Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Hell in a Handbasket

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“I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.”
~ William Faulkner

I love Faulkner, never mind that I sometimes feel like I'm living my life trapped inside a Faulkner novel. The above quote seemed to me particularly apt by the time I got home from work yesterday. Dang, talk about your classic cluster-fuck. Today is shaping up to be not that much different. Way too much time is wasted spinning one's wheels trying to obtain in the midst of chaos the information one needs to do one's job. When an organized person in possession of a modicum of logic and linear thought is thrown into the lion's den, those damn lions are going to eat like kings every time.

I am here to confess that while I'm not altogether a bumbling idiot, I've made an inordinate number of truly stupid decisions in my lifetime. Sometimes, I don't think things through. Perhaps it speaks to my materialistic, avaricious side, but when a seemingly enriching opportunity presents itself, I tend to follow my instincts and jump right on that sucker. Oftentimes, I rue the day and live to regret it. I'm afraid that's about the size of my latter-day assessment of my job. All I can say is, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, that's how I ended up pregnant, too, but that's neither here nor there. In hindsight, I think I made a big boo-boo making this career move without doing my homework -- you know, like actually asking people who'd been there before me about the lay of the land. Well, I rarely studied in school. Not that much has changed, apparently.

What I think about that misbegotten decision now can be summed up thusly:

Winston Churchill:
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
~ Winston Churchill

Duh! As soon as this train reaches a stop where there's civilization, you can bet your ass I'm jumping off.

"Hell is other people."
~ Jean-Paul Sartre

Well, ain't that the damn truth! I know what I'm doing. What's everybody else's excuse? Why is somebody trying to conduct business based on Chaos Theory? News flash: it's not working!

"What fresh hell is this?"
~ Dorothy Parker

Alas, it seems that I'm channeling the late lamented Ms. Parker every morning when I walk into my office.

Hell's bells, something's got to give. Life needs to run like a well-oiled machine. When one cog is clogged up and running poorly, the other parts have to work twice as hard to stay up to speed. That's not an optimal situation. As loath as I am to make another move so soon, I think I need to. There's much to be said for peace of mind, and I'm finding less and less of that these days. I'd paint myself red and call myself Lola if I thought it would make me feel better. I may do it anyway. It would be different. The cleanup might be a bitch, though. I don't need any more mess. Some people thrive on stress and drama. I don't. Too much stress reduces me to a one-word vocabulary: Run!!

Here's a few blasfomys from hell for you to play with.

peice of mind
corporate gread


Mona said...

Serena? Why are you looking for the whereabouts of hell?

Hell & heaven are not geographical locations. they are the state of mind.

& specially hell, it can be found just beneath one's ego....

Mona said...

forfitted: Fitted for some kind of garment ( a wedding dress? Hell!)

demacrat: A rat who unlearned how to use a mac

peice of mind : a mind frozen to ice thus becoming cool( peaceful)

corporate gread : A corporate who is as well read as Galen

G-Man said...

Sherry... In lieu of the upcoming Holidays...I always Loved Hilaire Belloc's, "May all my enemies go to Hell, Noel Noel Noel Noel!"
If I had a buck for every piss-poor decision that I've made, I could retire.
Surely in our advancing age, we can get lucky and make ONE good decision...Can't we?...Huh?
You have a calm and peaceful evening Serena Joy..xobgxo

puerileuwaite said...

I remember a not-to-distant story about a woman who faked her own kidnapping to get out of her upcoming marriage. Why can't we apply that strategy to other situations as well?

G-Man said...

Mona.....You Funny!

Serena said...

I don't know, Mona. There are different levels of hell. I can take the outer bands of hell, but I find myself dancing when those flames lick a little too close. You made funnies with the words today. Good on you!:)

No, no, Galen -- I don't want to do something else instead of the holidays. I NEED those holidays. I like that little song, though, and may stand outside a couple of windows and sing it at the top of my lungs. Yeah, wouldn't it be great if we could get paid for our less than brilliant decisions? I'd be rich! It's true, though, that as the age of senility and gout and incontinence approaches, I've made ONE stellar decision. Yay!:)

The only problem with faking a kidnapping to get out of work, Pugsley, is that nobody's going to pay me for it. I can't afford to pay my ransom.:)

G-Man said...

I'll be your Diaper Darling!!
You bet I will.....

Serena said...

You're on, Galen. We'll see how darling it is when I qualify as the Depends poster girl.:-)

Skunkfeathers said...

There was a time that I would disagree completely with Mona: Hell IS geographic. It exists wherever my ex-fiancee is ;)

But I digress.

Take a number, Serena: I make decisions in my job and life, and if I compare the good 'uns and the bad 'uns in numbers, the good 'uns are comfortably ahead; if I compare them in results, I'm approaching an uncomfortable parity...

Serena said...

I wholeheartedly agree, Skunk, that there are geographic hells. And I know where the hot spots are! May you henceforth make better decisions than I and may your parity always be comfortable.:)