Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thursday Q & A


1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?

7. Do you remember your first kiss?

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?

* Kids, if you have a question for tomorrow's Miss's Mailbox, send it in by tonight.

R.I.P., Luciano Pavarotti. The man and the voice will be missed.

TWISTED LINGUISTICS harvested a delightful crop of Words Gone Wild. I'm seeing a distinct pattern here in the shreds of my mind and I can't help what I'm about to do. Rather than define these buggers, I thought it would be more fun to defile them in a little ... story.

The words:

staff is gong bonkers
pereverts
memoires
sleeze
ban me from your click
fair better
say my peace
chasity
We seemt
reckognized
descention
Typose
panites
diffuculty
kool laid

Memoires From the House of Sleeze

There was once this place on a famous street (albeit on the wrong end) in a famous city which shall remain nameless, a formerly grand and baronial mansion abandoned and gone to seed. Since nobody else wanted to live there, a group of pereverts took up residence and began -- you guessed it -- plying their trade.

First they went out and recruited a crew of working ladies off the best corners and, voilà, they had a staff of models and hostesses and -- you know. We seemt to think they would never fair better elsewhere, especially since the side shows weren't hiring, and we were right. They decorated the place in Early Sleaze and opened it up for business, and it took off with a bang. They served oysters and kool-laid and any kinky thing any customer could think up, they offered it. And the customers loved it.

And then one night a model in typose (her specialty was S&M) picked a fight with a girl named Memoires.

"You maroon!" she screamed at her rival. "Why don't you go back to Pittsburgh, have yourself some PA nites?"

Now, Memoires was the main attraction of the house, always dressed in silk moiré -- if you could call it dressed -- and all the other denizens of the place lined up and took sides. Well, the perevert owners (headed by a Père John, who had a 50% interest) quickly reckognized that this was trouble with a capital T. And they knew that to let it escalate could reck their business.

"Hit the gong!" yelled one of the 10% owners. "The staff is gong bonkers!"

"Just let me say my peace," Typose girl implored her employers. "Maybe we can agree on a treaty."

"Silence!" demanded another one of the owners, this one a 20-percenter. "Put on your chasity panites and behave! We cannot allow our staff to descen into descention. It's not decent! Memoires is our biggest moneymaker here. Perhaps it would be best if the surly typose girl leaves."

"Please don't fire me!" she begged, tying herself up contritely and posing as prettily as she knew how. "You can take me off the Web site and ban me from the click but let me stay in the house!"

"Let me think," said Père John, clicking his dentures as he thought.

Meanwhile, the girls grew restless and began yelling insults at each other. The verbal assaults rapidly devolved into hitting, jabbing, pinching, poking, clawing, and biting. Only when one of the pereverts caught sight of Typose rolling around on the floor with Memoires, pulling her maroon hair and choking her blue, did it finally occur to him to bang the gong. As the heavy, ancient gong bonged and reverberated, its peals resonating off the red silk walls, the fractious ladies fell to their knees, covered their ears, and began speaking in tongues. It seemt the gong had made the staff bonkers. As you might imagine, the whole business model of the house changed after that and it wasn't long until the strange rituals going on in there attracted the attention of the media.

The local editor could not believe the base descention into sleeze that had occurred in the infamous house on the famous street and it was with great diffuculty that she wrote about it in the local paper. She failed, however, to diffuse the mystique that was swirling about the place. Well, that gave rise to the cult following that now surrounds the house. Memoires is high priestess and chief tongue-speaker of the cult known as the House of Sleeze, and it brings in more money than plain old original sin ever had a chance of making.


HNT







You Scored an A


It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

26 comments:

Variant E said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
Don't remember but fortunately I had purchased the extended warranty; it was a wise purchase.
2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats? Swimsuit on a tropical beach, actually.
3. Do you wear shorts in the summer? And the spring, and the fall, and to work, and to funerals (well, perhaps I'll make an exception for that)
4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without? No jewelery but I have some metal plates in my arm that I won't leave home without.
5. Have you taken a vacation this year? Hmmm...you think?
6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort? I did all that at once in Dominican Republic
7. Do you remember your first kiss?
I think it was the album with Gene Simmons sticking his tongue out and they were all wearing makeup.
8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, or other?
Pepsi...it's my coffee since I don't drink coffee

Charles said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken? 16

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats? Yes and No, not necessarily in that order.

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer? Sometimes in the winter, too.

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without? Only if you consider my watch jewelry.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year? All year, why ruin a good thing?

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort? No.

7. Do you remember your first kiss? No.

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, or other? Pepsi.

I see you threw in your own "reck" in the story, and being human bothers me, too. ;)

Charles said...

Variant E,
Your #7 is just ewe. Now I'm disturbed.

Roxan said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
16
2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?
sweats
3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
yes
4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
My celtic knot ring and my Claddagh ring. They are on my key ring. LOL
5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
What's a vacation?
6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
You mean there somewhere besides Ireland?
7. Do you remember your first kiss?
Yes, it was horrible.
8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, or other?
Diet Rite

I got an A on the quiz. Of course!

Charles said...

You Scored an A
It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.
#7 says only one is correct, but the first and last answers are identical, they left out the "they're" usage.

Kanrei said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
18, Elisa…

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?
Pajama bottoms and a tye-dye

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
Not if I can help it. They feel incomplete.

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
You have asked this one before.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
Yes

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
Going somewhere is never a vacation, its work. I usually need a vacation after those vacations.

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
Yes, Elisa…

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?
Diet Coke. You mean there are other things to drink?

The words:

staff is gong bonkers- An office filled with Chuck Barris fans

pereverts- underage perverts

fair better- as in “fair better this year than last.”

say my peace- John Lennon quote

Typose- The Greek God of typographical errors (OK, I really like this one!)

kool laid- combination of the Electric Kool-Aide Acid Test and a porn.

Serena Joy said...

VE, if you were to market the warranty you mention in #1, you could retire rich.:) Yeah, I know, with you #5 is a no brainer. {{sigh}}

Yes, Charles, I do consider watches jewelry. What is your secret to #5? If you could market that, YOU could also retire rich.:)

Aw, I'm sorry about your #7, Roxan. Mine was great, which just added insult to injury when the little shit later broke my heart.:)

I'm not surprised at all the A's on the grammar test.

Kan, you should perhaps devote some blogging time to this heart-breaking siren person, E. I share your pain on #6. So true! LOVE your definitions. They're so good they had me chortling out loud.:)

Kanrei said...

No good E stories (that my mom can read) for my blog. I was young, she was young, I was her first, she was mine so you can imagine the mess and how many times "oh, sorry" and "did that hurt" was said.

Charles said...

#5? Money management, and starving. :)
Seriously though, I'm not starving, yet. I had some money put back in case of unemployment, and I haven't looked for a job. I should really start, since unemployment never looks good on a resume, even when its voluntary, plus my savings are getting thin. I'm not the kind that must buy buy buy, I have only my rent(s), utilities, insurance, etc. to pay, and I live in the same 1 bedroom apartment I moved into 7+ years ago. I don't own much, but I can't take it with me when I die anyway. A Dido song that comes to mind is in order here, I think.

Top cat said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
18

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?
jeans

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
Negative

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
Wedding ring, other than that I don't even wear a watch.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
Visited my mom in Florida but it wasn't really a vacation.

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
Beach near a lake and mountains:)

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
nope

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?
Diet Coke(coke zero)1 can a week.:)

Great story using twisted linquistics
tc

Camille Alexa said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
For real, y'alls' long-term memories are formidable if this makes sense to you.

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?
Neither.

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
Never!

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
S's ring and grandmother's locket.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
I live a vacation.

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
Anything but the resort, though each would have to be specific places. Detroit's a big city, but I don't want to vacation there. Paris, Copenhagen, Quebec City, San Francisco...all those could be fine. It depends on the company.

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
For real? This makes no sense to me. I've had boyfriends since I was three years old.

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?
Dislike sodas intensely, but like fruit juice mixed with club soda (and a squirt of gin/rum/whiskey/vodka, depending on the juice and my mood).

Serena Joy said...

I'm sure there are some great "E" stories, Kan, but you're right, you probably wouldn't want Mom reading them.:)

I could get down with money management, Charles, but not starving. Yikes! Everything happens exactly when and as it's supposed to. Ergo, when you "need" a job, one will be there.:)

Wow, TC -- if you ever find that beach you described in #6, let me know where it is. Only one Coke a week? That, sir, must take some discipline. Glad you enjoyed the "story.":)

I don't know, Camille. My memory doesn't go "way" back, but I do remember the age when I became interested in kissing boys. Why the declarative "Never!" to #5? Not even on a good butt day? Club soda, juice, and a squirt of rum tastes mighty good.:)

Serena Joy said...

My answers:

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?
14

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats?
Honestly? Sweats. I rarely wear them, though, because jeans look better.

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
Absolutely

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
My opal ring and my grandmother's wedding band

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
Just a couple of long weekend mini-vacations

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
Beach

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
The first "real" one, yes. It was that same year (14), same boy.:)

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?
It used to be Dr Pepper all the way. Now it's Diet Coke.

Lee said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken? 18

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats? These days "sweats"

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer? No longer...no shorter either!

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without? Yes..a couple of rings I always wear...I'd have to leave my fingers behind and that would be quite difficult.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year? Nope

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort? By the beach with a lake to the side and the mountains at the back, far from a city in a posh resort.

7. Do you remember your first kiss? Yes...unfortunately...it was horrible!

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other? Pepsi by a mile.

Scary Monster said...

1. The Monster does not get he heart broken. It be the other way around.

2. Me be most comfortable without any clothing of any kind, but modesty and a strong sense of shame compels me to cover up with jeans.

3. Me wears shorts everyday. And because me mom were so strict, me makes certain that they be clean for the ever present possibility of an auto accident.

4. Yup. a fishbone pendant that me wrote about some time ago.

5. HAWAII!!!!!!!!!

6. The place not matter, the company does.

7.Tryin to at this very moment.

8.Dad's root beer, Dr. Browns Cel-Ray or Manhattan Special when me can get me paws on them.

Stomperooo!

Scary Monster said...

Christ, my wife just slapped me in the head!

My wedding band. My wedding band!!!

Serena Joy said...

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
You have asked this one before.


Oops, my senility is showing, Kan.:-)

Your beach sounds wonderful, Lee. Oh, dear, sorry about your #7 experience as well.:)

I guess Scary Monsters don't really need clothes. It kind of defeats the purpose, I suppose. #3 is a good rule to live by. If it weren't for our mothers and the threat of accidents, we'd all be running around in dirty shorts.:) Tell Vixen it's not nice to slap Scary Monsters upside the head.

Charles said...

Oh I am laughing my arse off. The language cleared up pretty good.

G-Man said...

1.22
2.Khaki's
3.Shorts practically year round.
4.My Watch..I have over 30 watches, I feel naked without it.
5. No
6. A lake
7. Yes..Chris Draves..11th grade
8. 7-Up!!..Last night anyway!!!

You Rock Sherry!!
xxxxxxx

Serena Joy said...

Laughter's good for you, Charles, but which language?:)

Good heavens, Galen, shorts year round? Michigan is COLD. Don't you freeze your butt off? Dr. Sherry recommends you go have another 7-Up and think about that.:-)
xoxoxox

Variant E said...

Charles...was number 7 talking about the smoochy thing? I thought it meant KISS albums from the 70s. Oops.

Corn Dog said...

I don't remember most of those answers. I always wear my watch. I wear jeans all the time unless I'm sleeping. I like Sprite 0. I forgot my first kiss - pathetic, isn't it? I remembered it for years. I should sue someone over this memory deal. Now if I can only remember whose at fault.

Camille Alexa said...

I never ever ever wear shorts. Has nothing to do with my physiology, just my atypical aesthetic choices.

Charles said...

Scary's of course.

Pink said...

I wonder if I made it in on time for Miss Begotten....

I want to know...if a man breaks up the relationship with you, why does he still read your blog?

snowelf said...

1. How old were you the first time you got your heart big-time broken?

9th grade. It was Bo and then Donnie, back to back. I cried for weeks.

2. Are you more comfortable in jeans or sweats? I don't really wear either, but I'd go with the sweats. I usually bum out in shorts and long sleeved shirts.

3. Do you wear shorts in the summer?
Yes, but I wear skirts the most.

4. Is there one (or more) piece of jewelry you won't leave home without?
Right now, a bracelet I made for my friend's brother in Iraq. I won't take it off until he comes home safe.

5. Have you taken a vacation this year?
Yes--three of them to StL. :)

6. Would your ideal vacation spot be on a beach, by a lake, in the mountains, in a city, or strictly in a posh resort?
Right now, a beach. But anywhere with my friends is a great place for a vacation!! :)

7. Do you remember your first kiss?
Yes--it was Andrew. We kissed in a closet.

8. If you drink sodas, do you prefer (including the Diet versions) Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, Sprite, 7-Up, or other?
I am a black cherry vanilla coke girl, but it's hard to find now, so it's been diet coke with lime. mostly I drink flavored carbonated water though--feel of soda, none of the guilt! ;)