Serena Sighs

I was pretty darned pleased with myself yesterday morning for getting up on time with no fuss and no bother, thanks to a little trick with the blinds. I even smirked a little bit for outwitting myself. The chickens came home to roost late last night, however; i.e., that turkey didn't really fly. It was late (by the clock), and getting later by the hour. But you can’t tell the stupid brain anything – it was wide awake. And why wouldn’t it be? It knew full well what time it really was. Suffice it to say it was ungodly late when I finally got to sleep, and the alarm went off about four hours later. Serena got sandpaper eyes today, and it ain’t pretty.

Speaking of sighing (and smirking), I happened across this exceedingly bizarre curiosity and, voilà, here I am, pole-axed again. This excerpt is from an actual, honest to God ad placed by a self-described author.
______________________
My name is (Bubba-Boo) and I a man published thriller writer. My first book, (Bubba’s Big Booboo), was published by publishamerica.com.

As a potential bestseller writer, I would like to invest more time in my writing in order to become a well know full time writer.

There for I am seeking for sponsors or investors who is willing to invest in me in order for me to achieve my goal.

I am currently working on two new titles which I hope will be ready in the coming months. If you are interested in a partnership with an writer, please send me an email.

Thank you.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
~ Chinese proverb

Yes, I know it’s unseemly to smirk at people who don’t know any better. But – crikey! You didn't see the rest of this gobbledy-gook. He put himself out there with this gibberish – asking for money to support it, for God’s sake. That is outrageous – and deserving of every ounce of scorn that can be mustered.

And so ends this particular chapter of that “author’s” saga. I have only one thing to say: he deserves the “publisher” he got.

Looking at that kind of makes me want to run over and take a look at the Death Clock.


Tuesday With Twisted Linguistics

sinds the last time – This person clearly intends that this be the last time he does something bad. (But it won’t be.)

Did you had time – Crack-smoker asking someone on the street what the hour is.

I worte – That Compound-W stuff might help that.

addrersses - Female adders, often priestesses in snake cults.

5000 Dollors - A cross between a doughnut and a cruller -- and a hell of a lot of them.

gineapig - A hog that's been in the gin.

How skeptical are you?

You Are Fairly Skeptical

You're not the type of person who will fall for anything... But you do keep your mind open to all sorts of possibilities. You figure that anything could be true. After all, the world is a strange place. However, you're going to need some convincing before you can believe in aliens or reincarnation!

How Skeptical Are You?