Friday, October 19, 2007

Miss's Mailbox

Dear Miss Begotten,
Realistically, which is worse, the actual consumption of a fabulous Banana Split with all of your favorite toppings OR the angst of denying yourself such a treat because it's not good for you?

Dearest G,
Miss hates personal angst almost as much as you hate puking and she will go to great lengths to avoid it. I find that denying myself nothing goes a long way toward angst avoidance -- which is nothing like aversion therapy (which I would flunk out of). It is for that reason that I gobble down banana splits with as many toppings as the bowl will hold.

We ARE talking about banana splits, aren't we? Because, in truth, Miss has no qualms about indulging ANY of her appetites. She's been known to blow half her paycheck on books -- or shoes, cute sweaters, Gypsy jewelry, hand-painted skirts, paintings, ugly (in hindsight) statues, yada-yada. And then there are those esoteric things which cost no money which she will also embrace with gusto. I suppose it could be said that Miss's philosophy is, "If you want it, get/do it."

I find that just plodding straight ahead without analyzing it to death pretty well ensures an angst-free life. And since it is my fondest ambition to never be angsty (or hungry) again, that works out pretty well for me. I tell myself that if I want it, it's bound to be good for me. And usually I believe it. I think it's not so much what's good FOR you as it is what's GOOD for you. Wouldn't you agree? And how good for you that you dodged a bullet with that freaky weather last night!
Dear Miss Begotten,
Are there any horror movies you like to watch on Halloween?

Dear Kan,
Yes! I love a good horrorfest during the Halloween season. I adore movies that scare me without grossing me out, and there are lots of them on TV during this period. And I do have to see them on TV instead of the theater -- because I know they're safe; i.e., the grossest of the gory stuff has been edited out.

I like all of the 'Halloween' movies, as well as stuff like 'Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Exorcist,' 'The Amityville Horror,' 'Pumpkinhead,' 'Carrie,' ‘Pet Sematary,' 'Salem's Lot,' 'Scream,' 'Children of the Corn.' Like that. I CANNOT see stuff like 'Saw' and 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.'

All too often, real-life stuff scares me much more than any horror flick ever thought of doing. For example, Miss does NOT like Internet horrorfests. She think they be breeding strange and warped creatures with brains firing mutated neurons out there in the wilds of a particular western city (L.A., Compton, Bell Gardens -- like that). She say, "Be gone!"

Dear Miss Begotten,
Have you ever had a broken heart?
-Just Had to Ask

Dear Had To,
Child! Of course, I have. I expect the first crack in the old heart appeared when I was maybe 10 years old. High school is hideously fertile ground for broken hearts -- as you no doubt know. I daresay nobody escapes the hallowed halls of lower academia without a few heartbreaks under their belt. Later on, they come along at various times and with varying intensity. If you're laboring under one, baby, just know that they're survivable -- much more so than a myocardial infarct. I don't like heartbreak, but I do have to say it's preferable to one's own heart attacking you.

If you would like for Miss Begotten to answer some burning question for you next week, just send it in.

I saw the cutest bumper sticker yesterday. It said: COME TO THE DARK SIDE - WE HAVE COOKIES

Words Gone Wild were out in force today, running amok and unleashing chaos. TWISTED LINGUISTICS got them all off the streets, though, and you can all sleep safely in your beds tonight.

hillarious - A hilly but funny territory.

High pitched squeels - Sound made by squirrels trapped on electrical wires.

libaries - Bastions of libel.

webiste - Bistro for spiders.

genere - An unintelligible category of fiction.

one do need an editor - Damn straight!

once your work have went to the printer - Jesus God!

it may have a word of two that have been misspell - No kidding!

My instructed told me - I follow orders from my students.

I wish you good lick - How kinky!

agian - Getting old by the Agean Sea.

mistakes with gramar - Oh, do you think?!

a certin part - Half of a Certs.

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends

Just a little Halloween humor interjected there for your fleeting amusement. 'Tis the season. Apparently.

Your Unique Costume is Jeeves the Headless Butler

Off with your head!


Roxan said...

Your unique costume is shark attack

HEEELP!!! This Great White won't be hungry for long!

Serena Joy said...

Your shark must have gotten my head, Roxan. LOL!

Roxan said...

Brain Food. LOL

Charles said...

Alternative meaning:
hillarious - Like or containing William's wife.
"The US Senate is hillarious."

Alright, since you asked for burning questions...
What other self-sustaining exothermic RedOx reactions are there that don't involve the element oxygen besides sodium burning in chlorine gas?

Kanrei said...

I felt the same way about Saw until I saw them (pun slightly intended). They are actually rather smart horror movies with an interesting point of view. Original to say the least.

Sort of Saw Spoiler
The main killer actually wants the people to survive their "tests." It is unique in horror movies. He tends to take people who are wasting their lives (the suicidal, the druggies, the losers) and puts them in a situation where they can do nothing and die or fight to live and experiance life. I would say sit down with the three and check them out. There is gore, yes, and it is sick, but there is not as much as one would think.

Charles said...

I love the whole horror genre. Well, other than some of Steven Kings crap. He comes up with some stupid shi_. 30 Days of Night looks like it could be really good, but they are pushing it so much, that it makes me wonder. Usually the more ads for a movie you see, the more disappointing it seems to be.

Anonymous said...

only 12
more sleeps
until halloween!


VE said...

I thought "The Ring" was quite creepy. I always thought that certain parts of "The Shining" were creepy. And, yes, I did jump at that key moment in The Sixth Sense.

Roxan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roxan said...

They really need to put in some way to edit comments without having to delete!

Anyway-Japanese film directors have come out with some good genre horror, but it just doesn't work for American audiences when they use Japanese actors. The Grudge was hugely disappointing. Japanese ghosts are not scary.

I agree with Charles about King. Give me Clive Barker any day. I just adore Pinhead!
"We'll tear your soul apart."

Serena Joy said...

Ahhh, Charles. I totally missed that alternative meaning. Good catch! Holy Guacamole, dude, that IS a burning question. Miss will take it under advisement and whip up an answer next week. Unless her hair catches fire and her head explodes first.:)

I've heard that said about 'Saw,' Kan, but I still can't see it. I just can't handle extreme violence and gore. Conversely, I can READ extreme violence with no problem at all. In fact, the more hard core it is, the better I like it.

Indeed, /t. Are you ready?:)

I liked 'The Ring' and 'The Shining' and 'The 6th Sense,' too, VE. They were satisfyingly creepy without being gory.

I like Clive Barker's work, too, Roxan. How about Ramsey Campbell? Have you read him? If not, I think you'd like his stuff.

I agree with you about Blogger. There are several things they need to provide, like the ability to edit comments and the capability of blocking unwelcome visitors.

Charles said...

Yeah! The Hellraiser movies were awesome. I even thought of those when I was commenting, and decided not to mention them. Classic flicks.

Charles said...

I'm working on your last request, since Blogger doesn't provide it. I figure forcing a login, and grabbing the profile ID number will allow comparison with a list, (I intend on storing the list in Google's gdata) will allow us to have an open blog, and redirect the unwelcome elsewhere. Between that and IP blocking, new readers can come, but the misbehaved have got to go.

Serena Joy said...

Sounds like a plan, Charles. When you get it finalized, send me instructions, please.

Charles said...

Will do, I'll be posting it once I get everything working. I'd really like to make it into a gadget, so everybody can use it.

Serena Joy said...

Yeah! I'll use it for sure.

G-Man said...

What a well thought out answer to something so off the cuff..Another fine example of the complexity and brilliance, of what we have come to love as..
"The Mind Of Serena Joy"

Dear Miss Begotten...
Say you have to get to sleep eventually, and all you do is toss and turn till say..3 AM. It's too late to take any medication, what would YOU suggest that you could do to help you get some much needed relief?
Love your answers..xoxox

puerileuwaite said...

I remember my first broken heart at school. The girl borrowed one of my new crayons, and used it to write "I hate you" on my valentine. Then she broke the crayon in half and stuck it through to simulate the arrow. She was my first redhead, and I've been hooked ever since.

Serena Joy said...

Ahh, G-man. How did I know you'd get my fuzzy logic? You "almost" stumped me, but not quite.:)

Puggy, I'm afraid redheads do things like that more than is heard about publicly. Damn if that doesn't make me proud to be one. I'm sorry about your poor little broken puppy heart but, hey, it got you hooked. That's what counts.:-)

Camille Alexa said...

This is hilarious!

And I do have to see them on TV instead of the theater -- because I know they're safe; i.e., the grossest of the gory stuff has been edited out.

Too cute.