Thursday, April 26, 2007

Untitled

  • Sometimes when I get an itch, I ignore it and make it a test of wills. Can I will the stupid itch away without having to resort to scratching it? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some itches will go away if you refuse to give in to them, some you just have to do something about. Nose itches are the worst; they almost always have to be scratched. I seem to be unable to ignore toe itches as well.

  • Sometimes I'll see something written somewhere or another and think, "Huh? Are they saying what I think they're saying? They'd better not be saying what it looks like." Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but other times it might be a big stick with which to hit you in the head. Never accept cigars from strangers.

  • Am I too old to go to the prom? I only ask because I got some spam offering to sell me prom dresses at bargain-basement prices. I didn't go to my high school prom. I was a hippie kid who thought puffy-dressed, big-haired proms were dorky. Now I'm thinking this might be the perfect age to become a first-time prom queen. Give 'em something to talk about. Who wants to take me?

  • I had something else I was going to put on the list but now I can't think of what it was. SJ is diiiiistracted.


    ImageChef.com - Create custom images
    nobelmen - Males who have won Nobel prizes.

    porn sights - Stuff you shouldn't be seeing.

    formated - An especially unseemly mating habit.

    i'm curios - You are -- a collectibles cabinet?

    ImageChef.com - Create custom images
    Dear Disemvoweled,

    The CIA? Please, bring them on. We welcome the wonderful publicity that would bring, to have a book written by the CIA prin...um, published by Putrid. We welcome any and all publicity we can get. The more we are in the news, the more marks...um, authors that will contact us daily and the more they will buy their own books and the more money we will make.

    You will never stop us! Not so long as there is one uninformed person left in this world, we will never be stopped. We have crushed the dreams of thousands and have hundreds of thousands more to go. Get over it.

    Mondo Betty
    ___________________
    Dear Mondo PugnaciousAsstwit,

    Well, I'd say 'uncle' but I'd be afraid Uncle Billie would appear in front of me like some demon spawned outta hell. Therefore, I have no choice but to keep ragging your butt 'til you either do what you promised or drop dead. Either one suits me just fine.

    Just so you know, I don't think you want to mess with the CIA. They know stuff that would make your cult look like kindergarten. Not that I have any problem putting a bug in their ear about you, because I don't. And you won't know when I've done it. Bwhahahaha!!

    Bottom line, I be infromed and I wants some words printed on a nice pink cover, with a PICTURE, and you get it done pronto, you here me? Oh, God, now look what you've done -- you got me writting like a ship again. Baaaaaahhhhh. But guess whut? My dreems ain't crushed, not by the licks of you. Neener-neener-neener.

    Sincerely,
    Pretty in Pink
    __________________
    Dear TWIT,

    I have ran into a problem I hope you can help me out with. You're company published my book 'Whoops - Redfaced Wherewolfs' last summer. Then I applicationed for membership in Wherewolf Writers World Federation. Well they has turned me down saying that I am not a published arther and not elageble for membership. What? I am two published. I am setting her looking at my 2 free copies of my book. It has my name on it not nobody elses. I do not beleive this. So can you write a letter to WWWF and tell them I am to published and they have to let me join? I sure wood appriciate it. And thank you.

    Sincerely,
    Wherewolf Writter


    You Are In a Fantastic Mood

    You're confident, focused, and on top of your game.

    People are attracted to your energy right now.

    This is the time to go for it - you're likely to get what you want!

18 comments:

Corn Dog said...

Based on that picture from yesterday, I think you should order a prom dress. See, it's pictures like that that keep me from putting any pictures of myself up on my blog. You look gorgeous. If we went out in public together they would think I was your mother.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, CD. I'm a lot of things, but gorgeous ain't one of 'em. You know what we could do, though? Since I'm older than you, we could go to the poultry farm and tell the pissy pullet I'm your mother who's going to stomp her feathered butt. I could even wear my prom dress and combat boots when we go.:)

leelee said...

I didn't go to my prom either. I had broken up with my BF and no one else seemed remotely interesting (read.. I wasn't asked) The night of the prom I ended up going out to Dinner with a gaggle of cheerleaders who for some reason didn't go either. I used to party with one of the girls (come to think of it, I partied with anyone who wanted to party)..but believe me I was a a rocker/hippie chick and certainly NOT a cheerleader. We all went "down the shore" (a jersey thing) the next day for the weekend and I honestly ended up having the best freakin' time. I met people I didn't really know (got out of my comfort zone) and really had a lot of laughs. No regrets!!..ok ok enough about me...boy am I chatty today..

Ok so lets get a table together and some bargain dresses and combat boots and go to the prom...we'll have a great time!!

Roxan said...

I'll do a prom dress and combat boots. Sounds like my kind of dressing up.

Serena Joy said...

My sister was a cheerleader. She hated me and my friends. LOL. Sounds like you came out WAY better and had much more fun by giving the prom the boot, Leelee. I'm reserving a table for you, me, Roxan, and anyone else who wants to go with us. Shoot, we won't even need the boys to take us. We will OWN that prom. Pick your dress (not over $20, please) and lace up your combat boots.

Corn Dog said...

I'm all for this kind of Prom Dress and Combat Boot scene. Sounds hilarious. I went to my junior prom with a senior named Lynn. My high school principal tells me he died of a heart attack recently. I went to my senior prom with a guy named Bobby who had graduated from college. We were "going steady." He was so embarassed he took me straight home after the prom. I was so finished with his ass after that. He died from leukemia. I am the Angel of Prom Death. Whoooooooooo!

Serena Joy said...

I am LMAO, Corn Dog. I want the Angel of Prom Death sitting at the head of our table! Something tells me this is going to be a prom like nobody's ever seen before. It's about time!

leelee said...

OMG Corn you crack the sh*t outta me..SJ...she DEF gets the head of the table...

Yeah Roxan...lets do this thing!!

Serena Joy said...

I can see that this is shaping up to be a prom to remember. We're doing it, Leelee. Now we have to pick a school to invade and take over their prom.

Hey, CD, I forgot to mention that I've killed off a bunch of old boyfriends, too. Maybe I could be your Deputy Death Angel. We could rent wings from Victoria's Secret.

tfg said...

I skipped my prom, too. Therefore, I'd be more than happy to be your prom date.

Corn Dog said...

YEAH! We have a date - tfg. But you might die afterward. Are you willing to do that for Our Prom?

Serena Joy said...

TFG, you are one brave-ass man to agree to escort the Prom Death Squad. So far, you're a group date -- one man, four girls. I hope you can dance.:)

CD, we're just going to have to try really hard not to kill him. I mean, if he's nice enough to take us all to the prom, the least we can do is let him live afterwards. LOL.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

I went to my prom(s) with guys who were just friends. (Don't think any of them are dead yet...) I don't remember much, but that's because I didn't have enough fun rather than because I had too much. =)

Serena Joy said...

Well, geez, Greeny, if you didn't have any fun at your first prom, you definitely need to go to this one. Are you in?

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Heck yeah! How does tfg feel about taking...what is it now, six?...women to the prom?

Serena Joy said...

He probably feels pretty good about it, although he's perhaps hoping a few other guys volunteer their services. And he's probably out taking dancing and self-defense lessons as we speak.:)

December Quinn said...

Another prom skipper here. :-)

I do that with itches, too.

Serena Joy said...

Not to worry, DQ. Since you skipped your first prom, you can come with us to the Prom Invasion this year if you want.:)