Thursday, March 06, 2008

Dingo-Bingo Joy



It's been one of those weeks, replete with ups and downs. Thankfully, I have one constant I can always lean on and count on to keep me on an even keel, no matter what. Otherwise, by today I'd probably have been hit in the head by falling bricks, knocked into the street, run over by a laundry truck, tossed to the gutter by the careless street sweeper playing Bingo on his BlackBerry, and eaten by dingos. Maybe a passing ambulance would pick up what's left before it spontaneously combusts. Maybe not.

Yeah. It hasn't exactly been a propitious week and now, nearing week's end, I find myself in a teensy bit of a state. But I'm not worried. No, not I! I may not have a degree in Zoology and maybe I'm not going clubbing with Dr. Doolittle tonight, but I am savvy enough to remember that music has charms to soothe a savage breast. I feel like jamming to some Pink Floyd at top volume, but that would be unseemly. There are, after all, other people with delicate sensibilities around. Mmm-hmm, sure. So, I'll give this a go and see how quickly it can calm me. I don't have a stop-watch, but I'll know. Any little thing I can do to refresh my equanimity, I'm all for it. Easter is coming, you know. I must be ready for the annual Great Peeps Hunt.



We have Words Gone Wild today, and here's what we're going to do with them. You are requested to use them in a very, very short little story. Have fun with it and, I beg of you, make me laugh.

Your Words:

i am not a lawer
desverse
substancial
amulance
legitiment
drivle
conbenient
libe and slander
blantant
should not throe stones

16 comments:

Charles said...

He shouted at the top of his lungs at the pursuing mob, "I am not a lawer, even tho I am substancial. I have many desverse abilitititities! The blantant
drivle concok... made up by that man was just conbenient an' blantant libe and slander! I had a legitiment reesin for chaising that amulance, my dawg was missin' and I thaught that was the dog catcher! Little boy! You should not throe stones at me, I am a Bush!"

VE said...

Ok, I'll try my first ever attempt with a couple of the words gone wild:

Desverse – It goes in des poem to make des rhyme

Libe and slander – A vaudeville act that got overshadowed by Laurel and Hardy

snowelf said...

I HATE when I'm almost eaten by Dingos! I thought I was the only one!!

:)

--snow

Serena Joy said...

You've done your good deed for the day, Charles. Your little story made me laugh like hell. Much appreciated!:-)

And a darn fine first attempt it was, VE. You defined those buggers like an old pro. I'm still giggling at Desverse.:)

I know, Snow. Damn dingos.:D

Skunkfeathers said...

As speeches went, it 'tweren't much: Fiends, louvers, Romaines, lend me yore ears a corn, for i am not a lawer, i am a moonshiner. Desverse in mah trade with substancial amulence, i gots ta make muney enuff ta put lites an' sirens on 'em, udderwise they ain't ambulence and ain't considered legitiment hyarbouts, dagnabbit. An' afore y'all start ta consider this hyar drivle, ah think ya orta note how conbenient it'd be hyar ta think me up to libe and slander, which ah'll dee-ny as a blantant case callin' fer me to open up a can o' whupass on y'all. So y'all should not throe stones hyar, cuz y'all might mess up Hillary's plastic sergory, an' git her on a lamp-smashing binge th' likes of only Bill ever seed.
Ah thank yew.

Kanrei said...

The substancial amulance being shown to you by your conbenient can be shown as a legitiment and blantant case of libe and slander. Even though you feel you do not desverse such mean spirited drivle, I must remind you, although I am not a lawer, that you should not throe stones.

Signed,
Dewy, Cheatem, and Howe

/t. said...

not a
propitious week...

more a propitiful week, eh?

well, buck up, buckarette(!) 'cause your weekend is comin' and i just know it will be the most propitious weekend ever!

oh, the pink floyd sounds good, too!

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

Roxan said...

amulance-an attractive yet protective necklace that has been charmed with a spell to ward off ambulance chasing lawyers.

Serena Joy said...

Love your story, Skunkfeathers. You do sho 'nuff have a way with them there words. Y'all come back, now, y'heah?:-)

Kan, that's the best cease and desist letter I've ever read. You could take over my job -- but please don't. Anyway, you'd starve on my salary.:-)

Oh, yes, /t., SO pitiful. I'm pretty bucked up now, though, because my weekend has now started. And I got my PF fix which, let me tell you, smoked.:)

That is one powerful amulance you created, Roxan. Big mojo.:D

Sling said...

There is a place in this hardened heart of mine,where violins and cellos blend so sweetly,it brings tears of joy to my eyes.
Beethoven found it.
I love that stuff!

Serena Joy said...

It is beautiful, isn't it, Sling? Even the title is lovely -- Ode to Joy. Ooooommmmmm. I'm glad you enjoyed it.:)

puerileuwaite said...

I'm hoping the annual Great Peeps Hunt has something to do with rewarding the creepiest voyeur.

Corn Dog said...

I'm lower than a lawer.

Serena Joy said...

Puggy, I reward my best voyeurs VERY well. I don't share Peeps with 'em, though.:)

CD, you're not thinking of going into politics, are you? Say it ain't so! Lawers are law but politicians are lawer.:)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

SJ, you look absolutely DARLING! I can't even think about words because I'm plotting about how to borrow that outfit!

Serena Joy said...

Why, thank you, Greeny-sweets. You can borrow the outfit any time. Your "flapper" shoes would look adorable with it.:)