Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Bad Mama-Jama

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I'm at home today, thanks to my ridiculous new work schedule. I think my boss may have had some ill-conceived idea about specifying which three days per week I'll work, but I nipped that in the bud. The way I see it, I'm calling the shots here. This week, he gets Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I had told him last week that in light of the price of gas weighed against my loss of income, I'd be working from home. I changed my mind about that. Who in her right mind would want to hang around here all day, every day?

No nibbles yet from any of the editorial feelers I've put out. I am, however, toying with the idea of plunging into the business on my own.

I should by now be wise in the ways of bad mojo. God knows I've seen enough of it. Of course, I know what's going on here, and don't think I don't. There's a full moon Friday night, that's what. A heaping portion of nasty gris-gris in such close proximity to a full moon can produce nothing but bad mojo. It's been my experience that these things come in threes, too. I'm just waiting to see what falls on my head next. On the plus side, I got a tax refund check yesterday. With all the weirdness going on, it wouldn't surprise me if the check bounces.

I'm afraid to say anything else, so why don't we just beat the hell out of some Words Gone Wild?

opion - Curse by a mathematically obsessed Gypsy -- "O, a pi on you and both your houses!"

inconvimence - The essence of vim and vigor, discovered at an inopportune time.

premidonnas - Girls named Donna who were born ahead of schedule.

ratcher - One who eats too much bacon and then retches.

Estrogine - Car fueled by an esoteric artificial hormone.

reasearch - Looking for something using reasonable logic.

oppisite - Web site for devotees of 1960s pop art.

she has no sence - Perhaps not, but they say she's pretty hot.

soventry - Claim by certain laughable banana republics.

disrispectfull - Refers to the love-life of an illiterate.

scamed - Something you see happen to a lot of people who came to the Internet, got taken, and screamed.

quesy - How some online hos make me feel.

pleasnant - A request not to do some nasty thing.

deel with - What to do to people who pester the hell out of you.

terriost - Breed of small, mean dog that wears an explosives-laden harness as it springs, chases, and bites.

attact - Someone who falls so short on the attractiveness scale that you want to smack him/her.

stupidy - What a loony calls a compatriot.

controll - Trolls who become grifters.

embrassing - To coat an object in brass and, ergo, it's art.

fill the lawsuit - Just write any fluffy thing in the pleadings; nobody reads it anyway.

You know what would amuse me today? I'd love it if y'all would write me some poetry on the subject of mojo -- good, bad, or indifferent.


VE said...

Oh no!
My afro
is aglow
Because long ago
I lost my mojo
Where did it go?
I do not know
What a bozo

Kanrei said...

I once had a mojo
Where did it go?
It can't wander fast
It can't wander slow
It can't fly in the sky
It can't swim in the sea
So why did my mojo
Up and leave me?
Was it something I said
Or Something I didn't do?
Did it leave me for another?
Is it there beside you?
I can't believe it would leave me
Sitting here all alone
If you see my mojo
Please remind it to phone

snowelf said...

Serena, I must present the ultimate theme song of people with terrible luck. You may know it since we like the same music, but it is called "Story of my Life" by Smashmouth.
You will love it.


NYD said...

Be lookin high an low,
for that knob that controls the flow,
of good times - high and bad ones - low.
When emotions take their toll.
Circumstances rock and roll.
Get down to where the gypsies go.
A little shack where the moon don't show.
Then ask the one who lives there, with eyes as black as crows,
to lay on you some powerfull MOJO!

Skunkfeathers said...

There was a young lass from St. Lo,
who thunk to herself Oh F*** no,
her horoscope saw bad mojo,
and for the whole week it will just blow.

Yeah, I know this sucks, but you did say bad or indifferent...

Charles said...

The breakfast was fine,
The food totally mine.
Fresh coffee on which to blow,
before a presence did ask, "MoJo?"

Charles said...

Oh forgot to mention, its nice to see you found your Ruby Slippers. If you wear them, don't let the thing that falls on your head be a house.

Serena Joy said...

VE, Kan, NYD, Skunkfeathers, and Charles -- you guys have outdone yourselves with your mojo poetry and blown my socks off. Yes!! All of your stuff is going to the Poetically Twisted blog as soon as I can muster up the energy to do it. You made me laugh out loud. Thank you!:-)

Miss Snow, I do know Smashmouth and that is the PERFECT song. I just hope you're having a better run of luck than I am.:)

Yes, Charles, I do guard my ruby slippers with my life. That photo was taken after an unfortunate episode. THAT won't happen again.:D

Hale McKay said...

That was quite a list of Twisted Linguistics today. Good job on them.

Oh no, no!
A poem about Mojo?
Get me some more Joe.
Maybe a rhyme will flow,
Or I might have to eat crow.
On top of old spaghetti - oregano
This makes no sense, I know,
Not at the Vaudevill show
Or the beach at Kokamo.
What means this mojo?
More coffee ya know;
Think more Joe
Like - mo'Jo.
Oh no, no.

G-Man said...

Can you tell me it's real
Can you give me assurance
Is it something perceived
..or a real occurance

It changes your life
It changes your style
Does it really exist
Or is it just a 'pile'

Good Mojo, or bad Mojo, we can't ourselves choose it...
But we don't seem to miss it, until we all lose it...

...You Never lost yours Sherry!~!!!!

Yeah Baby!!!!!


Serena Joy said...

Thank you for a most excellent poem, Mike. I know, that was a big pile of words.:)

And thank you, Galen, for your poem. Lovely! You're right, my mojo wasn't lost. I did find it under a big pile of crap. Alas, that sucker was dead. And it looks and smells so bad that I'm fixing to kill it again.:)