Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Baby's In the Hoosegow
In Pontotoc County, Oklahoma, a 6-year-old Jack Russell Terrier named Baby is in jail on an accessory charge. You heard right -- people jail, not the dog pound.
Baby is a medical service dog trained to detect epileptic seizures. Her owner, arrested by Ada, Oklahoma, police on felony warrants out of Missouri, has a medical condition that causes him to have frequent seizures. Baby is trained to detect the tell-tale signs ahead of time and will alert her owner. Jail officials can then give the inmate medication to prevent a seizure from happening.
Until Missouri police come for him, he and Baby both are being held in a secluded cell. Jail personnel walk and feed Baby several times a day. Officials say Baby and her owner will be transported together back to Missouri. I wonder what will happen to her then? Poor Baby.
In two words, why I will never commit a sensational crime: Nancy Grace. I know her heart's in the right place, but that woman irritates (and scares!) the living crap out of me.
longivity - A gift that keeps on giving, like herpes.
capture the intelect of it's readers - What the alien spy's true mission was.
a becon of light - "I vill haff ze eggs and ze becon, not crispy."
intresting - In the pursuit of trysting.
I like writting the synopsis of a book when I finish writting the book - I can't define this, mainly because I'm trying too hard not to pee my pants laughing.
I don't use any term lightly where PutridArses are concerned. I hope it caused a particularly nasty rash in your nether-regions, then! I'll give you a legitimate question, Jerk-Off! Out of those 10,000 emails you are getting per day, how many are complaints about your shitty little scam operation? Here's another one: How many of your supposed 20,000 authors have sold their 2.6 books today?
Oh, I'm writing another book, all right. You may get to read it, but you sure as hell won't be publishing it. It's a children's story all about the big bad Wolf Billy-Bob, the lousy loon Bobby-Bill, the outraged Buffalo Betty, and the little girl who caught them all in her trap. I think it should do very well! There's even a moral to this story, but I'm not sure you understand what that means. I'll have a nice day when you twits are hauled off the the slammer!
Hey Jessimo, why did you fire Shemp and company? Were they getting on your nerves?
Free at last
I have a question about your editing options policy; i.e., (1) you edit (2) you don't edit and the book gets fast-tracked.I've seen examples of both and, quite frankly, I don't see any difference. Could you please clarify? Thank you.
Dear New Author.
Don't take that tone with us. Why on earth would anyone ask such a silly question. If you would read your contract it clearly states the difference.
We continue to rip-off 30 authors a day. If all of them asked silly questions like you did, we would never have time to not edit you book, regardless of which method you choose. Glad I could be of Help to you today.
Happy, happy regards,
I forgot what name I am using today AST.
Oh, goody, goody, goody! I know who you are -- it's my favrite Janitor Boy AST. Woo-hoo, battle of wits! Now, see here, fella -- I ain't seed nothin' in my contract about no editin' optims. That's why I'm asking YOU. I've done looked at books done both them ways and I'm telling ya, I can't see no diffrence. Don't be givin' me that tone crap, now. I'm serious as a hart attach hear. And you better tell me I'm not won of them 30 you done ripped off neither. Who did you do it to? Anybody I don't like? Thass ok then. But reely I wants to no how i'm suppose togit my book editored if you don't do it. I gess what I need is sum resurrence that you think I'm kapabl of editoring it my own self. Pleas let me no cause I sure wood hate to thunk my book is all ready fatally dead.
Dear Not Sure:
Now you look here Missey, I am not a Janitor anymore. I am a general twit. Tomorrow I might get to work in accounting. Anyway If you can't tell the difference, then we must be doing one hell of a job not editing the books. To be Honest (the keyboard shocked me when I typed that word). You CAN tell the ones we edited, they are worse than the others.
Kool-aid JunkieAbnormally Slow Typist
p.s. If you signed your contract, your book is already dead