Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Slamming Spam

Make your own clipart like this @
Has the Do Not Call list expired? I'm suddenly getting a trickle of telemarketing calls, and I am not happy about it. To me, those sorts of calls are nothing but spamming my phone lines. If any telemarketers happen to be lurking around, listen up: If I want to buy something, I will call YOU. Not the other way around.

I've heard rumors that cell phones are now fertile ground for telemarketers and that there is a separate Do Not Call list for them. Does anyone have any information about the veracity of this information? I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize, but I still resent it if these intrusions are going on.

We all know about e-mail spam. Its numbers are legion. Not a day passes that the in-boxes and spam filters on all my e-mail accounts aren't filled with it. G-mail is the worst for me. If I go a week without checking for and deleting spam, there will be over 300 waiting to be deleted. AOL is very good about filtering out spam; I only get a couple a day. This one was in my spam folder yesterday. I normally delete them all unread, but sometimes I'll look at them just to see if there's anything to play with. This one qualified.

VIAGRA $2. 60
CIALIS $2. 80
And many other items -
those who understand the steps of the celestial dance. Human destiny may
Professor Moody? he said again. Dyou think. . . could this have
So old Crouch lost it all, just when he thought he had it made, he
You werent there, said Harry. You didnt hear her. This time was
Yeah, said Harry, because were friends.
easily. As long as you got into that maze, preferably with a decent head
hooting indignantly. Coming back, because he thinks Im in trouble!

WTF?! I don't need Viagra. Or Cialis. Or bootleg drugs of any kind from an Internet pharmacy. I know that they generate countless spam e-mails, though. What I don't get is the nonsense that accompanies this one. This isn't the first time I've seen this, and this one is relatively benign in comparison to some I've seen. I own a number of online venues and I get these things all the time. Some of them carry on that nonsensical doggerel for two or three pages. Who knows what it even means? Geez, I've gotten them written largely in foreign languages, too. That's pretty maddening. If you want to hawk your wares, why not just send out an ad with a scruffy guy in a trench coat standing on a street corner asking, "Yo, deadwood, wanna buy some Viagra cheap?" Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

It's ironic that after I'd sketched out a draft of this post last night, I was forwarded yet another junk e-mail. I got it because my name and sites are mentioned in a deleterious manner in it. Why whoever orchestrated this garbage thinks anyone in their right mind would be interested in it is beyond me. I guess you have to have the tools to probe into a very disturbed mind to try to find any glimmer of understanding about the motives behind this psychopathy. At one time, I might have found this sordid train wreck funny in a twisted and pathetic kind of way; now I see it only as sick and disgusting. I'd like to know why the person who generated it felt compelled to do so -- again. She used a disposable Yahoo addy (as usual) which routed it through Inktomi and Yahoo but failed to camouflage the actual point of origin, i.e.,
AT&T Internet Services SBCIS-SIS80 (NET-206-170-0-0-1) -
CALNET City of Los Angeles - ITA SBC206170104000030401 (NET-206-170-104-0-1) -
# ARIN WHOIS database

Duh. Of course, that tells me exactly who sent it. Why it keeps happening, outside of a clear case of social retardation, is anybody's guess. I guess some people have more time than brains. If Ms. Malign would now care to comment, come on out of anonymously malicious mode and go for it. After all, you've been waiting since 2:14 A.M. for your chance.

We get junk faxes at work all the time. We get unsolicited offers to buy stocks, time shares, medical plans, drugs -- you name it. This garbage does not entice us to buy anything. It just pisses us off that they're using our paper and toner to spam us and tying up our fax line so our legitimate faxes are delayed. We always call the "remove" number in small print at the bottom, but who knows whether that will really stop them.

And then we have mailbox spam. I get so much junk mail that if I don't stay on top of it, it would multiply out of control in a week. And because so much of it is credit card offers and the like, I bought a shredder. These multitudinous offers are so easy to "accept" that I consider them an open invitation to identity theft. All I need is to get a call from a telemarketer some day demanding to know where the payment for the Porsche I bought on credit is.

If you're going to manufacture a product, by all means advertise it. That's what you're supposed to do, and I wish you the best with it. If I see an ad for your thingy that's remotely attractive and I'm interested in trying the product, I just may buy it. But call me, e-mail me, bombard me with paper ads -- spam me -- and I will never, ever, ever in any of my lifetimes buy your lousy product. Word.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS tried and convicted these Words Gone Wild today. We're thinking of hanging them.

it's just just a little father - A diminutive patriarch.

defenition - Defending your definition.

cosutme - The price of selling you to me.

you whom support - Yahoo Tech Support - Yahoom!

deep seated personal venue - A kiosk in the cellar.

featers in the wind - People who accomplish things in windstorms.

availbale - Take advantage of that large bundle of hay.

clearify - To explain something so it becomes clear as mud to you.

Your Vampire Name Is...

Empress of the Crypt


Scary Monster said...

Get any Desired College Degree, In less then 2 weeks.
Get these Degrees NOW!!!
Call this number now 24 hours a day 7 days a week (LOL) MON-STER

We also offer real live porn and Russian Brides and Grooms. Act now and get a discount on 100% gold plated zirconian engagement rings.

Get everything within 2 weeks.
100% verifiable, this is a real deal

Act now you owe it to your future.

An amazing assortment of incredibly potent natural "Viagra" vitamins made from herbs and medicines developed in the peoples republic of china and tested on pandas to be 1000% effective on prolonging your pleasure.

Get everything within 2 weeks.
100% verifiable, this is a real deal
Call (LOL) MON-STER now 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Iffin you be wantin to report this as spam please follow the following link Here

Roxan said...

I get spam offering to make parts I don't have bigger.
Last night I reported AARP as spam. Not once have I ever asked them to send me anything via snail mail or internet. They are like pesky fleas.

My vampire name is Baroness of Evil.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Scary. I might want one of those gold-plated rings, just in case I ever decide to be a Russian bride.:) I know where to report my train wreck spam. I already ran hard copies (of it and the second one that went out) next door to be added to the file. Those guys will know what to do with it; they have badges.

I get those "enhancement" offers, too, Roxan, Baroness of Evil (cool name!). I wonder what would happen if you applied some of them to parts they were never intended for?:-)

VE said...

I don't know about Spam but I've got this poor guy that is trying to get back his 7 million dollars that his Foreign Minister father tucked away in a foreign location and all I have to do is send him my bank account so he can give me a percentage. How nice of hime to think of me...

travistea said...

travistea has no home outside of the ranch nor does he have a anything to do with att what he has to do with is a fella with alot of rope i figured on a little faster but good things come to those who wait

Serena Joy said...

I've had a couple of those guys, too, VE. They truly are generous sorts, but I can't afford the fees for all those certified checks.:-)

Fuck off, Travesty. You might want to be mindful of the fact that you have no right to use the name "Travistea," too. Here's where you commented from, by the way: (LOS ANGELES CITY COLLEGE) [Label Visitor]
Referrer: joy&btnG= Search Blogs

Your little psychodramas (psycho being the operative word) are your business; stop dragging me into them.

Charles said...

Word. Yeah, Boy.

I hate spam, I put filters in my account to siphon off the worst ones into my trash, then every couple of days I'll go into the trash, select them all and report them as spam. The number is slowly diminishing that I get per any given time period.

Psychodramas? Sounds like you may need to implement some blocking.

MONA said...

Thank God I do not get any spam. It automatically filters & gets into a bulk folder that deletes it periodically on its own. If by chance I get some spam, I report it & then the problem never occurs again!

Serena seems really bugged by spam it appears :D

Serena Joy said...

I "get" a lot of spam, Charles, but I rarely "see" it unless I want to because it's filtered. Not to worry, the psychodrama is under control.

"Bugged" may be a slight understatement, Mona. Even though I realize some people are mentally ill, it's still annoying as hell. It would be nice if the woman would go get a life and leave everybody else alone, but I guess that's not likely.:(

Kanrei said...

I am waiting for something to make my parts smaller and softer for a longer period of time. I want something to help me gain weight and lose my hair faster. I want something to turn people off and lower my chances of "finding the girl or guy of (my) dreams." I am seeking a pill to make my breath more rank and my teeth a darker shade of yellow. Until they have something that can do all of that I am not interested.

Serena Joy said...

Well, Kan, you could write to old Travesty -- or whatever name she's using today. Alas, your gonads would probably fall off then.:-)

Charles said...

If medications are administered in reverse(i.e. used as a suppository), will they work in reverse?

Serena Joy said...

Why, I believe that would work, Charles. It'll take a team, though -- someone to hold the stuff, someone to measure it out, someone to get close enough, someone to hold down the patient, someone to gag said patient, someone (the bravest one!) to administer the dosage, yada-yada.

If you medicate a psycho in reverse, though, wouldn't the anti-psychotic drugs (working in reverse) just make the patient crazier? God forbid!

Anonymous said...

Yes the Do Not Call List has expired, you need to resubmit.
I believe I have the info in my mail box if you need it.

I like how the sneaky politicians have exempted themselves. During election time I get a couple a day.

Your Vampire Name Is...

Donovan of the Devil's Spawn

I guess I'm the Hurdy Gurdy man of blogdom.:)

Serena Joy said...

Thanks for the heads up on the DNC list, TC -- or should I call you Donovan? LOL. I would like the info if you wouldn't mind.:)

G-Man said...

I sorta like Spam...
I like it fried..
I like it with Pineapple
I like it on a shish kabob!
Whats the big whoop?
I don't think I've ever seen you this mad before..
It must be true what they say about Red-Heads
I'm watching you!!

Serena Joy said...

Fire up the grill, Galen, and I'll send you my Spam. Yeah, big whoop pissing off redhead big-time, you bet. Unless you turn into a crazy-ass psycho stalker, YOU will never see me this mad.:-)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Hey, cutie pie. Don't tell everyone that I'm writing from the Ukraine, but do tell me how you find out where someone posts from. Seriously, I'm curious. Could you e-mail it to me?

I'm sorry that the O.C. (Obviously Cuckoo? Ornery and Crabby? Old and Cantankerous? Offensive and Crooked?) is harassing you. I'd offer to beat her up, but it's a long way from the Ukraine to LA.

Serena Joy said...

Greeny, what the heck are you doing in the Ukraine, honey? Can you speak the language? Da? LOL.

I'll e-mail you.:)

Hale McKay said...

As for the expiration of the Do Not Call Lists - I received a letter that stated that the old list is "expiring now." It states that the expiration is based upon the anniversary of when I signed up. MY status on the Do Not Call List is that mine will expire on June 17, 2008. I have until 10 business days before that date to re-sign up.

Maybe the various states handle the process differently?

Ah Spam e-mail! Because I play Fantasy Football, I've been rcving a lot of Spam from odds-makers with guaranteed winners for MOnday Night Football.

Like most people, the Spam is filtered and dumped into a trash bin and deleted every 30 days. I don't see most of them.

Lesson learned today: Don't PO Serena!

Serena Joy said...

I didn't get that letter, Mike, so I didn't know the DNC was expiring. I think I signed up online last time, so I'm going to have to find a link and go reregister.

NO, don't PO Serena! Worst possible idea. Only morons and assholes do it.:)

Dana said...

I've worked at one of those places that calls you and asks you to participate in a survey or a study, and we were told that if a respondent said they were on a cell phone, we were to end the call. Reason: We were burning up their minutes.

So you would think the magic answer would be to tell whoever calls that you're on a cell phone, regardless of whether you actually are.


I've noticed that the LATEST latest trend is for these jerks to not even have a human being on the line when you answer the phone. When I get strange calls that turn out to be from some business or another, it's a computer that called me and a recording that gets left on my voice mail. And the recording even kicks in if I actually answer the phone.

So... I can't even tell them about the cell phone anymore (and I actually have one--my number started out as a landline but I had it ported) because there is no one there to talk to. So I have to keep being annoyed at the phone calls. To top it off, once in a while they add the name of the person they are calling to their recording, and one idiot is trying to call someone who has literally not had this number for at least three years and some months. I know, because that's how long I've had this number, land line OR cell phone. Grr. *headdesk*

Serena Joy said...

It's a real conundrum, Dana.