course! Who wants nasty old moon cheese, anyway?:-)

My only problem with moving to a different solar system, Galen, is that they have ... moons. Now, if somebody could promise me they were chocolate moons, I'd consider it. 'Til then, the reward offer stands. Somebody shoot that sucker down!:)

Hale McKay said...

I've noticed the last three days that I'm seeing more and more careless, reckless drivers on the roads - even in city driving. So with a full moon tomorrow - dies that mean all those people have just been practicing?


Serena said...

Yes, Mike, that's exactly what it means. After all that practice, you can just imagine what's going to happen tonight unless somebody shoots the instigator.:-)