Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Serena Sighs

I was pretty darned pleased with myself yesterday morning for getting up on time with no fuss and no bother, thanks to a little trick with the blinds. I even smirked a little bit for outwitting myself. The chickens came home to roost late last night, however; i.e., that turkey didn't really fly.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket It was late (by the clock), and getting later by the hour. But you can’t tell the stupid brain anything – it was wide awake. And why wouldn’t it be? It knew full well what time it really was. Suffice it to say it was ungodly late when I finally got to sleep, and the alarm went off about four hours later. Serena got sandpaper eyes today, and it ain’t pretty.

Speaking of sighing (and smirking),Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket I happened across this exceedingly bizarre curiosity and, voilĂ , here I am, pole-axed again. This excerpt is from an actual, honest to God ad placed by a self-described author.
My name is (Bubba-Boo) and I a man published thriller writer. My first book, (Bubba’s Big Booboo), was published by publishamerica.com.

As a potential bestseller writer, I would like to invest more time in my writing in order to become a well know full time writer.

There for I am seeking for sponsors or investors who is willing to invest in me in order for me to achieve my goal.

I am currently working on two new titles which I hope will be ready in the coming months. If you are interested in a partnership with an writer, please send me an email.

Thank you.


Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
~ Chinese proverb

Yes, I know it’s unseemly to smirk at people who don’t know any better. But – crikey! You didn't see the rest of this gobbledy-gook. He put himself out there with this gibberish – asking for money to support it, for God’s sake. That is outrageous – and deserving of every ounce of scorn that can be mustered.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And so ends this particular chapter of that “author’s” saga. I have only one thing to say: he deserves the “publisher” he got.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Looking at that kind of makes me want to run over and take a look at the Death Clock.

Tuesday With Twisted Linguistics

sinds the last time – This person clearly intends that this be the last time he does something bad. (But it won’t be.)

Did you had time – Crack-smoker asking someone on the street what the hour is.

I worte – That Compound-W stuff might help that.

addrersses - Female adders, often priestesses in snake cults.

5000 Dollors - A cross between a doughnut and a cruller -- and a hell of a lot of them.

gineapig - A hog that's been in the gin.

How skeptical are you?

You Are Fairly Skeptical

You're not the type of person who will fall for anything...
But you do keep your mind open to all sorts of possibilities.
You figure that anything could be true. After all, the world is a strange place.
However, you're going to need some convincing before you can believe in aliens or reincarnation!


Roxan said...

Answer it and tell him to let you know when he actually IS published.
I hadn't been to the PA board for awhile and I needed a good laugh, so I went. It was hysterical.
"I GOT MY DOLLAR!" WOO HOO. I just wonder if they send it all crinkly straight from their wallet or if they hire a college kid to iron it.

Kanrei said...

Poor Serena. I took a nap when I got home yesterday. I knew I was going to have a hard time falling asleep.

That letter is priceless. Why even post Words Gone Wrong when you have that letter. I would sponsor him returning to school. Harsh I know since I am no better, but I am also not begging for cash.

Serena Joy said...

Roxan, the editors (who ARE college kids), HAVE to iron the dollars. People frame them, you know. LOL.

I'm ready for a nap now, Kan. I don't want to give in to the urge, but it's one of those temptations I simply can't fight. I am sleepy.

Why post the WGW, too? Well, they're like Mt. Everest -- they're there. Plus, I think I've become a masochist. A sadist, too. What's the word for that? I still won't support hopeless causes, though. I ain't paying for that guy's schooling.:)

littlebirdblue said...

***You Are Very Skeptical***

Your personal motto is: "Prove it."
While some ideas, like life after death, may seem nice...
You aren't going to believe them simply because it feels good.
You let science and facts be your guide... Even if it means you don't share the beliefs of those around you.

And I'm with Kanrei; Bubba-Boo's letter was all the twisted anything you needed today, linguistically speaking.

Kanrei said...

I am working on three new titles.

1. The Ice Colletor's Guide to Summer Survival

2. The Autobiography of No One You Have Heard of Before

3. Charlie Loses Something

The third title is still under work. Once the titles are done I am planning to write pages to go with the titles inorder to become full books instead of just titles.

Please send me money to help.

Jack K. said...

As usual, you have come up with some very important stuff. I am sure you can hardly wait to send that aspiring author(?) lots of money.

That might be the fate of anyone who is up very late at night.

(Some day, I may just publish my comments without previewing them first. Did I mention I have dyslexic fingers?)

Make it a great day. You have helped make mine terrific.

Serena Joy said...

I know, Camille, my sister skeptic. This was one of those times when less would have been more but I was in one of those moods where more is never enough. (Hangs head in shame)

I am planning to write pages to go with the titles in order to become full books instead of just titles.

Please send me money to help.

LOL, Kan. Good try. You show me yours and "maybe" I'll show you the money. I might be interested in the Summer Survival Guide. High summer heat turns me into a total raving bee-yotch.

You're right, Jack. I'm so anxious to send him the money that I'm also thinking of adopting him. Then he'll have to do what I say.:) My fingers get dyslexic, too, and I don't worry a whit about it. It's still a great day, and back atcha.

tfg said...

How much will you send a potential besteller restroom grafitti writer?

Serena Joy said...

Hmmm, TFG. It depends on how hard a bargain you drive and how well you can convince me.:)

Hale McKay said...

Bubba Boo, yestreday I couldn't not right very swell but I always liked to rite and be a famous arthur.

Guess what? Today I are one!
Okay! Now that I've seen the hungry talent, like Bubba Boo, out there, I'm throwing away all my writing paraphernalia - I don't stand a chance!

littlebirdblue said...

y'all are reminding me of one of my favourite poems from childhood:

What a Wonderful Bird the Frog Are

What a wonderful bird the frog are.
When he sit, he stand almost.
When he stand, he hop almost.
When he hop, he fly almost.
He ain't got no neck.
He ain't got no tail hardly, either.
When he sit, he sit on what he ain't got, almost.
What a wonderful bird the frog are.

Serena Joy said...

I know, Mike. We are well and truly up the creek. There's no way in hell we could ever compete with that. There for I are braking my pencel in too and threwing out all my our paper. I shall nair wrote an other werd.

Camille, I've never seen that poem before, but how charming it is! Thanks for posting it. Made me smile.

December Quinn said...

I'd like to be a well know writer, too. Where do I sign up for that?

Because it's pretty slow going here in the real world.

Serena Joy said...

I long for that, too, DQ. As soon as I can find out where the sign-up line is, I'll pass the word along.:)