Monday, December 11, 2006

Señor Santa

My holiday cards are done. Well, sort of. They aren't sealed, and don't have return address labels yet. But by and large, they are done.

And voilà, I have some wrapped packages. I did about six tonight. Don't laugh. It's a start. Did you know that Jose Cuervo tastes pretty good with Coke? I had no idea, but it does. I have some Fat Mama's mix, but I didn't feel like hauling all that stuff out. Plain old Coca-Cola worked just fine. If I'd tried a little of that before I started, I might have more wrapped packages under the tree. What the heck, I still have two weeks. Almost.

Suppose somebody tried to start a tradition these days whereby a pudgy old man in disguise who consorts with elves and livestock would sneak into your home in the middle of the night and leave your children presents. How far do you suppose that would get? I imagine the police would show up in fairly short order. I'll bet Dateline would be on the scene pretty quick, too.

And for that matter, how about creatures impersonating bunnies who leave your kids chicken eggs at Easter -- again, in the middle of the night?

Why am I thinking about that? I have no idea. I guess I'm just weird that way. Not as weird as some folks, not by a long shot. Do I envy the Evil Weird who walk among us pretending to be ordinary, regular people? Not on your life! Some of the Evil Weird irritate the living crap out of me. I don't know why the law won't let me shoot them.


Hale McKay said...

Some of our traditions are strange, aren't they?
...Ever notice that the younger the child, the more terrified they are of Santa and the Easter Bunny?

As for wrapping gifts - I gotta buy some first!

Serena Joy said...

This is true. I've seen little kids scream bloody murder at the very sight of Santa.

You -- you haven't shopped yet?! Better get moving before it sneaks up on you. I had a hard time getting started, but once I bought the first item, it was like I had a fever for it. LOL.

Roxan said...

I'm one of those former Santa fearing kids. Hard to believe, but true. Clowns scared the heck out of me too.
I've bought zero presents and written zero cards so you are well ahead of me. LOL

Serena Joy said...

I don't remember ever being scared of Santa. I guess I had enough other stuff to be scared of that Santa was the least of my worries. LOL.

Kanrei said...

I do not think the B&E would concern the cops as much as an elderly man asking kids to sit on his lap and if they were naughty. How about an elderly man offering children candy and toys? Santa is Aqualung watching the pretty panties roam.