Gawd, I’ve had a phone stuck in my ear all morning. I was about ready to throw it through the window before it finally stopped ringing off the hook. Apparently, our clients had themselves one hell of a bang-up weekend. They got themselves hauled in on everything from DUI to Assault & Battery to street brawling. Oh, and one tried to run down his girlfriend’s ex in the K-Mart parking lot. (We kind of suspect he might be a crackhead.) Nobody got killed, though (that we’ve heard about), nobody fed their spouse arsenic, and SWAT didn’t go after any of “ours.” Lord, lord. This stuff is kind of fun, though. I wouldn’t be happy for five minutes in, say, a corporate law firm. I’d get so bored so quickly that I’d be dangerous.
How messed up am I? I wasn’t entirely sure, so it was only natural that I should take a handy-dandy little quiz to find out. Now the question is, how messed up are YOU?
|You are 28% messed up.|
You are not messed up, which is odd because practically everyone else is. Maybe that makes you even more messed up than the others.
|'How messed up are you?' at QuizGalaxy.com|
We have some Twisted Linguistics to play with today. I think I’ll try to pervert them into something seasonal.
Bob lived way out in the back coutry. He wasn’t the dumest guy out there, but he orabably came close. He was smart enough, however, to know that the Winter Solstice/Ho Ho Ho Season was coming and, accordingly, he set out one day to see Father Christams and present his wish list. Unfortunately, either because of poor desiging at the swap meet where Old Man Christams was to appear or because the old man was laid up drunk somewhere and insenmsitive to Bob’s holiday wishes and totally not avaible, Bob was turned away. Startiung back home, Bob got more depressed with each mile he trudged. He ended up jumping into a poyund and freezing to death before he drowned. Poor dum Bob. They burned insenms at his funeral and mumbled some kind of weird chant that sounded something like O Oro Bably. Probably means "Shut up, Bob" in some odd language.
I got most of my cards addressed last night. Tonight, perhaps I’ll get that wrapping business started. The chances are 50/50. Those are pretty good odds. We shall see.