Tuesday, April 15, 2008
No Jack, No Giant, Just ... Magic Beans
Yeah, I know -- I'm posting way early. I'm off to my new job this morning and I don't know what the Internet access situation is there. Therefore, I thought I'd go ahead and get it done; i.e., better safe than sorry.
Yesterday, I read about one of the strangest diets I've ever heard of. There's this fellow in England whose doctor warned him that he was at risk for bowel cancer, never mind that we're apparently all at risk for some kind of cancer every single day we beat the astronomical odds and live. Anyway, the gentleman decided that some dietary changes were in order and proceeded to implement them. Rather than add fruits and vegetables to his diet, he began eating -- are you ready for this? -- beans; more specifically, six cans or so of baked beans per day.
There is reportedly very little variety in his new diet. He eats beans with rice for lunch and beans with a potato for dinner. I always thought beans were fattening. I could have sworn that's what I was taught. Evidently, I've been greatly misinformed, though, inasmuch as he has lost 140 pounds since beginning his bean regimen because beans are actually low in fat and high in fiber. Diet food. One is constrained to wonder whether Mr. Beans has a spouse or a housemate because we're all familiar with one of the legendary side effects of bean eating. I believe it's not outside the realm of possibility that special measures for pleasant breathing might be necessary in his abode. But what the hell, he's slimming down.
Beans. Who knew?
TWISTED LINGUISTICS has some magical Words Gone Wild today.
intenational - A really tenacious national who plans to do something.
a vile of blood - Bad blood.
dashboar - Big wild pig in a hurry.
talksa - Conversing while salsa dancing.
publicate - A lewd act with a book.
successes youève had - Rejection by the aforesaid book, leading to brain damage.
Do you guys want to take a crack at these etymological oddities?
defimation of character and lible