Ugh. I have a headache. I hate days that begin with a headache. Maybe some of those voodoo moon rays got into my head last night. Maybe not. Sometimes a headache is just a headache. Maybe.
I cleaned out my purse last night. That’s always an adventure. Women, of course, are already initiates of the Order of the Mysteries of the Pocketbook and are familiar with the arcane enigmas which lurk within. Men, probably not so much.
I found what must have been dozens of tissues. I think it was a nest. I think they multiply in there. There was also a crumpled Nestle’s Crunch Bar wrapper. I don’t even remember the last time I ate one of those. There was loose change, and loose buttons. There was a small collection of pens and mini-calendars from various places, some of which I don’t even patronize. I don’t know how I got those.
There must have been several months’ worth of cash register receipts. I’m afraid to even think about totaling those up, since it encompassed the Christmas shopping period. I don’t want to know how much I spent. There were odd earrings and broken beads, a silver Christmas ribbon, and a gold bangle bracelet I was looking for recently and couldn’t find. God only knows how many stray Sticky Notes with phone numbers, addresses, directions, stuff I don’t want to forget (duh), etc., I pulled out of the murky depths. I threw them all in a drawer. Now if I ever need one of them, I’ll know where to look.
A whole little colony of free samples had taken up residence in my bag – everything from perfume to hand lotion. And a couple of stray ketchup packets. It’s a good thing they make those so hard to get into. Had they broken, I’d have had a hellacious mess. I found one of the dog’s squeaky toys in there, too. She wouldn't have complained a bit about a little ketchup on it.
I found a lipstick in the bottom of my purse that I don’t even remember buying, much less the last time I wore it. It’s L’Oreal #150, Pink Tranquilo. It’s pretty, and I’m wearing it today.
I came to work without any Ibuprofen, not even any stray, fuzzy tablets down in the bowels of the pocketbook, so I had to bum something for this headache. I just popped the two Excedrin Tension Headaches the lady down the hall gave me. I’ve never taken that before. Probably not such a good idea to take strange drugs at work, but what the hell.
A few stray Words Gone Wild have been rounded up and convicted of Twisted Linguistics.
prominet – Fabric for making prom dresses worthy of the Promenade.
gullable – Easily led seagoing birds.
synopsizes – Size DOES matter when it comes to your manuscript.
purblished – What happens to purple prose.
inpire - The best kingdom a bargain-basement emperor can expect to get.
marevelous - Truly fantastic female horses.
I all ready am - That's just somebody saying he's all packed up and ready to hit the road.
|Your Pirate Name Is...|