Friday, November 10, 2006

Of Buttheads and Bedlam

I got a lot of stuff done today that I'd been putting off for I don't know how long. They were not necessarily the tasks I'd intended to do, but tasks were accomplished nonetheless. And I'm glad of that. A chore completed is one I don't have to worry about (and dread) later.

I still need to summon my "geek" side sometime this evening and take care of some computer maintenance. I'm noticing a vast performance improvement, presumably because of some tweaking I did last night, but there's still a lot of stuff I need to clear out because it is without question slowing down my system.

First thing this morning, I had a Butthead Alert to deal with on my forum. That's always pleasant. Not! Maybe I nipped it in the bud, maybe not. If not, there is always other, more Draconian action that can be taken. Some people have to learn the hard way not to mess with me, I suppose. Some, of course, never learn. And those almost always come from the same source. Surprise, surprise.

Damn, reading the morning paper gave me a headache right off the bat. Apparently, a lot of people are buttheads. Fortunately, I've never met and will never meet most of them. What is with people who bandy about words like "honesty" and "love" and "integrity" indiscriminately, without the first clue as to their meanings? Why do lightning bolts not shoot straight down and knock them on their asses? Grrrr. There's a new Al-Qaeda audiotape out, too. In it, the terrorists vow that they won't rest until they (a) take Jerusalem and (b) blow up the White House. Lightning bolts have missed them. Shock and Awe didn't take them out. Instead, they seem to multiply and flourish and do whatever they damn well please. Grrrrr.

No day, especially a Friday, would be complete without a few Words Gone Wild. Some folks are for all intents and purposes immune from any kind of justice -- karmic, poetic, or otherwise. Not these characters. We know what to do with
Twisted Linguistics. We mete out the justice they deserve without a second glance.

through in the towel - We're guessing it's either a case of somebody running through a room dressed in only a towel, or a towel so ratty you can see through it.

decide for themself - This is, of course, an example of Gomerian Grammar, and the only thing to do with the perpetrator is to slap him silly.

contaghion - A game of Extreme Tag.

hoest - The farmer hoest his fields in the Spring -- and the pimp hoest his stable in the Winter.

yur - One of the icky substances produced by sneezes?

peple - Half-baked human beings who may become fully human at some later date.

fictionized - A word coined by an author who is truly a figment of his own imagination.

Hie Mom - The writer thought he was saying, "Hello, Mom." What he actually said was, "Go away, Mom." Hey, it makes a difference!

yous - This yous must have been soused.

tipps - Monies left on the table for very happy, slightly inebriated wait staff.

sometheing - Part of a song lyric, "Somethe ing the way she moves..."

weather they do - A Dr. Seuss description of meteorologists.

You just have to be innovated - Wellllll, this person is looking for something she's not going to find where she's looking for it.


RexZeitgiest said...

yur - One of the icky substances produced by sneezes?

I keep a collection of my yur in canning jars in the freezer.....Its a good summer time snack for the kids!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, gross! I'm never eating dinner at your house. :)

Hale McKay said...

Note to self: Watch out for any typing errata in my blog, lest they end up starring in a post by Serena Joy!

Serena Joy said...

No worries. This stuff comes from really arcane sources, places most normal people would never find on their own. Roxan and I aren't quite right.:)

RexZeitgeist said...

BTW, I am a GREAT COOK...Its the secret sauce...

Serena Joy said...

I think I'd feel safer coming to dinner when you're grilling something with no sauces. LOL.

Southern Writer said...

I see a classic case of intercranial rectal inversion here. Good choice for all the buttheads. They get on my freaking nerves, too.

Steve G said...

Without Butthead there would be no Beavis.

Serena Joy said...

Alas, they're everywhere, Lesia. We need to invent a good anti-BH force field. Either that or make up some tee-shirts and join 'em.

You're right, Steve. I guess Beavis and anything else just wouldn't be the same. LOL.