Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Two Little Words...

Virginia Attorney General Bob McDonnell plans to propose legislation that would make Virginia the first state in the nation to require sex offenders to register their online identities -- e-mail addresses, chat room, message board, and IM user names, etc. -- with state police.

In theory, it sounds like a good idea. It is, however, probably disingenuous. Certainly, it would prove difficult if not impossible to enforce. Any person on any given day can have an unlimited number of online identities. Anyone who’s ever been plagued by trolls on their sites knows how easy it is for those of a peculiar bent to, hidden behind the anonymity of a computer monitor, create as many new free e-mail accounts as they want. Add to that spoofing (for which actual providers exist), piggy-backing, wireless public access, etc., and the odds increase exponentially for anyone to get away with virtually any online activities they please. Anybody at all can pretend to be anyone they wish. Oh, they're always going to get caught sooner or later, but they can do a lot of damage in the interim.

If a sex offender gets caught and is discovered to have not registered all of his Internet personas, that’s one thing. Some of them are canny enough, however, to create so many different layers of “identity” that they’re always one step ahead of the law. And once they’re caught and their online user names discovered, it’s a bit too late then for registration to have made any difference.

Law enforcement agencies are very good at delving into the identity of the person behind an online persona. They have to have something to go on before they can start digging, though. If, for example, Bubba Dunce, registered sex offender, complies with the proposed law and registers his e-mail address (bubbadunce-at-dummail-dot-com), it will do cops no good to flag and track Bubba Dunce – not when he’s already set up new accounts as goodbubba-at-hotmail or bubbadoright-at-yahoo, and so on and so forth. If only such a law would work, it could be an important tool in apprehending the perverts who prey on children. I don't see much viability in it, though, not when there are so many ways of thwarting it.

What shall we do with today’s roster of Words Gone Wild?

new yok
pimp of the wrong hoar
snish inquesition

We should perhaps twist those warped linguistics into something like this.

Once upon a time, there were these duffueses who lived in a dark and stormy land called Ominouse. Their self-appointed leader was a tall and skinny man with a horribel scraggly mustash. There were some placies they couldn’t go ceopt when they sneaked in. They did that one evening, sneaked in to a party they hadn’t been invited to. There were some real cool contrcats at the party, the type of guys the duffueses had no experience with. When the one with the mustash went to help himself to some beer from the refidgerator, he fidgeted a bit and wished he had taken a few minutes to reconature because he had no idea how to handle the contrcat who wanted the same beer. Hoping to sidetrack him, Mustash Duffues congratualted Contrcat Man on his glistening pompadour, to which CM took offense in a new yok minute.

“You are the pimp of the wrong hoar!” he bellowed at Duffues Boy.

“Ha!” cried the mustash. “I’m going to snish your inquesition for that horribel remark!”

When the fight was over and the dust settled, their fate was not in quesition. They were toast, and were immediately placed into the refidgerator along with the butter and jam.

Ha-ha, now that I know what I'm getting reincarnated as, I won't mind so much popping off.

Serena Joy is going to be reincarnated as...
A pop-princess
'What will you be reincarnated as?' at QuizGalaxy.com


Kanrei said...

There are other serious concerns with that plan. For one thing, I have come across atleast two other Kanreis in my time online. One is a gamer in Japan and the other is an American gamer. Both post on gamer threads under the same name I use for blogging. If these assumed names were used by these people for evil purposes, I would then be just as much a suspect.

No comment on what I am coming back as. Stupid quiz =P

Serena Joy said...

Exactly, Kan. It won't work because there are too many people with the same or similar user names, not to mention people deliberately impersonating other people. I could envision time and resources being wasted out the wazoo investigating perfectly innocent people.

Aw, come on, now -- what did it say you're coming back as?:)

Kanrei said...

My first name only- A siamese triplet sharing one brain

Last name as well- A confused possum

My online name- A wart.

Serena Joy said...

Heh. I think confused possums are pretty cute. But hey, picture this -- confused Siamese triplet possums with warts. You'd be one of a kind, dude.:)

Kanrei said...

But I want to be a superstar or something good. 50% weird should have perks.

Serena Joy said...

So go back and tell it your name is Dave Nararro and see what it says. LOL.

Kanrei said...

It said "Serena's husband" when I used that name....

Serena Joy said...

ROTFLMAO!! Damn, that thing's smart. I guess it stands to reason that "Dave Navarro's wife" would have to be a "pop princess." I love it!:)

Oh, crap, I just noticed my previous typo. I don't know who the hell Dave Nararro is. You didn't marry me off to him, did you?

Kanrei said...

Yes I did. A cheap clone =P

Roxan said...

I'm coming back as the fungus on your little princess toes. LMAO

Serena Joy said...

Yes I did. A cheap clone

Then you have to undo it! Clones suck. I want the real Dave.:)

Serena Joy said...

I'm coming back as the fungus on your little princess toes.

Rut-row, Miss Roxan. I think you know what I do to fungus -- and other pests. LOL!

Roxan said...

But before you do I will make your toes itchy and stinky. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Ha! I'll have you know my toes twinkle. They never itch or stink, thank you very much.:)

Roxan said...

Yes, but I haven't been reincarnated as toe fungus yet, now have I? LOL

Roxan said...

I re-reincarnated myself and I'm coming back as a "real" boondock saint. The patron saint of the toothless. LOL

Serena Joy said...

Roxan, what is this sudden fondness for fungus you've developed? And toe fungus yet. That has to be the badass of the fungus gangs.

And who are the Toothless People you're going to be the patron saint of? You didn't get abducted while you were in the boonies, did you? LOL.

We need better trouble than that. I say we give up fungi and toothless saints and hold Santa for ransom.:)

Hale McKay said...

Hiya, pop-princess. I think Kanrei eloquently said it all. Close or almost identical names could cause a lot of problems for a lot of innocents.

Serena Joy said...

Kanrei did indeed state his case well. There would be time and resources wasted investigating innocent people with similar names while the real pervs carry on as usual under a bevy of fake names.

I don't think they let you be pop princesses at my age, but what the heck. LOL.

Roxan said...

I do not know why the quiz chose to give me those reincarnations. And hey, when it said "boondock" saint I figured someone had to be toothless.

Serena Joy said...

Hmm. Well, the saint trumps the fungus in any event. LOL. You could try your "Irish" name and see if you can stump the thing.:)

Southern Writer said...

Very cute. I used both names: a kung fu star (I detest kung fu). First name only: someone's liver. Last anme only (which I sometimes use alone): cheese. And you get to be a pop star. Life is so unfair!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, my, Lesia -- Kung Fu Liver. With cheese. LOL!

Alas, Kanrei inadvertently married me off to some goober instead of a rock star, so being a pop princess ain't all it's cracked up to be.:)