Monday, March 24, 2008

Word.

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I love these! Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners were:

1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.): Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n): A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

And for our daily dose of Words Gone Wild brought to you by TWISTED LINGUISTICS:

disciminate - Disseminating discriminatory information.

freduce - Something freely deduced.

belive - Get up and quit playing dead.

assemilated - When one's buttocks are set on fire.

diesal - Fuel guaranteed to kill you.

disguard - Dis particular guard, as opposed to dat guard.

15 comments:

Hale McKay said...

I wonder if the Washington Post has ever published a book of these. They must have enough material for a book by now.

/t. said...

how long
has hale mckay
been hammering on
that nail?

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

VE said...

Did you submit any? I'll bet you could make the finals...

VE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serena Joy said...

I don't know, Mike, but you're certainly right about their having enough material.:)

Seems like a mighty long time, /t. She-bop, she-bop... :)

Nah, VE, I didn't.:)

Corn Dog said...

I love Frisbeetarianism. Brilliant. Hale has been hitting that nail for 6 years 257 days 3 hours and 23 minutes

Serena Joy said...

I loved that one, too, CD. And I love your E. Fudd commenter.:-)

Hale McKay said...

I know one thing, my arm sure is getting tired, /t.

Skunkfeathers said...

If you'd quit trying to drive the nail into a Super Ball, it might stick ;)

Yeah, the Wash Post steals somma my material, dagnabbem... LOL

Skunkfeathers said...

Of course, they think it up afore I might, so I guess it ain't really stealin'...it's pre-plagiarism preventive first strikes...

Serena Joy said...

Maybe you oughta hire an apprentice, Mike, and give your arm a rest.:)

Hmmm, Skunkfeathers. Maybe we ought to look into whether pre-plagiarism is an actionable tort. It just don't seem right.:)

Charles said...

I think Mike should just get a nail gun, at least move into the 20th century. :D

Serena Joy said...

I just don't think a nail gun would pack the same punch, though.:)

G-Man said...

14..? What am I some sort of Yutz?

Barbara Lewis..
"Seems like a mighty long time"...?
Is "Hello-Stranger"



(Thats My informational Haiku for the day!!!)

...My baby ooooooooooooh!

Serena Joy said...

I somehow don't think you're a yutz, Galen. Is that like a putz? Nah, I don't think so. Barbara Lewis! I couldn't remember who sang it, but I sure enough remember the song.

She-bop, she-bop, my baby, ooooooo,
Seems like a mighty long time,
Helllooo, stranger,
It seems so good to see you back again,
How long has it been?