Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
SJ's Saturday Jam
Today, we're jamming with the adorable KT Tunstall. I have one of those dreaded Social Events tonight, which renders me in fairly dire need of some amusement. How about trading me a joke for the video?
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. Thinking nothing of it, the man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you okay?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. Kelly age 6
2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. James age 6
3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. Wayne age 7
4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. Kylie age 6
5 .A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. Billy age 6
6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. Millie age 6
7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. William age 7
8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.How do mermaids get pregnant? Helen age 6
9. I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. Amy age 6
10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. Christopher age 7
11. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. Kevin age 6
12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. Becky age 8
13. On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her ^~*+#! Julie age 7
16 comments:
I like KT. thanks for posting this and giving me a tune in my head for the morning.
You're welcome, Rick. Glad you liked it.:)
KT
is awesome
SJ, too
:)
Two servicemen in the chow hall:
#1- "We had our first jump today,and I was so scared,that all I could do was stand frozen in the door of the plane!
#2- "No kidding...Then what happened?"
#1- "Well,..Sarge said if I didn't jump,he was gonna F*** me in the ass!"
#2- "So...did you jump??"
#1- "Well...A little at first"..
Merci beaucoup, /t.!
LMAO, Sling! Color me amused.:-)
whats the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up in the morning?
goes home.
xx
pinks
ps...just so I don't get hate mail from all the blondes out there...under the pink wig...I am a blonde
Sj, it's like you and I have the same playlist! :)
I LOVE this song.
Happy Saturday!!
--snow
Love KT.
Sorry, don't have a joke to share.
LOL, Pinks! I love blonde jokes. I'm not a blonde, but I could be someday.:-)
Happy Saturday to you, too, Snow. I'm glad you like the song.:)
KT rocks, Kerry & Rachel. No problem about the joke.:)
SERENA!!! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE KT!, & my favourite is 'black horse & a cherry tree' !
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class
section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently
wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
Thinking nothing of it, the man went back to his reading. A few
minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose,
then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might
have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few
more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she
took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and
said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times,
wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you okay?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical
condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have
never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking
anything for it?"
The woman nodded. "Pepper."
That is a joke a for you
& thanks for the video!
Some more! CHILDREN SPEAK:
1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. Kelly age 6
2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. James age 6
3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. Wayne age 7
4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. Kylie age 6
5 .A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. Billy age 6
6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. Millie age 6
7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. William age 7
8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.How do mermaids get pregnant? Helen age 6
9. I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. Amy age 6
10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. Christopher age 7
11. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. Kevin age 6
12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. Becky age 8
13. On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her ^~*+#! Julie age 7
ROTFL! Thanks for the jokes, Mona. VERY amusing!:)
I hope you survived your Social Event, SJ. I totally sympathize.
I'm horrible with jokes, so I stole the one off Comedy Central Joke of the Day for you:
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''
I did, Camille, and thanks. It turned out to be not so bad, especially after I got a drink. LOL. I LOVE the joke!:-)
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