Meme Rules: You may answer the questions in the Comment box (in which case, please copy in the questions and supply the answers so readers won't have to go back to the post to see the questions), or you may port the meme to your blog and tag your readers if you wish.
**My Memes belong to me; however, all are welcome to use them. If you do, just provide a link back, please.
1. If you were a love song, would you be:
(a) Syrupy sweet
(c) Cheerful and upbeat
(d) A tearjerker
2. Would you be:
3. You would be categorized as:
(a) Rock n' Roll
4. You should be sung by a:
(a) Male singer
(b) Female singer
(c) Karaoke singer
5. When people hear you, they'll want to:
(b) Make out
6. For years to come, you'll be played at:
(d) Bar Mitzvahs
(e) Dive bars
Today's TWISTED LINGUISTICS comes courtesy of Rubber Corn Dog. It's a Craiglist ad for a limousine driver. I'd love to see the applications that came in. Anyway, here's the ad. Read it, and then give your interpretation of what it really is.
Apply only if knowelable, relyable,hard worker, for fulltime or parttime posision contact mark must have proff of DMV report no accendts or traffic volations.
The way I interpret it is, Mark is looking for a hit man. He wants to know that he can rely on his hired assasin and that he'll be able to complete the assignment. Poison is the preferred method of getting the job done, and he'd prefer that a chemistry professor with a driver's license apply for the job. The applicant should have no noticeable accent that would attract the attention of Homeland Security, and he should be even-tempered and not volatile and prone to incidents of road rage. This will keep traffic cops off his butt. If said applicant pulls this first job off satisfactorily, Mark will have plenty more regular work for him.