Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut
I try to pay attention to the wisdom of that quote, along with the axiom, "Be careful what you wish for because sooner or later you'll get it." Never mind that oftentimes when I get what I (think I) want (wished for), it turns around and bites me in the ass. I don't know who wrote it, but I've also always subscribed to the maxim, "You are what you think you are." There have been times when I've been scrupulously mindful of that premise and times when it seeped right through the holes in the sieve of my brain.
I don't pretend to be anything I'm not, not with other people. I do try to fool myself every now and again. As much as I hate to admit it (especially to myself), I can be flabbergasted and sidetracked and misled. I'll tell myself I can handle anything. I can't; not always. I tell myself that nothing hurts me. Things do, sometimes. I'll tell myself I'm not scared when in truth all I want to do is run and hide under the bed. In bad times, I tell myself at least a dozen times a day that everything is just fine and dandy and I am copacetic with that, thank you very much. I'm not; not always. There's no rule saying I shouldn't continue giving myself pep talks, though. Why not shoot for thrilled, chilled, and amused instead of dazed and confused? Sometimes I get my head handed to me on a platter, which neither thrills nor amuses me. All in all, I think I'd like to be a full-blown grownup one of these days, unafraid of the denizens of the dark. Let the dust bunnies have the scary shadow spaces under the bed. It could happen.
Do you all know Boudreaux? I love that ol' Cajun. Y'all will, too.
Boudreaux wuz walking home late at night and see a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty dollar..." she whispers.
He'd never been wid a hooker befo', but he decide,what da hell, s'only twenty bucks. So dey hide in the bushes. Dey going "at it" for a minute or three or two when all of a sudden a light flashes on them . . it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer."
I'm makin' love wid my wife," Boudreaux answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," Boudreaux says, "neither did I, 'til you shine dat light in her face".
full mof - Some other version of the ... full monty?
poeple - Persons assigned to papal duties.
magnificient - Extra beneficent.
ailmenrts - Things that hurt men.
yor words - Speech from the days of yore.
hyave - Hi-fiving with a Hail Mary.
*All of today's Words Gone Wild are from the pen of our "editor for hire."
Aw, come on, Land of 1,000,000 TWITS. You didn't get my point? And hear I done wrote it in good Englesh and everthing. Hand my letter over to somebody their whose gone past 8th grade. They will get my point.
My Feelings is Hurt
I would address this to Hurt Feelings, but alas, I don't know what feelings are.
Anyway to the point. Oh, that's right, there is no point. We are approaching 1,000,000 something or others and do not want to be bothered with you. Either order the book or cease to be.
Have a nice day!
I hAvE yoUR LeAder. hE is alive AND wElL. I wANT my cOntrAcT resCindEd. You Are 2 PrePaRe a rEleaSe wIth no GAg clauses aNd nO fUnNy busInesS. YouR instruCtions arE to send It tO me viA CeRtifiEd mail. GO alOnE tO the pOsT OffiCe. You ArE beIng wAtched. MaIL it anD theN Wait 4 fUrtHer iNstrUctiOnS. iF the reLeaSE IS satiSfacTOry, youR lEadER will bE rEleasED uNharMed. HunGRy and bUg-eyed But uNharmed. If YOu faIl to fOllOw aLl instRuctIons i wIll hAve nO cHOice bUT 2 foRce Him To reAD All 17,000 Of YoUR bOOks. He Will Then bEG soMeonE to sHoOt hiM.
Dear Stupid Desperado,
Go on and shoot him. I've always wanted my very own helicopter.
I'm telling him what you said. First, I have to put on my magic decoder ring. I don't want to miss any of the good cuss words he says about you. Do you even know how to fly a helicopter?
I Still Expect Somebody There to Meet My Demands
P.S. -- I just sent word to New Mexico re your whereabouts and activities. Just wait'll they hear that you conspired to shoot a man -- even a worthless one -- and steal a helicopter. Can you spell P-A-R-O-L-E V-I-O-L-A-T-I-O-N?
Gotta catch me first!
|Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 81%|
Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High
You've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off.
You are comfortable with who you are, and you have a life philosophy that you are happy to live by.
And you're always re-evaluating what you believe. Because you learn something new about yourself each day!