Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Hell's A-poppin'

I don't talk much about pop culture -- and for good reason. A word here and a word there is about all anybody can take of it. Today, I'm breaking my own rule and talking about ... pop culture. Just because I feel like it. And maybe because I have a few post-moon heebie-jeebies. Britney Spears, as I'm sure you've heard by now, lost custody of her kids to her ex, Kevin Federline. In a nutshell, what we have here is an evolutionary throwback winning something by default from a woman who has descended into trashdom. Nobody wins, least of all the children. I feel for those kids.

Next stop for Britney: Tag-team wrestling with Tanya Harding. Or Roller Derby.

David Letterman hurt Paris Hilton's feelings by asking her about her jail stay instead of her new perfume. Paris finally expressed her displeasure, saying she was sad she had come on the show. Boo-hoo. Letterman then offered to buy her a parakeet to make it up to her. No word on whether she took him up on it.

I propose nominating Paris as our next ambassador to Iran. She'd likely be thrown into a real jail the first day. That might strike a little fear into her fluffy little heart.

Actress Michelle Rodriguez, late of "Lost," is in trouble again for violating her probation arising from a drunken driving conviction. She failed to complete her community service and did not follow a court ordered alcohol education program.

In court last Friday, she submitted a document stating she performed community service on September 25, 2006, but later admitted she was actually in New York that day. Probation violation and lying -- another whopping case of over-inflated sense of entitlement, I'd say.

Why not send the rough and tumble Michelle to Iraq to kick some ass and get this war finished up?

At least none of the aforementioned shot someone in the face and got sent home by a wussed-out jury.

This isn't pop culture, but it's freakin' weird. Remember that last remaining NFH of mine, the upstairs girlfriend of the recently departed downstairs NFH? Come to find out, she wasn't actually finally divorced from her husband and he spent the week after her boyfriend moved out with her. She's now moved back in with the BF, and we're all wondering if the husband moved in with them as well. I don't think I like living in Peyton Place.

Okay, so I'm sick of pop culture and trash stats now. How about we look at some Words Gone Wild instead and let the TWISTED LINGUISTICS jury deal with them?

This batch was rounded up by Roxan.

peace of ass - The healing properties of Preparation H.

My primary function here is to critque
My Little Marijuana Brreathe

I defined the first one. The rest, we'll just look at and moan over.

And then we see:

good kama - Well, this one hardly requires definition. Carry on!

degredation - Loss of accreditation because of handing out bogus degrees.

in the mist of things - All wet.

And the current line-up from the "editor" person. I'm not kidding, if this person doesn't stop the "editor" plugging, I'm going to print the name and Web site. This is beyond ridiculous.

in for the long hall
starring us in the face
I belong to a sight
did it there way

Damn, how lame is this?
Your Halloween Costume Should Be

A Martini


G-Man said...

Tag Team wrestling with Tanya Harding?
What a great idea!!
Thanks Serena..
You do have the pulse of America sweetie!!

Roxan said...

I like Michelle Rodriquez. I'm sorry she has gotten herself into trouble and while I think she would benefit in anger management therapy I loved her performance in Resident Evil.
Paris will come through this. She's got good family behind her.
Britney, I don't know what happened to that girl.
I love candy corn, but I certainly don't love it enough to dress like one. LOL

Serena Joy said...

LOL, Galen. Why did I know you'd like that idea?:-) I don't know if I have the pulse of America, but at least I still have a pulse. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.:)

I like Michelle, too, Roxan, and I wish she'd get herself straightened out. Yes, we'll always have Paris. I don't know what happened to Britney, either. She used to be a cute little pop tart. She has a lot of work to do to overcome what she's become.

Roxan said...

My personal opinion is that some money exchange was involved in her losing custody. Look at the laws on it. The chances of her spontaneously combusting are 100% better than her losing custody under just about any circumstance. Bad mother or not. Trust me, I tried getting my ex's parental rights severed and had evidence he was unfit. Impossible.

/t. said...

britney who?
kevin who?
paris who?
michelle who?

little cindy lou who,
who was just two...

- the grinch

Serena Joy said...

Anything's possible, Roxan. I hear she blew off her drug testing, though, and that really pisses off judges.

LOL, /t. Could Horton hear a Hoo?:)

Roxan said...

With all the laws protecting the father it could be different for a woman losing custody. While they went to great lengths to protect the rights of fathers they included the deadbeats too. Could be the difference there.
Pissed off judge or not, they have to follow the law. I would imagine she will have supervised visitation because to totally sever the rights is impossible even if both sides agree to it. I think one way would be child abandonment, but even that is questionable.

Kanrei said...

Tag team would be a lucky future for her. She has passed LiLo on my "Celeb Suicide Watch List." She is now number one. I had written over a year ago to leave her alone and I still feel that way. A picture is a fraction of a second and there are how many seconds in a day? We are judging this poor girl based on a fraction of a second's information. She has not learned how to be anything other than famous so she is a designed wreck. Famous since she was 12.

Paris- let it fly on her. Famous for nothing.

Michelle is getting screwed slightly. Jack Bauer should be getting a lot more press for his screw up. 4th since 1989 after all. That shows this is habit for him. I like 24 and all, but seriously, Jack is becoming a terrorist on the road.

Kanrei said...

PS- Aren't you proud I did not have one single word about any of this on my site for once? I am getting better =D. A recovering addict.

Serena Joy said...

Points well taken, Kan. And yes, I noticed -- and I am glad that your site is devoted to salvation and the eternal quest for the holy chicken today. God, I crave the chicken.:-)

Kanrei said...

OK, yes the chicken posts are sort of weird, but I felt the need to write despite the lack of things to actually say. I hope people enjoyed them though.

Serena Joy said...

People can never have too much chicken. Hail to the conquering chicken.:)

P.S. I'll increase my offering if you can get a nice Rhode Island Red onboard.

Charles said...

"The healing properties..." hahaha.

I still think the penultimate show would be, Celebrity Ultimate Fighting.

Tell the name, tell the name! Some of us might even go there to make fun of the typical typos. Of course, you might be disappointed, if the well of paraphrased phrases dried up.

There's 1440 seconds in a day. I didn't calculate it, I knew it from programming.

Kanrei said...

There's 1440 seconds in a day. I didn't calculate it, I knew it from programming.

Do we really need more reasons to be in awe and/or scared of Charles? =D

Charles said...

I just don't understand the scared part. Knowledge is a good thing. It's not something to be scared of.

leelee said...

Looks like I am a Martini too...

I think everyone is tired of these pop divas and their bad behavior..I say they are getting what they deserve..and then I hope they would just go away..UGH!

Oh and hellooooooooo..I've been out of the loop...but I always try and give ya a read...brilliant as usual!


Serena Joy said...

I doubt that particular well of paraphrased phrases is going to dry up any time soon, Charles. I just might take you up on your dare if h/she doesn't stop advertising "editing" services.:)

1440 seconds doesn't sound like that many. Nope, I ain't skeered.:-)

Hi, Leelee. The pop divas need to grow up and get a grip. Their antics are getting tiresome. I fall out of the loop, too. It's hard to keep up sometimes.:)

Top cat said...

Pop culture sucks, I want my money back!

Your Halloween Costume Should Be

A Girl Scout
WTF?? even after I said I chase skirts not wear them, ok so I smile at everyone..geeeeeeeesh!


Serena Joy said...

I'll forward your request to the Refunds Dept., TC. LOL. Woo-hoo! I can't wait to see a picture of you in your Girl Scout uniform! Be sure you have your sash on straight. LMAO!!:-)

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Ha! You're a martini and I'm candy corn. I think that says a lot right there...we're both pretty fabulous in limited doses!

I did enjoy your pop culture commentary. I think the world's gone crazy and the pop culture phenoms are the puddings that constitute the proof.

I'm going to sign in as "anonymous" for my next comment. I'm ashamed to own it.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so the deal is, I saw Paris on Letterman. He was merciless, and she was actually professional in her redirection of the conversation. I hate her guts but I was very proud of her. It can't be easy to say, "No, I'm not going to talk about that any more" while maintaining your composure on national television with one of the demigods of late-night.

Seriously. That has to be hard.

Charles said...

I think Greeny's comment was making her green around the gills. Way to not own up to saying that. I've done the same a couple of times.

Serena Joy said...

we're both pretty fabulous in limited doses!

Absolutely, Greeny. Pour the Absolut and pass out the candy corn. We're throwing a Halloween party.

It can't be easy to say, "No, I'm not going to talk about that any more" while maintaining your composure on national television with one of the demigods of late-night.

Seriously. That has to be hard.

I didn't see the interview, but it sounds as though she handled it with applomb. I'm sure it would be hard. I know grace under pressure isn't my strong suit. I know I pick on the girl just because she's "famous for nothing," but she does handle pressure well. I'll give her that.

Greeny green around the gills. Charles made a funny.:)

Charles said...

Do you wanna see how stupid I really am? 1440/60=24 duh. seconds in a day are 60 times that, 86400.

Serena Joy said...

You're forgetting my math block. So you're saying there are actually 86,400 seconds in a day? Dang, that seems like a lot!

Akbar Muhad said...

Oh my goodness...

Hello my dear. We are looking for women to join in on our conference tonight. If you can only say hi we will be greatful.

Thank you my friend.


Little Lamb said...

These stars think they can do anything and get away with it. They're finding out they can't.

MONA said...

Pop Culture REALLY sucks!

Yikes... It tells me I should dress up as Catwoman !

Serena Joy said...

Hello, Akbar. I never conference, but thank you.

Right on, Lamby. If they want the perks of adulthood, they need to grow up.

It pretty much does, Mona. Pop culture, I mean. You know, you might look pretty cute as Catwoman.:)

Charles said...

Tell it to OJ. Oh, that's right, he only got away with murder.

Lee said...

'Tis a pity that here I sit, desperately, day by day, week by week trying valiantly and desperately to make ends meet and in the meantime, toeing the line...where there are those with questionable talent, reaping in millions of dollars, continually thumbing their noses at authority and morality...something's not quite right!

Serena Joy said...

You said a mouthful, Lee, and I agree with every word of it. There's nothing whatsoever right about the inequity of it.

Kanrei said...

MATH AGAIN!!!! CHARLES IS EVIL!!! See why I fear him? =P

Serena Joy said...

I fear Math much more than I fear poultry.:-)

VE said...

My claim to fame? I used to ice skate with Tonya when she was a little girl. Not with her, but on the same public ice rink. I thought her to be an obnoxious figure skater that didn't like to share the ice rink with us "hockey" guys.

Serena Joy said...

So you "knew her when," VE? Clearly, her disposition didn't improve much with age. Sounds like she might have picked up a few hockey moves, too.:)

Hale McKay said...

Cues up Jeanne C. Riley's Harper Valley PTA.

Frankly, I don't think Federline qualifies as a good part either.

Why not let the courts give Spears, Hilton, Richie and Lohan custody of each other? Woo-woo - watch the fur fly!

Serena Joy said...

Why not let the courts give Spears, Hilton, Richie and Lohan custody of each other? Woo-woo - watch the fur fly!

LOL, Mike. That would be an excellent solution. In fact, I like it so much I'd be willing to volunteer to babysit them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.:-)