Thursday, March 13, 2008

Damn Spam

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My G-mail picks up more spam in the space of a week than you can shake a stick at. I just cleared it out day before yesterday, and I'll be darned if another 100 hadn't piled up by last evening. I thought some of the subject lines were mildly amusing:

My regular partner is boring so I had sex with someone...
Add up to 4 inches to yours penis
Prada
Love her the right way (from a Miss Bambi Luvera)
I wanted to dominate the other person
Gucci
Supersize your hot rod
Do you want to enlarge your penis?
Awesome moans of a hottie
Hidden cams in a dressing room
Greek teenage billionaire topless pix
It was an initiation rite to a club or organization
Voluptuous beach honey alert
I wanted to make a conquest (from an Isabelle Zavala)
I wanted to breakup my relationship (from Miss Pearlie Staples)
Dance in the sheets all night long
Slovenian blonde on webcam (from a Mr. Milad Leidenfrost)

Some of the other gentlemen spamming me were Buster Rahn, Jerome Bacon, Jesus Lewis, Blaise Kuramoto, and Mr. Amadeus Honoré who wanted to sell me Cialis.

Who the hell sells these people our addys? Of course, I'm sure there must be quite a bit of phishing and trolling going on, but I have no doubt that lists containing our info are sold every day of the week. Somebody ought to put a huge, long-lasting curse on the purveyors of those lists. What I'd be interested in knowing is whether anybody ever actually BUYS anything as a result of being spammed.

Anyway... Want to ogle and stick your tongues out at the Words Gone Wild that TWISTED LINGUISTICS rounded up today?

seqment - That portion of a thing that follows it.

Chineese - A race of people with lantern jaws and huge chins.

itnital - What a nit-picky thing it is!

brank - Something rank that is brought to a place.

becuas - A Roman emperor with a particularly nasty disposition.

promblem - A badge that must be worn at the prom.

comcern - What the dot.coms used to be before they went bust.

finnaly - Of or relating to Finnish hoodlums.

lioses - Lying louses.

mwmber - How people who stutter refer to various of their bodily appendages.

stuoidy - Eat this dumb soup or you will die.

chold - A scolded child.

Do you know what your lucky colors are? Take this quiz and find out.

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16 comments:

Kanrei said...

Sorry I missed this week. It has been one of those weeks. Where are the Thursday questions? I need my poll!

VE said...

Awesome moans of a hottie? Can I get the whole CD downloaded to my ipod?

Serena Joy said...

Aw, sorry you've had a bad week, Kan. And sorry about the missing questions. I kind of forgot a little bit that it was question day.:D

I expect they could probably accommodate you, VE. God knows what it would cost you, though.:-)

/t. said...

hello,
<C...Serena@...>

i c u (!)
&
so do the spammer's robots

most if not all email addresses that wind up in a spammer's database come from automated web crawlers (robots) -- harvesters

they scoop web (and blog) pages and scan for xxx@xxx.xxx patterns, and send the results to the spammer

client-side filters and blockers and deny-lists generally are ineffective -- a waste of time, resources, and money

the way to stop 'em is to never, never, never -- let's be clear here -- never publish your email address on the internet -- never and w/o exception -- or, you will lose it

if you need or want to make your email address publicly available, then do it with javascript (or other) programming, where the goal is to remove all xxx@xxx.xxx patterns from your pages and have the program dynamically assemble your full address as required -- the spammers and their robots are far too dumb to figure it all out and will ignore you :)

ok, that said, this advice works if you have your own (or a leased) domain (e.g., i have warnell.com) where it is permissible to install dynamic pages -- alas, you can't do it here at blogger... sorry

now, on the myth of internet annonymity...

roobots -- mechanical marsupials ;)

happy thursday, serena of the joyous!

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

Corn Dog said...

LOL! I love the name Jesus Lewis. I must have read your mind. The third portion of my blog post today is about spammers. I always get drug companies or enlarge your penis emails. BUT I DON"T HAVE A PENIS AND I DON'T WANT ONE AND I REALLY DON"T WANT AN ENLARGED ONE. There. I feel better.

Serena Joy said...

Ah, yes, /t., the ever-present bots, the bane of the Internet. They do for a fact overrun my G-mail in-box but, thank God, they never manage to penetrate the spam filters of my main e-mail. I think I will take out the little @ in my G-mail addy, though. That might cut down some of the traffic.

It hasn't been such a happy Thursday -- big changes looming on the work front -- but I lived through it. That's the main thing. I hope YOU'RE having a happy one.:)

LOL, Corn Dog. I did laugh at the name Jesus Lewis. The penis spams always make me giggle, too. I got all indignant one time and replied to one of those things, told 'em I didn't have a penis, didn't want to grow one, and if I did I was sure the size would be just fine. All I got for my trouble was 10 times more spam. If it makes you (and me) feel better, I think we can go ahead and unload on the enlarged penis zealots right here.:-)

Little Lamb said...

I hate spam. I used to have hotmail and Yahoo and got spam with both. I didn't have them for a while and now I do because of school and no spam. I don't know why. Maybe a lot of people were complaining or they haven't found me yet.

Serena Joy said...

I've heard that Yahoo has stepped up their spam filters, Lamby. That may be why you aren't getting as much. I know very little about Hotmail, but that may be true of them as well. Any day when we get no spam is a good day!:D

Hale McKay said...

An acronym story:

Once upon a time...

SPAM - S(ome) P(eople) A(re) M (ad.)

Because of...

SPAM - S(pecial) P(enis) Advertisements M(ailed.)

They say that ...

SPAM - S(ome) P(eckers) A(re) M(assive.)

And they say ...

SPAM - S(ome) P(eckers) A(re) M(iniscule.)

Want to be happy, ladies? ...

SPAM - S(o) P(eek) A(t) M(en.)

Know what, guys? ...

SPAM - S(he'll) P(ick) A M(onster.)

What should you do? ...

SPAM - S(o) P(lease) A(nswer) M(ail.)

----------------

I just had a horrible thought - what if spammers copy this and use it? Maybe I should copyright it!

SPAM - S(ome) P(eople) A(re) M(ean.)

The End

Serena Joy said...

You had yourself a fine time playing with Spam, didn't you, Mike? LOL!

Spanking Pesky Amorous Monkeys everywhere.:D

Hale McKay said...

Serena Peeking At Me?

Hale McKay said...

In the comments at VT, you have some additions to your "Why did the chicken cross the road?" post.

G-Man said...

Your lucky color..?
I don't know about lucky.
But I DO love Red..

xobgxoxox

snowelf said...

Wow....I never get spam in my Gmail... only in my yahoo account, but I only give my yahoo account out for business and junk email stuff I have to sign up for.
My then again, like your real email, my gmail account is only for my friends and blogger comments, it's obnoxiously long and hard to type, so I think that helps. :D

--snow

Little Wing said...

'Supersize your hot rod'
that's funny!

also why I don't have g-mail!

Serena Joy said...

Serena Peeks Always, Mike.:D
Sorry I've been so remiss with my chicken remarks; I'll get there.:)

I did know that about you, Galen, that you love red; especially crimson. Can I call this Scarlet Haiku?:-)

I have another g-mail addy, Snow, which never gets spam. Like /t. said, it's got to be those creepy bots trawling through Blogger.:)

I thought that was funny, too, LW.:)