It's Only Words

This is what I look like in the mornings before I go to work. Frightening, isn't it?

It's too hot to even think about doing anything outside so I've been holed up in AC behind closed doors both at home and at work for several days now. The only thing I'm wearing is COOL. If it needs ironing, forget about it. Shoes that have to be worn with hose, forget about 'em. Long, leisurely walks for the dog -- unh-unh, ain't happening. Not that she seems to mind. She's a pretty bright little dog, and she doesn't want to venture out and power-walk on these premature dog days, either. Neither of us has prickly heat, hives, or boils. Yet. It could be worse.

If I were in the mood, I suppose all this indoor time might be put to good use starting a new book. I'm not in the mood, though. If I were, and if you also were so inclined, one might ask, "How do you begin a book?" Maybe we'll talk about that a little while we're waiting for it to cool down.

(1) The first thing you need to do is figure out what you want to write and then contemplate (and jotting it down on paper helps tremendously) the characters and plot devices you'll need to drive the story. Go ahead and create your characters, and it never hurts to flesh them out a bit from the very beginning. Flat, wooden, one-dimensional characters can't tell a story, so make sure you plump them up pleasantly as their personalities emerge. By the time you have a fully assembled character, you should know everything about him or her, up to and including whether he/she is scared of the dark and what color underwear he/she wears on Tuesdays. The more intimately you know your characters, the harder they'll work for you in advancing your story line.

(2) Give your characters emotions, because those emotions will guide every action of each character. Tepid, blasé characters can't move a story forward with any kind of believability.

(3) Create a plot for your characters and then let the story write itself for a while and see where it wants to go. With a cast of good, strong characters, they will guide your story in the direction in which it needs to go. Give them free rein and trust their instincts. If the first few drafts miss the mark, relax. The first commandment of writing is, after all, Rewrite, Revise, and Rewrite.

(4) Love your characters, and I mean really love them. Fall in love with them. If you don't love them, they'll never do what you need them to do vis-à-vis moving your story from Point A to Point B to its denouement. Love them, and they'll work wonders for you.

(5) Watch your spelling and grammar. It counts!

At the complete opposite end of the writing spectrum, TWISTED LINGUISTICS has today's lineup of Words Gone Wild blasfomys.


Maddona - Angry Spanish woman.

wasteline - Trash train.

cutsomer service - Knife for hire.

stupe that low - Dirty, lowdown idiot.

reelly - Crazy about movies.

alawys
sharade
mental migit
i been marry for 36 years
how deer you?
matter of opion
critizing
entertaing
living legand