And Now It's 2015

I know, I know – I’ve been absent from my blog for a long time.  Seems like I was always busy with this, that, or the other.  I meant to return during the Christmas shopping season, but then something terrible happened.

My S.O. of nearly seven years died suddenly from a massive heart attack three weeks before Christmas.  I spent the holidays in a state of shock and grief.  It still doesn’t seem real, that he’s really gone.  But he is, and I’m doing the only thing I can do – putting one foot in front of the other.

In retrospect, it seems like the last five years were chock-full of tragedy and/or bad luck – the deaths of my mother (and subsequent family drama), father, and dog; the accident in which I broke my hip; a year of unemployment.  And he was there with and for me through all of it.  I loved him, and I never had one moment’s doubt that he loved and cherished me, and I miss him so much.

The world – and my heart –  seems like a mighty empty and lonely place right now.

He loved my red hair; he always said it was what first drew him to me.  So you know what I did?  The day after Christmas, I bleached it blonde.  Good idea?  Not so good?  Who knows.  Took me four or five processes, sometimes only a day or two apart, to get the red tones out.  Then it looked too blonde to me, so I used yet another product.  For now, I think I’ll be grateful it didn’t fall out and leave it alone.

I’ll get over feeling shell-shocked eventually.  Probably.  I have no idea what the future holds – certainly, none of the remaining things we planned to do together.  Typically, I embrace change and challenge.  This one, I didn’t see coming and it’s kind of gobsmacked me.  But I’ll land on my feet.  I always do.

I’m thankful that I have a job to go to that keeps me busy and my sweet little pup at home.  And I’m glad I still have my blog where I can say whatever is on my mind.

Other than this, I don’t know what to say, so I think I’ve said enough for now.