Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Slinky, Springy Fever


In the Spring, I tend to get myself into all kinds of trouble. I get restless. I get bored. Spring is when I get the urge to … do something different.

It’s the season when I find myself mysteriously out of sorts and fed up with the stuff I’ve put up with all Winter. Suddenly, the mundane minutiae of ordinary, everyday life just seems overwhelming and extreme ennui sets in.

There are ways to combat it. Why, I could

- Buy something big
- Change jobs
- Move
- Get a makeover
- Give in to wanderlust
- Have a torrid affair
- Redecorate
- Pierce my belly button
- Get a tattoo

There was a time (back in my misspent youth) when I’d have done something from the list, maybe all of them, without a second thought -- maybe all at the same time. Boredom can be deadly and its possible remedies seductive. I’m better now. With age, I’ve at least learned to stop, take some deep breaths, and weigh the consequences. Most of the time. Okay, some of the time.

I'm old enough now to realize that, quite simply, what we have here is a case of







Twisted Linguistics are much easier to think about. These were tracked down and handed over to me by my Verbicidal partner in crime, Hale McKay.

From a medical article: Heartworm is an infectious, life-threatening cardiovascular disease spread by misquotes.

From the 1979 film "Perversion," the medical school professor explaining basis anatomy to class:

"The heart has two auricles and two ventriloquists."

Finally - check out this claptrap of government verbiage:

From a Department of Health & Social Services report, explaining mobility allowances for the disabled.

"A person shall not be treated as suffering from physical disablement such that he is either unable to walk or virtually unable to do so if he is not unable or vitually unable to do so if he is not unable or virtually unable to walk with a prosthesis or an artificial aid which he habitually wears or uses or if he would not be able or virtually unable to walk if he habitually wore or used a prosthesis or an artificial aid which is suitable in his case."

Oh, by the way, the mobility allowance study was to determine whether or not revolving doors should be used in a military rehabilitation hospital.

Our tax dollars at work.


Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

~ Chinese Proverb


How good are you at keeping your emotions in check?


You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.
You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.
But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.
Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

17 comments:

Roxan said...

***You Have Your Emotions in Check***


You are an incredibly stable and happy person.
Ever consider being a therapist?
You have figured out how to keep a positive outlook, no matter what.
You don't have an easier life than anyone else. You just have figured things out a little more.

I don't really suffer from spring fever other than the desire to get outside.

littlebirdblue said...

***You Have Your Emotions in Check***


You are an incredibly stable and happy person.

yeah, but don't forget cranky.


Sjoy, I think it's really great you chose such a peppy sign today to celebrate your arthritis-free state. Where do you hang that sign--the knee? the elbow? that little bit of the wrist-bone that always hurts on me?

MXI said...

I'm in for the torrid affair,I just like being helpful, but I have to be back at the psych ward 4.

MXI said...

"by 4"
Screwed that up, should read before I hit publish!

Serena Joy said...

I want to get outside, too, Roxan. Trouble is, once I get out there, I want to keep going.

Yeah, I hear you, MXI. My psych ward won't let me out long enough for the affair to get all that torrid, but I'm certainly willing to entertain all offers. LOL.

Littlebird, if a girl can't be stable AND cranky, I'm afraid we're both up Shit Creek. The sign is actually hung around my neck, mainly because none of the weight-bearing parts are working today. I've pulled something in my back, and it hurts like a sonofagun. Not so much that I couldn't sneak off for a torrid affair if Prince Charming happened by, though. LOL. Maybe I'd fare better over at your place, where the girls seem to be entering into a big polyamorous marriage.:)

littlebirdblue said...

Who am I to turn down a good offer? They don't grow on trees, y'know.

'Fraid it'll have to be a long-distance relationship, however, lived between the invisible wavy lines of cyberspace.

Serena Joy said...

Well, this is different. TWO offers on the table. Wow.:)

tfg said...

After all of these offers, maybe you ought to add "Start a He-Harem" to the list.

Serena Joy said...

I'm not sure one guy and one girl qualifies as a He-Harem, but it might get me a tax break. I think I will add it to the list, TFG. I'd much rather run a harem than redecorate.:)

puerileuwaite said...

This is way more upbeat than Schindler's List. So count me in as your "Project Manager". I'll need a copy of Excel and a visit to Walgreens on my way over.

Kanrei said...

I may be a bit weird (hold your tongue), but I love being bored. Boredom to me is the complete lack of anything to do. It means while there may be nothing TO do, there is also nothing you HAVE to do. I will agree bored at work sucks, but only because of that whole "trapped away from home with co-workers" aspect. Love your boredom. It loves you.

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.
You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.
But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.
Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

Pretty spot on in the good and the bad.

Serena Joy said...

Okay, Pug. I can get you the Excel, but what does a Project Manager need from Walgreens?:)

You're clearly better adjusted than I am, Kan. I can't take boredom for very long. I get bored, I'm going to DO something, even if I regret it.

tfg said...

I'd offer my services, but the best I can do is a tepid or toasty affair. I'm too old for torrid.

Hale McKay said...

(Sigh) I never seem to find enough time to get bored. Well, maybe in my dreams - I don't remember any of them so they must be boring.

Serena Joy said...

It's a noble offer,TFG, but hell, I'm too old, too.:)

Poor Mike. You work too hard. If I managed my time better, I probably wouldn't have time to get bored, either.

leelee said...

Serena...that video of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was beautiful...I'm not ashamed to admit...it brought a tear to my eye this morning..

sniff...

Serena Joy said...

I thought it was beautiful, too, Leelee.