Thursday, August 10, 2006

Complete and Utter Blither Tonight

I don't really have anything specific to blog about tonight. It's been one of those sensory overload days, you know what I mean?

I woke up this morning to the news of a horrendous terrorism plot foiled in Great Britain. We need the cavalry, I think -- and not in Iraq. Surely the forces of the Free World can do something about kicking the butts of a bunch of wild-eyed extremist terrorists back to the Stone Age. This crap needs to stop. I like to fly, but there's no way in hell I'd get on a plane these days. The security checks would drive me insane and I'd probably get arrested and sent to one of those new secret prisons when my last nerve snapped and I yelled at somebody for getting entirely too personal. Ugh.

At work, I got into it with a deadbeat client and ended up telling him off. The good news is, my boss cheered me on on that one.

Thursday afternoons, I do errands. I was starving to death en route to one of my destinations and stopped to grab a hotdog. I think they gave me a helldog instead. I was about ready to hurl by the time I got to my next destination. Thank God, coming home and eating some ice cream fixed that.

There's no rest for the weary, though. I had a partial for my new book to get out this evening, and everything about the package had to be absolutely perfect. I really, really want this agent. If what I ultimately sent fails to impress her, I'm putting a bag over my head and joining the Salvation Army.

NOW I could relax, except ... I can't. I still have entirely too much to do. I need a personal assistant -- and a maid and a cook and a doggie nanny. I simply don't have enough hands.

I can't, of course, let y'all go to bed tonight without your daily dose of those wily, cunning Words Gone Wild. I picked up a few doozies today.

worst than -- Maybe, but warts are worse.

brick and morter -- If morte means dead, this must refer to getting hit and killed with bricks. The "and" is superfluous, however; the person simply gets brick mortered.

brillient -- It was a brilliant deduction, but ... wrong amundo.

positiong -- I'm guessing this is some weird position you won't find in the Kama Sutra.

relation ship -- This must be a boat docked off an island prison, used for conjugal visits.

extention -- Ex meaning from, this may mean removing oneself from a tent -- "From the tent."

thought I had my dark secrets hide good -- Guess again!

Yanky -- What you do to the necky of somebody who makey you mad.

Honor Role -- Honorary role, no spoken lines, in a B-grade film.

Same oh, same oh -- Eee-i, Eee-i, O.

intellegent -- A well dressed, courtly CIA agent.

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