The Thrill Is Gone

The Chippendale Dancers at their 30th reunion. The thrill is definitely gone.


The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong, baby
And you'll be sorry someday.

("The Thrill Is Gone," B. B. King)

Yeah, I think they were saying exactly what I thought they were saying, when I said that, wherever I said it. Whatever. Sometimes when one person is all happy-happy yuck-yuck, it just means somebody else got the shaft. You win some, you lose some. But ... the thrill is gone.

What the hell, though. Bite me. I'm going to the freakin' prom. And I'm sitting at the damned Prom Death Table -- where, if anybody messes with me, I'll be in the right place to take care of business. That thrill ain't goin' nowhere.

My ancient wind-up Timex finally gave out. I loathe friggin' battery-powered watches. I am hell on batteries and seem to have a knack for killing them dead in record time. They don't seem to make wind-up watches any more. I'm going to miss that faithful Timex. The thrill is gone.

Things come, and things go -- or break down, rot, become obsolete, give you grief, sue you, cheat you, get lost, fall apart... Damn it all, doesn't it just suck when the thrill is gone? Yeah, bay-bee.


yesturday - Think about it -- and you'll realize that this is not a word to use in polite company.

Sanquine - San Quentin alumni.



Dear TWIT,

Hellloooooo, up there! I done writ to you coupla days ago and you has not resplonded. Should I assume you agree with my position? Goody!

I'm scheduling a book signing -- you know, for that book that your slow in returning the cotnract to me? -- here at the home next week. Don't worry, you don't have to send no books. I got me a whole carton what I bought when I was raving sycotick. (I'm better now.)

I'm having billboards put up out on the road billing you as both publisher and sponsor of this here event. I'm not taking my meds that day. God knows what will happen. I'm sure you will here about it.

Sincerely,
Slightly Less Nuts Today, Thank You Very Much
_________________________
Dear TWIT,

Nobody never did answer me about whether you'd return a contract to a poor certifliable incontinent person. Meaning me. So let me aks you this. Would you sponser me to go on the Heraldo Riviera show about my book and your company and your bidness practises? He's that french reporter you know. Right me back and tell me if you will go my plain fair and even better if you want to go on the show with me. I think it will be grate fun for him to ask us both questions don't you? I won't have to rehearse my ansers and get them vetted by a attorney but I know you will so be sure and let me know soon so I can tell Heraldo.

Sincerely Not Yours,
Gonna Be A Star
_________________________
Dear Star:

Your language shows your idiocy. Geraldo Rivera is not interested in listening to you whine. We at PutridAsshats will not dignify this with a response.

Your contract is still firmly in place, in fact, your request has extended your contract by three additonal years. You will never be free from us, don't you and your cohorts get that?

Sincerely,
Don't Care About Authors Team
__________________________
Dear TWIT,

Hi how are you? I am fine.

I wanted to tell you sumthing. I have joined a cult. I know I said I didn't like being brainwashed and gagging on Kool-Aid and runned away from you cult but this is a better cult. And you know what? They are some pretty nice cult peoples and they told me to tell you they coming soon to kick your butt and put the feear of God in you and send you kicking and whinning to hell. Are you skeered? You better be. We got whine -- I mean wine. {{burp}} When we have had enough we are coming. Be ready. Oh yeah, as if. You got nothin'. We're gonna stick a appel in your porky leader's mouth and make him cry wee-wee-wee all the way home.

Love,
Little Runaway

Your Inner Color is Orange

Your Personality: A total daredevil, you'll try any thrill. You're easily bored and you prefer to be on the go. You in Love: You see love as an adventure, and you find most men dull. You need someone who challenges you! Your Career: Your ideal job is flexible, fun, and maybe a little dangerous. You have the makings of a private investigator or extreme athlete.

What's Your Inner Color?

Yeah, right, I'm going to be the next extreme athlete. Dumbfuck quizzes.