Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Relative Relativity of Time

I overslept this morning. Not by that much, but it seemed like a big deal at first, plenty big enough to cause a small panic. The alarm didn’t go off and when I woke up and looked over at the clock, I misread it. I thought it said an hour later than it actually was. I shot up and out of bed like the devil was after me with a giant pitchfork. My first thought was that I couldn’t possibly make it to work on time, even if I hustled. Thank God, when I turned on the light and looked at the clock again, I could see that it was actually an hour earlier than I thought it was. The Cosmos loves to play jokes on me.

We tend to spend much of our lives rushing about. We have jobs, families, clubs, and other activities which keep us on the move. We’re rushing even en route to our leisure activities. That vitiates some of the “leisure,” in my opinion. What’s going to happen to us when we’re 90 and the word “rush” is an oxymoron? Everyday life is without a doubt busy, sometimes overly so, a veritable whirlwind of rushing and logistics. With some time out and a lot of deep breaths, it’s not only doable but downright energizing (when it's not enervating us) at times. And it honest to God beats the alternative.

I’m thinking (because it’s always best to do that before senility sets in) of ways to fool old age and keep on moving in as high a gear as possible when I’m 90. I’d be bored to death confined to home and rocking chair, rushing restricted to how fast I could rock. I’m not really worried about that because I’ve always been a firm believer in mind over matter. I think that when the time comes, some of my genes will cover it as well. I have a distant cousin (actually, a cousin of my grandmother’s) in Savannah who, in her 90s, still puts on cute shoes and drives herself to lunch with her girlfriends. And I have great-aunts in their 80s and 90s who are fiercely independent and do what they damn well please. I think I’m going to be okay. I’ve had Bat Out of Hell and Bat Out of Hell II on my CD player this morning. I think that Meat Loaf and I will hit the big 9-0 around the same time. He may not be able to hit some of the high notes at that age but if he keeps on singing, I’ll keep on listening. Rock on.

In an addendum to yesterday’s post, the dirt’s getting deeper and the mud wrestlers a bit more pathetic.

O’Donnell: “You okay, Barbara?”

Walters: “I’m okay.” And, referring to Trump, “That poor, pathetic man.”

Walters: “He just can’t let go. We’re moving on.”

O’Donnell, referring to The Apprentice: “I’m happy to say, his show tanked.”

Trump: “Barbara has become a sad figurehead dominated by a third-rate comedian. I now wish she had not recently chosen me as one of the ‘10 Most Fascinating People.’ "

Trump: “Barbara is a sad case. This has revealed the real Barbara.” And, uttered in an ominous tone: “I know a lot about Barbara.”

Oh, my. This has now become a soap opera with a comedic twist. I like funny and I like a little dose of melodrama every now and then. I hope they don’t play this idiocy out indefinitely, though. One of them needs to put the other down in the dirt, rub it in a little, and be done with it. Of course, they’re all going to smell like swamp mud from now on.

We have a few mangled victims of Twisted Linguistics today.

suppossed – Someone who’s been dosed up with Preparation H.

blatent – A tent made from blanket material, or a blanket made from tent material.

consistant – A predictable ant.

payed – Laura Ingalls, suffering from a powerful toothache and a swollen jaw, came home to an empty little house and yelled out, “Pa, ‘ya dead?”

Do you trust your intuition?

You Are 80% Intuitive

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.
You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.
When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.


Anonymous said...

Better an hour early than and hour late. I woke at seven this morning. Couldn't go back to sleep and got up. Hell that's early for me. Usually stay in bed until 8:30 or so. Must be the weather.

Scary Monster said...

Me is astounded!! Me sitting here, right now and me is hearing the Twilight Zone music....
Me also woke up at a time other than Me usual.
Do you all think that maybe the planets are aligning or our stars have conjuntivitis?? Me gonna hop over to Southern gals place and see iffin she be havin answers for us.
STOMP. hee hee hee

Kanrei said...

You Are 60% Intuitive

Your intuition is often right, and you use it more than you may realize.
Your gut feelings are usually a good guide, but you need more to go on when making a decision.
You'll often check to see if the facts back up your feelings.
And when your intuition is wrong, you work to improve it for the future.

Thinking I woke up late is how I start most days. My alarm clock is a random number of minutes fast...usually around 30-45 minutes so I wake up never knowing what time it really is. The alarm goes off when my clock says I have 10 minutes to get to work. Better than caffine.

Serena Joy said...

If I didn't have to get up and go to work, I'd sleep in, too, Steve. Especially in the winter.

SM, I see a lot of the Twilight Zone. That could have been just one more teensy incident. Southern gal, by the way, says the problem lies in penis planets. Don't ask. If they get conjunctivitis at the same time, hoochie mama, look out.

I keep my clocks fast, too, Kan. When I wake up, I know it's at least 20 minutes earlier than the clock says. When I need to know what time it really is, I check the grandfather clock. Unless I forgot to wind it. Which happens rather often.

Oh, good, another intuitive. I rely on mine and it rarely, rarely lets me down. When I think a thing is true, you can pretty much take it to the bank. Once I get the proof I, of course, do war whoops.

RexZeitgiest said...

You Are 72% Intuitive

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.
You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.
When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

I KNEW I would score that!


ahahahahah....We should send Rosie and Trump to an island and let them stay there until they grow some kindness...

I hate waking up late. luckily I have great internal alarmclock and it rarely goes astray. Being on time is everything to me...One second late and I start to sweat...

Serena Joy said...

Ahh, Rex, another one who trusts his instincts. This is excellent. Hey, I usually have a pretty reliable internal clock, too. And I like punctuality in a person.

Let's see, we could send Trump, O'Donnell, and Walters to a remote island and make them play Survivor - Trash TV. Or we could make them kiss and make up until they all gag themselves into oblivion. God forbid if either of the women gets a hot flash or PMS, though. They could shave the Donald's head and sew his lips shut. This would be a good thing.

se7en said...

Clock? My wall calendar stopped sometime last July... One of these days maybe I'll get a new one.


RexZeitgiest said...

SJ, I think the 'kiss and make up' deal is never going to happen.....Both of these people have HUGE egos, regret is not in their vocabulary.

Kanrei said...

They are loving every moment of this and are probably calling each other the night before to see what the other is going to wear as they condemn the other.

JuJu Martini said...

Oh, I hate when that happens, when you wake up thinking you're late, only your aren't...are you are! That panic feeling sucks!

I think I overfed the pink duck...three peanuts and two slices of bread...but I'm generous like that. Thanks for dropping by Fresh Hell, you're always welcome!

JuJu Martini said...

Here's mine, 84% Intuitive:

Your intuition is so spot on it's scary!
You can learn a lot about people and situations, simply by listening to your gut.
And you've even wondered if you can predict the future at times.
Just be sure not to always listen to your intuition... someday it could be wrong!

Kanrei said...

I feel like the special kid in the helmet here. I got the lowest EQ score and have the worst intuition. I am such a....such a....such a....lemming!

littlebirdblue said...

***You Are 56% Intuitive***

What is my other 44% ?

I always keep every clock around me between 8 and 13 minutes fast, so I can never glance at a clock and say w/certainty, "I still have 11 minutes". Keeping myself guessing keeps, less late than I might be otherwise?

Well, I *am* only 56% intuitive...

Serena Joy said...

Oh, man, Se7en, don't you hate when that happens?:)

I know, Rex, the Terrible 3 have gargantuan egos. Kan's right, of course -- they're loving every second of this because to people like them, there's no such thing as bad press.

Hello, Miss JuJu. I'm delighted to see you. Thanks for feeding Pink Duck. Not many people remember to, myself included. I'm not a very good duck mama. LOL. Oh, Lord yes, those panic feelings suck. It sucks even worse when you panic for nothing. Wow, you've got great intuition, too! I do purely love Fresh Hell and will definitely visit often.:)

Kan, Kan -- ain't nothin' wrong with lemmings. Okay, so maybe they don't have such hot intuition -- which is, of course, not such a good thing when they come to a cliff. But we won't talk about that. On the plus side, they're cute. And listen, Roxan and I were looking for a virgin for this cult to sacrifice and we couldn't find a one, so we settled on a weasel instead. NOT a lemming. A weasel. Don't you feel better now?

Corn Dog said...

68% intuitive.

I finally got the pink duck to eat something tonight. He was never hungry before, the little dear. He choked down the last peanut I gave him though. I may have fed him too much. Hope he doesn't puke.

Last night I looked on the internet about the agrument between The Donald and Rosie. I don't think they are serious. I think it all goes back to the saying, "Any press is good press." They are not adept at arguing. Sounds like high school.

Rosie: Combover
The Donald: Fat Pig

I did go to Rosie's blog site. I liked it. In fact, I saw some video footage of her immitating The Donald's combover where she flopped her hair to one side. It made me laugh. So, I think she's ahead. Na na, Donald. You will never make me laugh. And take care of that combover. HEED MY WARNING! When you die, the morticians, have no clue what to do with that weave.

Serena Joy said...

Yes!! LBB, you're also very intuitive. I've quit asking what happened to the other percentage of me. The possibilities were scaring me. I see we're on the same wave length with the time thing, too. With fast clocks, I figure I'm buying myself a little time. It helps when I'm having a really sucky hair day and nothing I put on looks human.

CD, I think PD was choking because JuJu had just fed him. He's not used to regular meals. Hopefully, the puking will stop shortly. I just poked him and he'll still quack, so I'm sure he'll be okay. I think you're right about "the feud." They're probably eating the attention right up. Rosie's the funnier combatant, no doubt about it. The Donald has no sense of humor, always looks like he has a big stick up his butt. I'm just glad I don't have to be his mortician.

Kanrei said...

I've quit asking what happened to the other percentage of me.

That part is the Lemming in you. As the test shows, us lemmings have very bad intuition which places us in a bad position when it comes time to pay tuition as the plan to kick us out comes to fruition.

Serena Joy said...

Well. I wouldn't know. I've never had a fruition. Come to think of it, I've never had a lot of things. Maybe that's why I find cliffs so attractive? If I can raise the tuition for the intuition class, I'm going.

Hale McKay said...

THe bottom line - just think of the publicity "The View" and "The Apprentice" are going to get out of this in the end.

On TV, the bottom line is the rating points. I think both shows will benefit by virtue of Rosie vs Donald.

It is funny stuff - two egos not knowing when to shut up!

Roxan said...

***You Are 76% Intuitive***

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.
You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.
When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

I never get to over sleep. I'm up early everyday. Even on my days off.

Southern Writer said...

You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead.

Looks like we're the same on this one.

What is the point of setting the clock ahead, if you know it's ahead? To me, that's just a reason to sleep another fifteen minutes. Thank God I don't have a job. I stay up all night, and sleep when I feel like it. Of course, I'm poor as dirt, but ... never mind. I have to run off and help put stuff in the attic now. Catch you later.

Serena Joy said...

Lesia, setting the clock ahead is, I think, a psychological thing. When I wake up in the morning, I'm in no way coherent or grounded, unable to form the thought that I can sleep another 15 minutes. Besides, I did that in the "first" 15 minutes after the alarm went off. If it's earlier than I "think" it is, then I can fool myself into thinking that I've "won" something. It's absurd how easily I can fool myself.:)