In the Spring, I tend to get myself into all kinds of trouble. I get restless. I get bored. Spring is when I get the urge to … do something different.
It’s the season when I find myself mysteriously out of sorts and fed up with the stuff I’ve put up with all Winter. Suddenly, the mundane minutiae of ordinary, everyday life just seems overwhelming and extreme ennui sets in.
There are ways to combat it. Why, I could
- Buy something big
- Change jobs
- Get a makeover
- Give in to wanderlust
- Have a torrid affair
- Pierce my belly button
- Get a tattoo
There was a time (back in my misspent youth) when I’d have done something from the list, maybe all of them, without a second thought -- maybe all at the same time. Boredom can be deadly and its possible remedies seductive. I’m better now. With age, I’ve at least learned to stop, take some deep breaths, and weigh the consequences. Most of the time. Okay, some of the time.
I'm old enough now to realize that, quite simply, what we have here is a case of
Twisted Linguistics are much easier to think about. These were tracked down and handed over to me by my Verbicidal partner in crime, Hale McKay.
From a medical article: Heartworm is an infectious, life-threatening cardiovascular disease spread by misquotes.
From the 1979 film "Perversion," the medical school professor explaining basis anatomy to class:
"The heart has two auricles and two ventriloquists."
Finally - check out this claptrap of government verbiage:
From a Department of Health & Social Services report, explaining mobility allowances for the disabled.
"A person shall not be treated as suffering from physical disablement such that he is either unable to walk or virtually unable to do so if he is not unable or vitually unable to do so if he is not unable or virtually unable to walk with a prosthesis or an artificial aid which he habitually wears or uses or if he would not be able or virtually unable to walk if he habitually wore or used a prosthesis or an artificial aid which is suitable in his case."
Oh, by the way, the mobility allowance study was to determine whether or not revolving doors should be used in a military rehabilitation hospital.
Our tax dollars at work.
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
~ Chinese Proverb
How good are you at keeping your emotions in check?
|You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check|
Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.
You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.
But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.
Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.