Friday, December 07, 2007

Miss's Mailbox

Dear Miss Begotten,
Do you eat meat?
- Just Another Anonymous Blogger

Dear Anon,
I am reminded that anon is an archaic word meaning, generally, soon, as in "I shall see you anon." But that's not what you asked. So, meat? Child, if I'm hungry enough I will eat anything that doesn't run from me. I actually prefer pastas and fish and such, though. Meat makes me nervous, and I'm already quite nervous enough, thank you very much. The older I get, the more I realize that eating anything with a face makes me very nervous from a moral quagmire perspective. I suppose it's possible that I could end my days on oatmeal and toast. We shall see.

Dear Miss Begotten,
What size dress do you wear?
- Interested

Dear Impertinent Person With Unseemly Interests,
Larger than toddler size and smaller than a muumuu. Much ado is made about size these days, as evidenced by all the animated skeletons you see walking around Hollywood. I think it's silly that so many women diet themselves into size 2s and 0s. People should be normal sized, with a little padding in case they fall down. What the heck is a size 0, anyway? Doesn't zero still mean nothing? Why should such a size even exist? That's what you should have asked me.

Dear Miss Begotten,
Why can't cars go as fast as airplanes?
- Need for Speed

Dear Speed,
Because they just ... can't. There's a whole lot of physics and aerodynamics involved here, so trust me, you are asking the wrong person. Thank you for asking, though.

Shall we play with a few Words Gone Wild? You all have done such a good job with them this week, so how about you take on this batch and see what you can do with them?

pettleing freight
good manors
vise versa

GIGO grammar:
The last rejection letter I got, just done me in.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ___________.

Fill in the blank, please, and then tell us how you would use your gift.


Charles said...

contine - fork used in a prison shiving.
sectionas - divider of the gluteus maximus.
neathal - A fellow with obsessive compulsive disorder causing him to order everything.
pettleing freight - shipped flowers
good manors - the best places to stay.
vise versa - clamping device that gets tighter the more you loosen it.
withdrawl - how the Southerners talk.
partrial - jury determination of the correct number of strokes for a particular hole.
mistatkes - a European dumpling?

GIGO grammar:
The last rejection letter I got, just done me in. How I'm feeling.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me nothing. I'm using it as I write this.

NYD said...

Cars can go as fast as airplanes. Sometimes they can go faster. They just don't have wings so they have some difficuly getting airborn except in really bad Hollywood movies and TV shows.

Serena Joy said...

Charles, that is a rocking good crop of definitions! Every one is just perfect.:) Please forgive me for LOL at your 2nd day gift. Its very drollness just made me bust out giggling.:-)

Seriously, NYD? Clearly, I need a refresher course in this stuff. I may have to start calling upon you to stand in as Mr. Begotten on some of these questions.:)

VE said...

I think cars don't go faster because they're always waiting at a red light...

Charles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charles said...

Red lights always mean trouble. Red light on a traffic light, trouble.
Flashing Red lights behind you, trouble. Red light district, trouble.
Make mine the K mart blue light special. I can pass that one.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two ROOMBA leaf vacs (and an automatic self-cleaning bathroom!).

I plan to charge up my outdoor ROOMBA and put it in the yard, drinking hot toddies on the porch as it sucks all the leaves off my lawn and puts them neatly into bags on the curb.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

mistatkes - tchotchkes that you wish you'd never bought.

Anonymous said...

contine: all that's missing is
sectionas: spanish modular seating
neathal: squashed caveman
pettleing freight: ?
good manors: nice houses
vise versa: reciprocating clamp
withdrawl: has southern accent
partrial: by trial
mistatkes: statistical errors


Serena Joy said...

You have a point there, VE. As do you, Charles. Damn red lights.:)

Another practical present for you, Greeny. By the 12th day, your house is going to be taking care of itself.:) That's a funny definition, girly.:-)

I'm loving your definitions, /t. I particularly adore "neathal." LOL.:)

Sling said...

Hmmm...Let's see.
Good Manors- Large homes in which the windows don't let the drafts in.
Vice versa- Lyrical prose uttered while having ones head squeezed by a mechanical device.
Withdrawl- How southern girls spred gossip.

G-Man said...

Dear Miss Begotten..
Who is Denny Crane?

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

2 Hickeys stategically placed as to not cause any public tongue wagging!

Have a GREAT day Serena!
I know you will!!!

Serena Joy said...

LMAO, Sling. Your definition of vise versa had me snorting my coffee.:)

Good morning, Galen. For the answer to who's DC, see the T-Q&A. Hickies is what you want for Christmas? Good Lord. You must be a cheap date.:-)

NYD said...

Although I ain't as well versed in trivia as Mr.Knowitall, I am pretty certain I could give you a hand now and again. Truth is that there aren't many things that have gotten past yopu without an erudite comment snapping at it's heels.

Serena Joy said...

Thanks, NYD. Next time I get one that stumps me, I just might give you a yell.:)