Monday, September 15, 2008

Word Is...

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A few words with dual meanings:

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female - Any part under a car's hood.
Male - The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female - Fully opening up oneself emotionally to another.
Male - Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female - The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male - Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female - A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male - Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female - A good movie, concert, play, or book.
Male - Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female - An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male - A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female - The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male - Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female - A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male - A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

and

9. He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

PSA: There's another pet food recall, this time for salmonella. Go to this site to check your brand.

Twisted Linguistics offers these blasfomys for your defining pleasure.

heresay - You may state that in this one place and no other.

bi-product - Goods marketed to those who love everybody.

contract breeches - Special pants worn for contractual negotiations.

poping magic pills - Parochial medications with miraculous properties.

beef strokenoff - A lonely male model.

tolorance
bulling at school
insultive
apperance
supertindent
leinency

11 comments:

G-Man said...

#6. Sherry! But that entertainment is very affartable..hehehehe

Have a GREAT WEEK...G
xobgxo

VE said...

Ha ha ha...very good. But is it me or did that seem slanted to the female gender a bit...

Here's another one:

Getting the message across:
Men: Relay the message in one simple sentence
Women: An hour of continious verbosity on feelings and emotions with many reduncies and side tangents

Serena Joy said...

Oh, hardy-har-har, Galen. YOU have a GREAT WEEK; mine's off to a rotten start.:)

Yeah, okay, VE, fair enough -- it was SLIGHTLY slanted. But I'm a girl and there's a full moon and you have to cut me some slack.:)

/t. said...

HAPPY
FULL MOON
SERENA JOY!

&
if you're going to san fran cisco
be sure to wear some garlic in your hair

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

Serena Joy said...

Happy Moon to you, /t. Should I find myself en route to San Francisco, how about I wear some flowers in my hair and just wave the garlic around at the peons?:-)

Mona said...

Lol! Serena! those are very apt and 'meaningful' definitions! :D

males ARE like that. What a coincidence I was writing a male /female discrepancy post a few hours ago !

I haven't slept a wink tonight & am sending the full moon your way! Hope you will forgive me for doing that!

Serena Joy said...

I forgive you, Mona. Damn moon's coming regardless. All we can do is deal with it. Get some sleep!

Mona said...

tolorance: patience required while waiting at the toll gate

bulling at school : playing the Spanish game of Bullfight at school

insultive : the Quality of being insulting

apperance : the presence at the place of appellate jurisdiction

supertindent : A Huge dent in the Tin

leinency : The inane leanings.

Serena said...

Those make sense to me, Mona.

Skunkfeathers said...

#6 can be a gas.
*ducking boos and throwd items*

I have a somewhat unrelated question: when there is a full moon, why do people act half-assed?

Serena said...

Because, Skunk. Just ... because.:-)