Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Week's Best E-Mail

The first thing I want to do this morning is give a shout out to Roxan for sending me the link to this site. After perusing it and duly noting the recommended diet for delicate tummies, I cooked up a big bowl of rice and boiled chicken breast last evening, fed my pup about a cup full for dinner and again for her breakfast this morning, and there's been no recurrence of the diarrhea. Yay!! I'm going to keep her on this bland diet for a few days while her innards calm down. Thanks, Roxan! And thank your daughter, the veterinary technician, for me.

And now on to one of my favorite e-mail forwards. Enjoy!

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You cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ARKANSAS school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. Shehad diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach.

Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why some parents, evidently not those above, are screaming for better education for our kids.

Happy Hump Day, you guys!


g-man said...

Please excuse Dr. G from blogging today, he's got to spearmint with some twins!!


Anonymous said...


( pls excus sic inuit endo )

× × ×


VE said...

This is exactly what texting leads to too. Arkansas was just ahead of the times...

Mona said...

hehehe, those are priceless!

Serena said...

Well, good luck with those spearmints of yours, Galen. Try not to blow anything up. Unless that was what you had in mind.:)

And Happy Hump Day/Afternoon/Evening/Night to you, /t. I'm known for a warped sense of humor, so I'm rather fond of sic inuit endos.;)

You make a valid point, VE. LOL.:-)

Hi, Mona. Yep, they're pretty funny, aren't they?:)

Roxan said...

You're very welcome. I hope it does the trick for pup. Mandy's rubbing off on me and when someone talks about their animals I automatically think WWMD. LOL

NYD said...

Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

OMG! Too funny! I have seen these before and they never fail to crack me up.
Loose vowels. LMAO!!

Serena said...

Thanks again, Roxan. We're not quite out of the woods yet. Next time you talk to Mandy, could you ask her if there are any other foods besides the rice which would help to tighten up those doggie bowels?

I've seen them before, too, NYD, or something quite similar. They still crack me up every time I see them, never mind that I'm up to my ankles in loose vowels just now.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Y'know, ah dealt wid some a des folks as scammers ;)

Serena said...

Oh, I know you have, Skunk. LOL. Wouldn't surprise me if there were some Russian and Nigerian scammers learning the language in the Arkansas school system.:-)