Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Good Vibrations

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No, this isn't going to be a post featuring a Beach Boys video or ruminations about certain discreet appliances. The fact is, I drew a complete blank about what to post today. I suppose I could write some obscene poetry, or put up a few risque pictures and open an inappropriate discourse, but ... nah. That would be très faible classe, even on April Fool's Day. It's not Meme Day or Poetry Day or Interrogation Day yet, so that's out. Nyet. While whining may be in vogue, it's not my style. Except -- there is this one little thing that I could be persuaded to whine gently about.

I made my first round on the interview circuit yesterday, and I hated it. I've been in my current job for seven years, but I didn't have to interview for it. Therefore, I now realize that it's been ten years since I've interviewed for a job. I had all kinds of disjointed thoughts running through my head as I prepared for it; e.g., I'm not the same person I was ten years ago -- does that mean my interviewing skills have improved or gone to seed? Is it better to just let my hair down and be myself, or should I paint myself in the light of a consummate professional? You know, fake it? Will I have to answer that stupid question, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" and, if I do, how should I answer? Will I giggle inappropriately, or freeze up at the most inopportune time? I'm just not getting good vibes about the whole ordeal.

That last interview ten years ago was very casual and informal. I'd like to land another job like that, albeit preferably without the suicidal boss. I hope I get some laid-back, fun interviews like that this time around. I think they give both parties a much better feel for who the other person is. All in all, I hate the whole interviewing process, but I have to do it. I have one month in which to master the technique and move on. I need to get my butt in gear. A month is nothing. No wonder I've had a headache for four days.

Just in case I do have to answer that asinine question mentioned above, I'd love it if you all would provide me with a list of some witty, intelligent answers.

I guess we might as well play with some Words Gone Wild now, don't you think?

afriad - A terrifying Afro.

broke my heard - Deaf.

berautiful - Antithesis of pretty.

babrercue - Hideous nightmare in which Lambchop and Brer Rabbit are grilled.

beieve - The state of being gullible.

abmismal - An abnormal miasma.

Can you guys come up with anything on these?



Simon Sterwin said...

Adjective - resembling Olympus Mons on the planet Mars.

A coffee break for gmail employees.
Fast-food chain employees, on the other hand, take a "Mcrest."

A dinosaur whose snake-like neck resembles the letter S.

Anonymous said...

i'll finish
your list with

escelating: steadily increasing sense of the need to get away, ie, to escape, per prisoners and some snow-bound canadians

oh! i see that the snow is melting and am thinking now that babrercue must be close at hand!!!

¤ ¤ ¤


VE said...

They key with interviewing these days is that it is all behavioral interviewing. That means that they want you to take a real experience from before and use that to address the question. For example:

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

"Well when I was a bank teller back in 1997 I used visualization techniques to project where I'd be 5 years later and having embezelled all that money I figured I'd be retired for the rest of my life. The interesting lesson I learned from that experience is that money doesn't last as long as one might think and so I'm back in the job market.

Next question?"

Anonymous said...

ha hah ha hah aha hah ah hah ah ah aha ha haha hah ah haha ha ha hah ha hah hah aha hah ahah ha ha ha!

you're hired


Mona said...

where do you see yourself in five years from now? Is that the question they ask...

Whay that is easy Serena! You should say, I see myself right here in this company, in a bigger & building & in another chair, which will be larger & spacious & with perhaps a secretary of my own!

Serena Joy said...

You did a great job with your words, Winters.:D

You did a fine job with yours, too, /t. I'm going to babrercue something; gonna burn it to a freakin' crisp, in fact. I'm hired? I don't care what the job is, I'll take it!:)

VE, if I use that answer, will you come and bail me out?:-)

I love your eternal optimism, Mona. Alas, the only thing that seems easy to me right now, I want nothing to do with.:)

Pink said...

Keys to getting a job, in my experience:

1. get the job - then decide if you want to accept it. Don't talk yourself out of anything before you meet them.

2. Where do I want to be in 5 years:

--"in your job, being promoted to the next level"


3. research - oddly enough if you research the company you're going to interview with or the people themselves, you'll find things that might interest you or that YOU want to ask THEM. I think an interview should be 50/50. You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. You've got to find out if this is a company/bunch of people with whom you'll be comfortable.

Good luck!

PS - I always like to have some ideas of what to say...and there is no harm in taking your time to respond - thinking an answer through. Besides...treat it like a game...you're improving your interview skills.

Serena Joy said...

Thanks for the good advice, Pinks. I'll definitely keep it in mind as I undergo this grueling process. I do try to think of the quest in terms of a game -- until I remember what the stakes are if I fail to capture the grail.:)

Hale McKay said...

I'm afraid I'd be of very little help for you on this matter.

You see, I have never had an interview, never prepared a resume' or filled out an application for any job I've ever had. ...And I did not have a college degree.

Don't misunderstand - I have filled out applications and turned in applications for jobs I never got! (I was employed at other jobs at the time of those applications.)

The jobs I have had were all by connections or they fell into my lap or I was approached and offered the job. These include 20 years in the stock market, office manager, money market manager, as well a hotel auditor, and 3 years as an apprentice pipe/steam fitter (Which I quit because I didn't like getting dirty).

I did eventually get a degree in business management, but only because one of the jobs sent me and paid for it.

I guess I was lucky. A funny thing happened on the way to work - I was given a job.

Good luck on the hunt. I don't envy you. I'd be lost if I were in your shoes.

Serena Joy said...

I've had a few lucky connections, too, Mike. And now I'm looking for that luck to keep going before I end up on a fast train to nowhere. I figure if I remain sanguine, something's gotta pop somewhere, right? Thanks for the well wishes; please keep 'em coming.:)

Charles said...

I'm keeping my mouth shut on the interview thing, I don't think I'd be any help at all.

monsy - having qualities of a (sucky?) Monday.
grest - Google's implementation of Representational State Transfer.
esopegus - The esophagus of a mythical winged horse.
escelating - Hitting the escape key just after you should have.

Serena Joy said...

I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about interviews, Charles. They suck. They're ... monsy things. I like what you did with today's words, particularly "esopegus.":)

G-Man said...

Your smart enough
Your talented enough
Your very pretty..
And Doggone it, people like you!!

Your Hired!!!

A 4 day Head-Ache?

Quatros Malados...


Serena Joy said...

Why, thank you, Galen. And what am I hired for? As long as the pay is good and it doesn't involve midgets or juggling, I'll take it. I think the 4 days of that puta, quatros malados, is over. So far, so good, anyway.:)

Skunkfeathers said...

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"In a mirror, just like now. Why?"

endofview: when one's screwed the pooch on an interview...

Skunkfeathers said...

I much prefer the interview question, "if you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

"A supple willow tree, so I can take a good switch out of it and beat you for that utterly lame question!"


I think I best stay where I is, since I managed to fool these hyar wid me bein' one fart smeller...er...something sorta soundin' like that.

You, on the other hand, deserve all the plaudits herein!

Hale McKay said...

Perhaps, you should seek some advice from a guru, Serena. I know of a good at Karma in High Places. He helped me.

Also, with your mind preoccupied about keeping yourself occupied, I thought I'd give you a shout out - the next chapter of "Echoes of Eddie" has been posted: Echoes of Eddie -14.

Kanrei said...

I missed something somewhere I think. Why are you looking for a new job??

Serena Joy said...

I wouldn't mind getting the tree question, SF. That would at least make sense to me -- and I could come up with a semi-intelligible answer.:)

I'll go see the guru, Mike. And he'd better not be a gnome!:)

To recap, Kan, my boss got a sudden yen to retire and I'm probably going to be out of a job around May 1st.:(