Miss Begotten is one of my pet names for myself, for Southern Gothic reasons best kept to myself. Miss Begotten tries to speak plainly, but sometimes she tends to babble -- parenthetically, of course. It's never my intention to offend (and usually that's true - except on those [maybe not so] rare occasions when I mean it very friggin' much) but it sometimes happens, so if you're unusually easily offended...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Week's Best E-Mail
I've gotten some good stuff this week, but I think this is the one that made me laugh the hardest. Hands down. No pun intended.
Wise Old Biker
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike, and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. "May I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar. "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why, yes, yes, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger".
If you ask me, that would be a fitting job for Skank Girl. I wouldn't let her make me a cheesburger, though.
Happy Hump Day, kids.
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6 comments:
Lets see.....
Yep, I think I'd rather have a Cheese Burger as well.
After all, I am a crusty old biker!
:-)
Nawp...iffen I walk in, an' Skank Girl is behind the bahr, I'm sooooooo outta there.
Crotch crickets ain't edible...
I definitely prefer the cheeseburger, Galen. I'd be too mortified to ask the bartender for anything else.:-)
Iffen SK was behind the bar, Skunk, I'm afraid crotch crickets would be the least of your worries. Hell, after pulling your hair out trying to decipher her patois, you might end up ordering them ON your cheeseburger.:-)
crotch crickets?!?
i only come here every so often
when i do, i know that i can count on good ol' crotch crickets for amusing entertainment
HAPPY HUMP DAY SERENA JOY!
¤ ¤ ¤
/t.
hahahaha
so cool ;)
thanks Serena.
LOL, /t. Crotch Crickets -- the new phenom. Who would have thought?!:)
Hey, Ruela. Happy Thursday!:)
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