Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Word.
I love these! Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners were:
1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
And for our daily dose of Words Gone Wild brought to you by TWISTED LINGUISTICS:
disciminate - Disseminating discriminatory information.
freduce - Something freely deduced.
belive - Get up and quit playing dead.
assemilated - When one's buttocks are set on fire.
diesal - Fuel guaranteed to kill you.
disguard - Dis particular guard, as opposed to dat guard.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
I wonder if the Washington Post has ever published a book of these. They must have enough material for a book by now.
how long
has hale mckay
been hammering on
that nail?
¤ ¤ ¤
/t.
Did you submit any? I'll bet you could make the finals...
I don't know, Mike, but you're certainly right about their having enough material.:)
Seems like a mighty long time, /t. She-bop, she-bop... :)
Nah, VE, I didn't.:)
I love Frisbeetarianism. Brilliant. Hale has been hitting that nail for 6 years 257 days 3 hours and 23 minutes
I loved that one, too, CD. And I love your E. Fudd commenter.:-)
I know one thing, my arm sure is getting tired, /t.
If you'd quit trying to drive the nail into a Super Ball, it might stick ;)
Yeah, the Wash Post steals somma my material, dagnabbem... LOL
Of course, they think it up afore I might, so I guess it ain't really stealin'...it's pre-plagiarism preventive first strikes...
Maybe you oughta hire an apprentice, Mike, and give your arm a rest.:)
Hmmm, Skunkfeathers. Maybe we ought to look into whether pre-plagiarism is an actionable tort. It just don't seem right.:)
I think Mike should just get a nail gun, at least move into the 20th century. :D
I just don't think a nail gun would pack the same punch, though.:)
14..? What am I some sort of Yutz?
Barbara Lewis..
"Seems like a mighty long time"...?
Is "Hello-Stranger"
(Thats My informational Haiku for the day!!!)
...My baby ooooooooooooh!
I somehow don't think you're a yutz, Galen. Is that like a putz? Nah, I don't think so. Barbara Lewis! I couldn't remember who sang it, but I sure enough remember the song.
She-bop, she-bop, my baby, ooooooo,
Seems like a mighty long time,
Helllooo, stranger,
It seems so good to see you back again,
How long has it been?
Post a Comment