I wasn't sure what I was going to quiz you all about today ... until I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and saw something weirdly disturbing. Lying in the parking lot was a pair of men's underwear. They were black briefs, to be precise. They'd obviously been run over a few times, but there was no mistaking what they were. So, here's what I'm wondering.
1. How do you think some man's undies might have ended up in a Wal-Mart parking lot?
2. Do you think he shed them voluntarily?
3. Do you suppose they'd been worn?
4. Or do you think they fell out of a newly purchased package?
5. Do you think some guy changed his underwear in a car?
6. If some guy tossed his old undies out the car window, how gross do you rate that behavior on a scale of 1 to 5?
7. What emergency can you envision causing this nameless man to have rushed out to buy new underwear in such a hurry that he was forced to change in his car?
8. If you had seen this aberration taking place, how would you have reacted?
9. If you had to guess, what would you say his name is?
10. What do you think will happen to that pair of underpants?
We can't call it quits for the day without first checking out the blasfomys TWISTED LINGUISTICS rounded up. I'm dying to see what you make of this bunch.
drinking boose
stright
have yougret for snacks
prematurally
reaky
life threating surgry
I am do believe
sheering sheep
splindid idea
breifcase
asterik
fluffled
elememtary
permanant
14 comments:
1. How do you think some man's undies might have ended up in a Wal-Mart parking lot? - They were overstocked and the night crew ran out of shelf space?
2. Do you think he shed them voluntarily? - Yes, because the alternative is too terrible to ponder.
3. Do you suppose they'd been worn? - Yes.
4. Or do you think they fell out of a newly purchased package? - No, not unless he opened the package to change in the parking lot, which leads to a whole new set of issues.
5. Do you think some guy changed his underwear in a car? - He may have, if he needed better access to his gear shift, if you get my drift.
6. If some guy tossed his old undies out the car window, how gross do you rate that behavior on a scale of 1 to 5? - Are you sure 5 is the high end of the grossness scale?
7. What emergency can you envision causing this nameless man to have rushed out to buy new underwear in such a hurry that he was forced to change in his car? - Accidentally took Ex-Lax instead of Viagra?
8. If you had seen this aberration taking place, how would you have reacted? - With extreme hilarity. This would be the ultimate in schadenfreude.
9. If you had to guess, what would you say his name is? - Bubba.
10. What do you think will happen to that pair of underpants? - They'll lay there until: (1) they rot; or (2) the street sweeper picks them up.
As for the blasfomys...
drinking boose - ouch...stumped right out of the gate!
stright - damn straight, you're right!
have yougret for snacks - sorry about this one...no ideas.
prematurally - how a young teenage male acts around a desirable female.
reaky - describing the condition of defective plumbing in a Japanese home.
life threating surgry - when you hope the surgeon cuts better than he spells.
I am do believe - tilt!
sheering sheep - the act of rendering sheep translucent as the intermediate stage of an invisibility experiment.
splindid idea - sorry, again...no ideas.
breifcase - obviously, this is what you transport your blasfomys in. Duh.
asterik - inquired of Richard.
fluffled - guided and directed by an intellectual lightweight (see, "W").
elememtary - the grade levels this individual obviously needs to repeat.
permanant - the new hairdo a female pismire gets before the prom.
I'm laughing so hard, I'm not sure I can take the Q & A.
1. How do you think some man's undies might have ended up in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Doing the nasty after hours in the parking lot.
2. Do you think he shed them voluntarily? Yup and somehow they got juggled out the window.
3. Do you suppose they'd been worn? yup
4. Or do you think they fell out of a newly purchased package? no
5. Do you think some guy changed his underwear in a car? not changed, per se
6. If some guy tossed his old undies out the car window, how gross do you rate that behavior on a scale of 1 to 5? I think fornicating in a Wal-Mart parking lot is not the most romantic place so I rat that GROSS - a fiver
7. What emergency can you envision causing this nameless man to have rushed out to buy new underwear in such a hurry that he was forced to change in his car? Shart (S--t/Fart)
8. If you had seen this aberration taking place, how would you have reacted? take a picture with my camera phone and report it on my blog like you have done. We are bloggers at heart, after all. Report all, let God sort 'em.
9. If you had to guess, what would you say his name is? Bubba
10. What do you think will happen to that pair of underpants? Parking lot sweeper will get clogged on 'em
too funny....
I didn't read Bilbo's response until after I posted. We both named the guy Bubba AND said the street sweeper was gonna have to choke 'em down
1. How do you think some man's undies might have ended up in a Wal-Mart parking lot?
They were too nice for the K-Mart lot, but not nice enough for Target
2. Do you think he shed them voluntarily?
The underwear sheding the guy, ro the guy sheding the underwear?
3. Do you suppose they'd been worn?
They didn't start off black...let's just leave it at that.
4. Or do you think they fell out of a newly purchased package?
Nope
5. Do you think some guy changed his underwear in a car?
I think he changed his car in his underwear
6. If some guy tossed his old undies out the car window, how gross do you rate that behavior on a scale of 1 to 5?
Depends on his reasoning.
7. What emergency can you envision causing this nameless man to have rushed out to buy new underwear in such a hurry that he was forced to change in his car?
Two words: Taco Bell
8. If you had seen this aberration taking place, how would you have reacted?
Silent shock and amazement
9. If you had to guess, what would you say his name is?
Serena Joy
10. What do you think will happen to that pair of underpants?
They are hanging from my rear-view mirror (no pun intended)
1. How do you think some man's undies might have ended up in a Wal-Mart parking lot?
Mrs. Tom Jones had just done a concert there.
2. Do you think he shed them voluntarily?
Depends if he's in a frat or not.
3. Do you suppose they'd been worn?
Also "shaken, not stirred", if they're mine.
4. Or do you think they fell out of a newly purchased package?
I've had my package for as long I remember.
5. Do you think some guy changed his underwear in a car?
Only if I've had a blow out. And even then, I use my directionals and move to the shoulder. Then I set out cones, or -if I had Mexican cuisine - a flare.
6. If some guy tossed his old undies out the car window, how gross do you rate that behavior on a scale of 1 to 5?
I categorize it a 1 or a 2, depending on the reason.
7. What emergency can you envision causing this nameless man to have rushed out to buy new underwear in such a hurry that he was forced to change in his car?
He had just been in an accident, and remembered that mom said to wear clean underwear for those events.
8. If you had seen this aberration taking place, how would you have reacted?
I would have pretended I was a motorcycle cop who just pulled him over. Then I'd remark, "I see you were going a little to fast under these slick conditions.
9. If you had to guess, what would you say his name is?
Melvin. Or at least it should be, after me and the rest of the frat boys get done with him.
10. What do you think will happen to that pair of underpants?
They shall be placed in the museum, where they will belong to posterity.
Bilbo, I'm dying laughing at both your answers and your definitions. #7 made me spew Coke.:)
LOL, CD. Dude would have to be really hard up to have to do the nasty at the Wal-Mart. LMAO at shart.:-)
Your answers are cracking me up, Kan. #7 - yep, I think a Taco Bell emergency could well have been the culprit. #9 - what?! If he has my name, I'm changing mine. Henceforth, just call me Dwayne.:-)
Puggy, your answers are amusing the hell out of me, too. Re #5, does this happen often? Maybe you ought to avoid Mexican in the future. #7 - good man! Melvin? I dated a guy named Melvin in high school (stop that snorting!). Definitely could have been him.:)
Uh...Were they Hanes?
2X..?
Inside out?
Geez, Galen, I didn't get close enough to find out all the particulars. They COULD have been Hanes, though; they had that "look" to them.:)
Now I hope you will take a look in my place You have a special gift from me on my site ;)
Oh, my goodness -- thank you so much, Fancy.
1) If you feel under the weather, you:
Stay home from school or work until you are all better.
Try to tough it out and go on with your normal day to day life.
Immediately go to the doctor and demand medication.
X-Take mass quantities of self-prescribed drugs.
2)A friend who has the habit of not returning things asks to borrow something important to you. You:
Refuse to lend it to her.
Lend it to her, and let her keep it as long as she'd like.
Lend it to her, but make sure you get it back promptly.
X- Demand her first born as collateral..plus cash!..just in case.
3)At amusement parks, what's the wildest ride you'll go on?
You'll go on any and all rides, no matter how extreme.
You'll usually go on everything, except one or two very scary rides.
You stick to the kiddie rides and games.
x- You'll ride 'Tawney',the tattood chick that runs the tilt-a-whirl.
4)If someone confronts you about something you did, you are likely to:
Fight back tears.
Listen calmly to what they have to say.
Cry right then and there.
X-Demand a warrant,and ask for my lawyer.
5)If you're unsure about an issue, you tend to:
Ask other people what they think to get a variety of viewpoints.
Defer to the experts - they're usually right.
Study it carefully and develop your own opinion, no matter how controversial.
X- Lie,..in an authoritative manner so as to buy time before the person realizes I'm full of shit.
6)Do you have many phobias?
You have a couple standard phobias.
You don't have any phobias.
You have many phobias.
X- Black Widow spiders!,'cause they hide in the dark recesses of my imagination,waiting patiently to leap on my face and devour my soul!!!
7) Are you often intimidated by people?
Not often, but some people are quite intimidating.
Yes, you find most people intimidating.
X- No one intimidates you.
LOL, Sling. You're such a card.:)
Crap!..I accidentally commented on the wrong post..but you knew that, :)
Yep, I figured it out.:-)
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