Monday, October 29, 2012

Lunar Storm

Strange things are apt to happen under a full moon. People tend to be more excitable, more flaky, more just plain nuts when the moon is full. That's not an exaggeration. There's scientific data to back up the age-old claim that people get crazier when the moon's full. Just ask any Emergency Room worker.

I know one thing -- there's a Full Moon SuperStorm raging all over the place. Tell me that would happen under less than a full moon. Luckily, my sister in coastal North Carolina escaped the worst of the hurricane. Here, we have a lot of wind and some rain. There are blizzard warnings in the counties to the west of here. Hopefully, we won't see any snow from that.

I had to bite my tongue yesterday to keep from asking one of my neighbors if he's truly effin' insane or just an idiot. I get that urge often; under a full moon, it's harder than usual to resist it, so I'm hoping he'll mind his manners today.

I had to make an emergency, go-as-you-are run to Dollar General Saturday. Yes, it's perfectly true that emergency shopping is sometimes necessary. As it happens, I was mopping my kitchen floor when the mop broke. There was no alternative but to run out and buy a new one. And when one is in a retail establishment, there are other small necessities which can and must be acquired.  I think it's probably at least a misdemeanor to not buy when you're in a discount store.  Even though it was a few days early, the aisles were full of Moon Mad people -- and one visible employee on duty. No moon madness for moi, of course. It was their own darn fault if I had visions of grabbing a cart and moving some of them out of my way. Nothing crazy about that.

I bought some of those overpriced cookies that are supposed to be healthier. I get them home and I want one. Or half a box. I need a sugar fix. Now. And ... I can't get the damned inner lining open. I don't know what they make that stuff out of. I think it's a laboratory duplication of that same material they found in Roswell in 1948. I had to attack it with the scissors to get at the cookies. I got them, of course. I always win, one way or another -- especially when there are sweets at stake.

I was out of a darn near magical cleaning product that I love, so I picked up a bottle of that. I need all the cleaning magic I can get. It comes in a spray bottle, with a page-long label on the back which includes ridiculously convoluted instructions on how to get the nozzle into the proper position to function, which I've never had any difficulty doing before. I've never even had to read the label before. I followed the instructions to the letter. No dice. I held in the lever as directed and tried twisting it the other way, just in case the label writer was dyslexic. Still nothing. I tried clockwise, and counter-clockwise. Absolutely nada. That bottle wasn't coming open. Before resorting to putting on my ruby slippers and taking a chainsaw to it, I tried standing on the lever and using pliers to yank the nozzle into place. Yes! It squirted. Everywhere. By then, of course, I was too tired to clean.

I'm only telling you all this because I suspect I'm not the only one who has trouble with both Lunar Fever and an inability to open consumer products. That's pretty personal information, I suppose, but probably not something that's going to come back to bite me in the butt. Been there, done that. Be very cautious with what you reveal about yourself and never bare your soul (or anything else for that matter) on the Internet -- especially when the moon is full. You're not crazy, but "They" are.


Lee said...

Never fear, Serena, we all suffer from Lunar Fever! Just anyone who works in the hospitality industry; or those who work in hospitals etc. Cab drivers would have a few choice tales to relate, too, I'm imagine! The moon certainly does affect us all; even those who deny such happening. They're the one affected the most, probably!

I'm glad I'm not the only person who finds opening some products difficult. I've found myself having similar battles to yours!

I do hope the whole east coast of the US escapes harm from Hurricane Sandy. It's a frightening thing. And it certainly is a massive storm.

Batten down the hatches...and stay safe. My best thoughts and wishes are with everyone in its path.

Serena said...

Absolutely, Lee. Anyone who denies the lunar impact on humans is probably ... well, crazy.:-)

Good grief, these domestic battles with consumer products are maddening, aren't they? Somebody needs to come up with better packaging, something that people other than 4-year-olds can get into easily.:)

My hatches are battened and, so far, so good. The wind is starting to get on my nerves, as is the dog's nervous pacing. I feel for the people in the NJ and NY areas, who appear to be getting the brunt of it.

Lee said...

It's so sad what's happened up there along the east coast over the past hours...heartbreaking...and it's going to take a long, long time to recover.

We had live coverage here most of the day and I had my TV on all day...very distressing.

I'm glad you're okay, Serena.

Serena said...

Thanks, Lee; everything's fine here. You're right, the affected regions are looking at a long recovery time, I'm afraid. From what I've seen on TV, the damage is just astronomical.