Friday, February 09, 2007

Thou art a votary to fond desire...

...Valentine accuses, and departs for Milan where he will soon succumb to passion of his own for the Duke's daughter.
~ From 'The Two Gentlemen of Verona,' William Shakespeare

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Why won’t you talk to me … I feel like I’m drowning,
You never talk to me … you know I can’t breathe now,
What are you thinking … we’re going nowhere,
What are you feeling … we’re going nowhere.

Why won’t you talk to me?
You never talk to me,
What are you thinking?
Where do we go from here?

("Keep Talking," Pink Floyd)

Communication is the key to romance, and many cases of love gone bad can perhaps be attributed to bad blood, bad karma, or … a failure to communicate.

What if Elizabeth Barrett Browning had penned, "How do I love -- er, loathe thee, let me count the ways?"

Romeo and Juliet could have saved themselves a lot of heartache if only they'd had a plan, and talked about it. Cleopatra could have staved off a wicked nasty snake bite. Ophelia might have learned to swim, Desdemona could have practiced holding her breath longer, and Lady Macbeth would have known to wear gloves.

YWhat do you call two birds in love?

YWhat did one oar say to the other?
"Can I interest you in a little row-mance?"

Words Gone Wild are suddenly lovestruck. All I can do with them is give them their heads and let them make Twisted Valentines.

This would be the raw material:

Thank you for spairing your time; as you have spoaired mine.
aranged marriag
They are running a pole today
wrecked my brain
quality stationary
i think she's patetic and discusting

My Darling Valentine,
I got my atorney to nagahied
Those who called you patetic and discusting,
I would recline with you any time on the Naugahyde,
‘Cuz for you my heart is lusting.
For My Valentine,
Thank you for spairing your time
As you have spoaired mine,
On our aranged marriag my heart pantomimes,
A falsetto anetham – oh, you so fine!
Love and kisses,
Dear Hot Tamale Valentine of mine,
They are running a pole today,
And I want to see you on it,
Put on your stilettos and dance, ba-bay,
And gimme a big ol’ love hit.
My Dear Precious Darling Valentine,
I kmnow peopel can be cruel weasils,
And it has wrecked my brain like measles,
But you are defferent quality, hot even when
Stationary. Wreck me, sweetheart, let’s make some sin.
Pantingly yours,
At the Faux Shakespeare open mic today:

A contract of eternal boredom, n'er mind love, confirm'd by mutual slapping of hands.

~Shakesnare, Twelfth Nite After Honeymoon

What's Your True Love's Name?
Your True Love's Name Is

Randy V.

Randy? Randy?! Is there a Randy out there? O


puerileuwaite said...

Well, I'm in a randy mood! (Why does that sound gay?) Does that count?

Serena Joy said...

Oh, yeah, that counts. I don't think you have to be gay to be randy.:)

puerileuwaite said...

Of course I'm not gay. Why did you bring that up? Why, did somebody say something? I'm macho all the way. Chrome and leather, baby. Does that sound gay to you? Okay, well maybe the leather does (Thanks A LOT, George Michael and that dude from The Village People!). But everybody knows that chrome is macho. Sheesh, I'm glad to put that rumor to rest.

Lee said...

"Antonio" is my true love's name! Wow!

"Randall" was my ex's name, never "Randy"..but.....

Serena Joy said...

I knew what you meant, mon Pug. Trust me, the rumor is dead and buried. LOL. Oooo, chrome and leather (as long as it's not on a Village Person) is mondo sexy.:)

So, Lee -- Antonio? Now we know what the problem is -- you need to move to Spain!

Corn Dog said...

LOL...oh man..great twisted linguistics on my wrecked brain.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Corn Dog. I'm not sure whether to say thank you or I'm sorry for your wrecked brain. I've become so twisted that I may never be straight again.:)

Scary Monster said...

Ah yes. Shall we talk about our love or do something about it.
And don't forget to wear a glove.

Especially you Pugsley. You randy little pup.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, dear, Scary. The words "love" and "glove" used in the same couplet scares me.:)

littlebirdblue said...

Twisted Valentine Beat Poetry
* * *

Beautiful one, you've all but
Wrecked my brain: POW!
I'm not in-defferent to your heavenly scent;
All weasils and
Quality; stationary,
Immobile, unchanging,
Fixed forever in my brain.

Some may say,"I think she's patetic
And discusting," but ignore them! Care not!
They are running a pole today in your honor;
The whole ten feet of it,
Nagaheid flag waving proudly atop,
Proclaiming to all peopel
The anetham of my Valentinely adoration.

And thank you for spairing your time and
My heart. My reservations are atorney-sunder;
I had some, yes, but you have spoaired mine:
What of yours, Love?
Do you still avoid our (d)arranged marriag(e)?
Say yes to me, and be done.


Serena Joy said...

Little Bird, I bow to your twisted brilliance. You have outdone yourself. Bravo!