Monday, April 07, 2008
There are awards for just about everything you can think of, but did you know that there are awards for books with the weirdest titles? There are! And the winner of the 2007 Booksellers Diagram Award is If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs, by Big Boom. Big Boom, the apparently pseudonymous author who is purportedly an ex-pimp, calls it a "self-help book, written by a man for the benefit of women." It's a book, he writes, that is "raw, honest and about you," distilling "the sweat off my back, the wrinkles in my forehead from anger and thinking all the time."
Second and third place, respectively, went to I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen and Cheese Problems Solved. Other entries of note included How to Write a How to Write Book, Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues, and People Who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr. Feelgood.
Past winners include: Weeds in a Changing World (1999), The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003), Bombproof Your Horse (2004), The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (2006), and Living with Crazy Buttocks (2002)
The annual competition was launched in 1978 at the Frankfurt Book Fair when it was won by the memorably titled Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice. Since then, with the exceptions of 1987 and 1991 when no award was granted due to a decidedly sad lack of oddness, the annals of the weird yet oddly literary have produced some memorable winners, with a new oddly titled tome to be voted upon in September of this year.
Joy of Chickens won the 1980 award, followed by The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling in 1983 and Lesbian Sadomasochism Safety Manual in 1990. One that somehow stands out in the winner's circle was 1997's Joy of Sex: Pocket Edition.
So, what would you title one of your works in progress in hopes of nabbing a coveted Diagram? Be a pundit, be prurient, be peurile -- just give me a title. Here's mine: When Life Slaps You On The Butt, Get Up And Dust It Off -- And A Little Exercise Never Hurt, Either, Because Cellulite Ain't All That Charming.
In keeping with today's Writting Champeen theme, let's take a look at a few Words Gone Wild which fit the bill.
I'll do these:
If you wasnt readen they wouldnt be writen - Well, I guess I can't argue with that -- as much as I'd like to clean it up and disinfect it.
tatics - A tactic involving static ta-tas.
drug adicct - A new placebo for stupidity.
offened - Assassinated by an illiterate hit man.
eplipsey - A teensy online apoplexy.
You guys do these:
hair brain ideas