Monday, April 07, 2008

Winningly Weird

ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more
There are awards for just about everything you can think of, but did you know that there are awards for books with the weirdest titles? There are! And the winner of the 2007 Booksellers Diagram Award is If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs, by Big Boom. Big Boom, the apparently pseudonymous author who is purportedly an ex-pimp, calls it a "self-help book, written by a man for the benefit of women." It's a book, he writes, that is "raw, honest and about you," distilling "the sweat off my back, the wrinkles in my forehead from anger and thinking all the time."

Second and third place, respectively, went to I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen and Cheese Problems Solved. Other entries of note included How to Write a How to Write Book, Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues, and People Who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr. Feelgood.

Past winners include: Weeds in a Changing World (1999), The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003), Bombproof Your Horse (2004), The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (2006), and Living with Crazy Buttocks (2002)

The annual competition was launched in 1978 at the Frankfurt Book Fair when it was won by the memorably titled Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice. Since then, with the exceptions of 1987 and 1991 when no award was granted due to a decidedly sad lack of oddness, the annals of the weird yet oddly literary have produced some memorable winners, with a new oddly titled tome to be voted upon in September of this year.

Joy of Chickens won the 1980 award, followed by The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling in 1983 and Lesbian Sadomasochism Safety Manual in 1990. One that somehow stands out in the winner's circle was 1997's Joy of Sex: Pocket Edition.

So, what would you title one of your works in progress in hopes of nabbing a coveted Diagram? Be a pundit, be prurient, be peurile -- just give me a title. Here's mine: When Life Slaps You On The Butt, Get Up And Dust It Off -- And A Little Exercise Never Hurt, Either, Because Cellulite Ain't All That Charming.

In keeping with today's Writting Champeen theme, let's take a look at a few Words Gone Wild which fit the bill.

I'll do these:

If you wasnt readen they wouldnt be writen - Well, I guess I can't argue with that -- as much as I'd like to clean it up and disinfect it.

tatics - A tactic involving static ta-tas.

drug adicct - A new placebo for stupidity.

offened - Assassinated by an illiterate hit man.

eplipsey - A teensy online apoplexy.

You guys do these:

little pions
rauchy
hair brain ideas
blasfemos

13 comments:

G-Man said...

You asked for it...

"All You Ever Needed To Know About PMS"..Or..
(It's called PMS because the term "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken)..By Brittany Lohan

Little pions..small Safety Pions

Rauchy..Chy, that is not fully cooked

Hair Brain Idea's..Female Idea's
Male Idea's are called Cock-a-Maimy

Blasfemo's...
Breakfast Cereal for Heretics!!!

Cute Serena Joy
Today might be a great day..
..Or an awesome night!

Wow, all that Sherry participation gave me a headache!

not really...G

xoxoxbgxoxox

Bilbo said...

My book: "Great Expectorations, or My Quest to Get Within Spitting Distance of Charles Dickens' Literary Fame."

little pions - highly charged midget itinerant workers.

rauchy - sleazy and nasty, with no n in sight

hair brain ideas - that attempt to use Clairol's Just for Men as a brainwashing drug just didn't work out

blasfemos - breath mints that were rejected by Muslims in marketing tests, leading to riots and the burning of convenience stores

And for extra credit:

tatics - military guidelines for small-unit lacemaking

Serena Joy said...

I can always count on you, G, to bring up Mad Cow disease. Blasfemos for breakfast -- LOL. Thanks.:)

I'm definitely going to be reading your book, Bilbo. LOL. You're on a real roll with your definitions today; love 'em! You get your extra credit, too.:-)

VE said...

Books:

Everything you wanted to know about Nothing

Mojo in the Morning

The 50 Best Mountain Climbs in Florida

Conversations with Wicked Toe Bunyans

Serena Joy said...

LMAO, VE. Yes, Madame Serena definitely see an award in your future.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

Here's a book (or several) I could write as of this weekend:

"Polyps In The Colon, Shame On You!"

"Infected Large Intestine, Shame On You!"

Diverticulikethisnot: what a diver don't want rattling around in his wetsuit at 100 feet..

Serena Joy said...

Holy moly, Skunky, I hope these aren't auto-biographies you're writing. Yikes! If you're really dealing with diverticuwhatsit, I hope you feel better soon.:)

Charles said...

Moronicus Rex and the Senate of Richtards.

little pions - Atoms stripped of their electronic pants.
rauchy - grouchy rancher.
hair brain ideas - 80s rock style paradigm.
blasfemos - tumorous fetal tissue, high in iron, packaged and sold by Frito-Lay.

Serena Joy said...

Funny definitions, Charles. As is your book title, albeit perhaps a mite too close to the truth.:)

/t. said...

serena,

the only one
of these words
that bounces right out at me is

tatics: twitchin' tats

a title,
"toe jam: not just hi-brow any more"

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

Serena Joy said...

I've seen some twitchin' tats, /t. That's pretty freaky looking. Your book title resonates with me; you don't see that many books on toe jam, low- or high-brow. It's about time.:)

I think I'll submit another one: "Love in the Time of Diarrhea Means No Elopement Tonight."

adam brown said...

Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

Charles said...

Nice of the phishers to leave links to where to find them.